How to Curb an Online Porn Addiction

You've heard of people who literally freeze their credit cards into a block of ice so that they can't use them without really thinking about it, right? Or what about people with a gambling problem who self-exclude by putting themselves on a list so that casinos will reject them? Some online behaviors work similarly. We'd like to have more self-control, but don't. If you're in this boat, whether it's due to an online porn addiction, impulse shopping habit,

Here, I'll explain some options. The first few are heavyweight ways for those with a serious problem. The second batch of options are of midrange strength, enough to curb your behavior, but not iron-clad by any stretch. Finally, I'll point to a few lightweight options that give you some restrictions, but more importantly cause you to think twice before doing something you wish you'll hadn't.

Here, I'll explain three options: one heavyweight choice for those with a serious problem, one of midrange strength, and one that's fairly lightweight but can still help you think twice before doing something you wish you'll hadn't.

The Heavyweight Option: Parental Control Security Suite
Neil Rubenking, lead security analyst at PCMag, tests numerous security suites and parental control software every year. It was in his review of ContentWatch Net Nanny that I came across this passage and got (or "stole") the idea for this article:

"Some individuals co-opt parental control programs to avoid accidentally visiting offensive or illicit sites. You'll also find the occasional user with a porn problem installing Net Nanny for self-control. A person in that situation will typically hand over control of the account to a trusted friend. The fact that all configuration occurs online makes it easy for the friend to stay on top of things. What if you don't want to tell anybody about your addiction? For $49.99 per year, Net Nanny will serve as your trusted friend. If you need a configuration change, you can call or email during business hours, Mountain Time. And if you're willing to stick with contact via email, the price goes down to $29.99 per year. Don't even think about cracking into your own account; the password changes every day."

So there you have it. The best way to stop porn surfing may be to install specialized software and then hand over the password for that software to the company that makes it. Consider yourself locked out of every device running Net Nanny.

I asked Rubenking if he had more advice, and he told me, "You could take almost any full-featured parental control system and let a friend or partner set the configuration password to something you don't know. That would have a similar effect. What Net Nanny offers is the option to have them take configuration out of your hands, so you don't have to let anyone know about your porn addiction."

If you interested in using something other than Net Nanny with the help of a trusted friend, take a look at this list of free parental control utilities and parental control apps for smartphones.

The Midrange Options: Use Your Computer's or Router's Settings
One of the simplest ways to limit the sites you can visit, and thus restrict your bad online behavior, is to create an alternate user account on your computer for when you need to focus, and lock yourself out of the administrator account. You might name the new account Guest or even something more explicit like Child Safe or Distraction Free. This method would be especially effective if you have another person in the house who can serve as the computer's administrator. (Some professors have told me that during exam weeks, their students will ask their friends to change their Facebook passwords, achieving the same end, more or less.)

There are a lot of ways to play this one out. You might, for example, forever and always use an account with child-safe restrictions on it. Or you could just switch user accounts only when you want to focus and not be distracted, which takes more self-control but at least does provide a layer of action that will make you think twice before doing the thing you don't want to do.

Another way to use your computer itself to curb bad online behavior is to actively block your computer from reaching specific domains by adding a few lines of code to the Windows hosts file. This article offers clear instructions on how to block Web ads in this way. You can use the same technique to block porn sites. Follow the instructions, and your computer won't be able to access the sites, period. The shortcoming with this solution is that it's domain-specific, so it won't block all sites with adult content, but only the ones you think to enter, which for certain kinds of behavior can be tedious. On the other hand, if you're distracted by one or two very specific sites, it could be an ideal solution.

Another way to stop all Internet traffic in your home from hitting porn sites is to configure your router to use OpenDNS Family Shield. Again, you'll want to make sure someone other than the addict has the administrator password. An easy way to bypass this restriction is to pull out a mobile device that's using cellular data instead of the Wi-Fi, which is why this option is in the mid-range strength section.

The Lightweight Option: URL Blockers
The third option, and I consider this one to be the most lightweight, is to install a URL blocker as a browser plug-in or add-on. There are many URL blockers, and they all work differently. The best ones let you block the browser from reaching domains that you list either all the time, or during select days and hours. Some have pre-loaded lists of sites to block, such as the most popular social networks or sites that are notorious time wasters (Buzzfeed, anyone?).

One of my favorite URL blocker is Stayfocusd. I actually set it across all my Chrome browsers to limit my daily Facebook activity to one hour. Stayfocusd has great settings for enforcing self-discipline: countdown clocks, a self-imposed lock-out feature, and good customization options for limiting your online activity.

Another one that's new to me but shows a lot of promise is BlockSite, available for both Chrome and Firefox. One neat feature in this blocker is that you can have it redirect you to a site of your choosing if you try to get at any sites you listed as prohibited. For example, if have an online shopping problem, you could set all Amazon.com pages to redirect you to an online budgeting app, like Mint.com. Or maybe a good deterrent would be to enter your favorite porn site, but have BlockSite redirect you to a page that might be a more wholesome reminder, like your kid's school's website or your wedding photos on your wife's Facebook page. Ideas abound!

One problem with URL blockers is that they are browser-specific. You might install one on Google Chrome that effectively limits your unwanted online behavior, but if you really want to get around it, you might fire up Safari or Internet Explorer instead. Even if you install a URL blocker on each of your browsers, they might not be the same blocker across them all, meaning you get a new allotment of time on different sites with each one. Or you could pick up your mobile phone and surf there. Those reasons make this solution lightweight. URL blockers put up decent obstacles that might make you rethink your bad behavior before you partake in it, but they won't be truly effective at stopping you when you just can't stop yourself.

Barriers to Bad Behavior
To curb a bad online habit, you don't necessarily have to lock yourself up and throw away the key. For many people, just having a barrier between them and the habit they want to quit makes them rethink the behavior before indulging it, allowing self-control to kick in. For people who have a much harder time with self-control, the good news is you can lock yourself out of certain sites or kinds of sites and give the key either to a trusted friend, or to Net Nanny for a small fee, if you'd rather not explain your penchant for porn to a friend.

Find more ways to stop distractions in my recommended list of apps for staying focused on Cyber Monday.