Bullying policies in place, yet bullying continues

The football player said he’s been bullied for much of his life because of his weight.

Lake Central High School senior Caleb Beasley said he often has been the victim of cyberbullying through texts and Twitter messages.

Ted Stankiewicz said he and his wife were asked to withdraw their youngster from a local Catholic elementary school despite his view that it was the other student who bullied his son.

The Indiana General Assembly in 2013 passed a law that requires schools to implement anti-bullying policies and programs.

Now, every school corporation in the state has such policies and holds programs annually to teach students what bullying is and how to respond should it occur.

Yet, bullying continues to happen.

Brehmer said the bullying got really bad when he was a seventh-grader at Willowcreek Middle School in Portage.

“People told me I was too big to be a football player. They told me I didn’t have the talent or willpower to be a football player, and that I wasn’t athletic enough,” he said.

Brehmer said he comes from a family of big people, and that his brother also played football — and also was bullied.

“It didn’t happen to me in football, but it did happen in class and in the hallway,” he said. “It didn’t make me feel good about myself. I don’t like to see people getting bullied and going through that pain.”

Brehmer, 15, decided to set goals for himself.

As a middle-schooler, he said he was about 5 feet 9 and weighed 240 pounds. He went on a diet. He trained and practiced regularly. He pushed himself to run faster and harder, and put himself through drills. He made the middle school football team, playing his seventh- and eighth-grade years.

“Once I started losing weight, the bullying decreased,” he said. “Towards the end of my eighth-grade year, people noticed that I was losing weight. They began noticing me as a football player, not just the big guy who scored.”

Today, Brehmer is 6 feet tall and weighs a trim 200 pounds — and has grown into himself in more ways than one.

Brehmer and his friend made an anti-bullying video that has been shown to students and staff.

‘It is no joke’

Similarly, Lake Central’s Caleb Beasley produced a public service announcement about cyberbullying, something he said he experiences.

He and his broadcast partner submitted the video to The Greatest Save, a contest that is part of a national nonprofit dedicated to kids’ personal safety, and it won first place. Beasley also is editor-in-chief of the high school’s station, Lake Central Television.

In an email to The Times, Beasley said he deletes the bullying texts and Twitter messages.

“I never tell an administrator,” he said. “Some people don’t consider cyberbullying to be that big of a deal. Being cyberbullied often makes me feel sad, because no one wants bad things to be said about them, especially via Internet. My ultimate goal is to spread the word on cyberbullying so that people know that it is no joke.”

Ted Stankiewicz said he withdrew his then fourth-grade son from St. Thomas More School in Munster in October 2015 after a bullying incident.

“We believe our son was made an example of and the other boy was not held accountable, nor was the teacher, and so far, all of the people we contacted seemed to pass the buck and not take any responsibility for any kind of appeal or reconsideration,” Stankiewicz said.

St. Thomas More Principal Jay Harker said he could not discuss specifics, but described the process according to diocesan policy. “Any report of bullying is investigated, reported to proper authorities and followed up with appropriate consequences. If we receive additional information after the initial investigation is concluded, this information is also reviewed,” he said.

Seeing all sides

Highland schools Superintendent Brian Smith said teachers and administrators take bullying seriously. He said all staff has had considerable training.

“Our students put together a bullying video and employees have watched it,” he said. “It’s also on our website. We require every employee to go through the training. There is a difference between one incident and bullying, which is something that is constant and ongoing.”

Hebron Superintendent Nathan Kleefisch said not every family is monitoring what students do online, and sometimes young people find satisfaction in hurting others if they are not supervised by an adult.

“I don’t think kids really understand the impact that they have when they say hurtful things to other kids, and so the school and parents collectively have to be responsible and educate the kids and let them know it’s not right,” he said.

“Before technology, you could see a person’s reaction and they might start crying or be startled by the hurtful act or message. Technology takes away that visual perspective and negates the impact for the person sending it, and they don’t fully understand what they are doing.”

Kleefisch said there will always be bullies. Sometimes parents may have a situation going on at home, and it becomes a cultural norm for the child, he said.

“When the youngster goes to school and displays that behavior, it’s the responsibility of the school to stop the behavior and encourage positive behavior and consistently reinforce it,” Kleefisch said, “so that positive culture becomes the norm for the child.”

“It didn’t happen to me in football, but it did happen in class and in the hallway. It didn’t make me feel good about myself. I don’t like to see people getting bullied and going through that pain.” Noah Brehmer, 15, Portage