It's possible you think I’m crazy for even suggesting this, but I ask you to keep an open mind and really consider the idea. Is it not part of the responsibility of leaders to develop and retain their workforce? Retention has been a topic in every leadership course, seminar and training that I’ve been to. It’s one of the first things many of us are taught as leaders.
So, is the idea of talking to your boss when you're contemplating quitting your job really that crazy? Why wouldn’t you want to talk to your leader before you resign? They are there to help you develop, they want to retain you. Nobody wants to lose team members. (Well, in most cases, anyway.)
Yes, I know about the horror stories we've heard that have trained many of us to be scared to have this conversation. So, imagine, if you will, a grumpy leader who cares for nothing except the job they have. It’s the only thing that drives them. It's their purpose and passion in life. The engine they built is a well-oiled machine and can accomplish many wonderous things. Now add employees. Well, to the grumpy leader, you might as well throw wrenches into his engine. These darn employees are going to clank around and break things up into pieces.
I get it — if you aren’t getting along with your boss, you may fear that this conversation will have disastrous results. But what if the conversation had the opposite effect? What if it was the catalyst for a better working relationship? Honestly, you won’t know which way it’s going to go until you have it. But that does not mean that you can't prepare for it and steer that conversation in the direction you want to go.
Here are some ideas to use next time you think you might need to quit.
Be Honest With Yourself
What do you want to accomplish? Is your mind already made up, or are you open to solutions? What are the consequences? It is going to be extremely important to know where you stand and what you want before starting this conversation. If you don’t, you may come across as simply complaining. I think a lot of people fall into this trap — they have all the best intentions going into the conversation, but they are emotionally driven at this point. If you can be honest with yourself, you are more likely to set emotions aside and focus on the facts. If you can approach this conversation with facts and not emotions, you appear focused, prepared and open.
Be Honest With Your Leader
If you want this conversation to have a positive outcome, you must be honest with your leader as well as with yourself. It will be up to your boss to handle it accordingly, and if they don’t, well, maybe that provides the answer you were looking for. However, you must approach with care and caution. Present your case and what is making you second-guess your employment. But you don’t want to sound negative either. Empathize. This is a great way to not sound like you're looking to complain, but rather to share that something is genuinely making you question your role, and you want to fix it.
Come Prepared With A Plan
It will be important to come with options to put on the table. What ideas do you have to resolve what is making you consider quitting? If anything were possible, how would you do it? Lay it out there for your boss to see and hear. They may not like your plan, or they may love it. They may use it, or they may poke holes in and fill the gaps themselves. It doesn’t matter. Because what we are getting across here is the action behind it: You acted to try to resolve a matter before quitting. You brought something to the attention of your leader with a proposed plan. You genuinely have a concern and are willing to try to fix it. You might even go as far as asking your leader for their own suggestions after presenting your plan. There are many ways you could go about it. Consider whether your plan and presentation call for a slide deck or other materials. This is where you can demonstrate your willingness to act.
Leave With An Action Plan
What is the next step, and when? Who is responsible for what? What obstacles will you face, and how should you navigate them? This plan could be you leaving the company. That’s OK, because first you tried to solve the problem here, and that is what matters. But it could also be you helping the company because you spoke up. Yes, it takes courage, and yes, you may feel that you look silly once or twice. But I’d rather feel silly and laugh about it later than regret not giving my all. Leave this conversation with action. Decide what is next and how to accomplish it, and then act.
No one should get dismissed for trying. What if you saw something that your leader didn’t? What if the red flag you saw is a major issue or concern? Leaders typically have eyes that see things differently; they have experiences that cause them to have certain thought processes; you are different and bring diverse backgrounds to your observations. We are all different, and we all see things differently. Maybe what is concerning you would concern them too now that they know about it.
I want you to have courage and integrity during this conversation and the many workplace discussions to come in your future. Why? Because you are deserving of the best opportunities you can create for yourself.
