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How Lauren Miller Rogen Is Breaking Barriers With Her Directorial Debut Like Father

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Lauren Miller Rogen wrote her debut feature For A Good Time, Call... in 2012. Flash forward to 2018 and she's not only written but stepped behind the camera to direct Like Father. Six years ago when Lauren finished the script for Like Father and sold the project to Netflix she felt trepidation handing her project over to the then mostly untested streaming platform. The film was number one in 100 countries and more than 10 million Netflix subscribers watched it to completion in the first four days after its release. Starring Kristen Bell and Kelsey Grammer, this dramatic comedy follows little of Lauren's life in terms of its action and events but when she sat down in the editing suite, Lauren realised how much of her emotions and herself were in the script and story. Your correspondent recently caught up with Lauren to learn about how she found the courage to admit she wanted to direct this project, why she's included a plot line around Alzheimer's and how this film is certainly not a comedy.

1. How does it feel to finally have Like Father released after working on it for six years?

Yes, I had a general meeting with Anders Bard [the film's producer] over six years ago and he told me this idea that he actually had someone working on at the time, and I was like 'oh that’s good I want to write that.' He was like 'well, someone’s writing it' and I was like 'well, I want to write it!' So, I kind of stayed on at him and that other writer never did anything, so a few months after our first meeting he called and was like 'okay, it’s yours.'

I just thought it was such an interesting idea. I was not left at the altar and my dad is wonderful and has always been in my life. So, it wasn’t that. I was just sort of fascinated by the world that would be created by these circumstances and the crazy, emotional journey. I had this image in my head as soon as he put to me the idea of that moment when the two characters see each other at their wedding for the first time across the room, and what an outrageous circumstance to put two characters in, not to see each other for so long and make this somewhat outrageous setup but go on this real emotional journey.

2. Talk to me about the decision to direct Like Father yourself?

I definitely wanted to direct it. I’m kind of one of those people, I don’t know why I have this mentality, but when you’re new somewhere you act new. It automatically gives me this insecurity or just a lack of confidence when I’m new somewhere. For whatever reason and I don’t want to make up that it’s because I’m a woman or whatever, I don’t think that’s true, but it was hard for me to admit that, yes, I want to direct this. I’d directed a number of short things, and I was certainly ready to direct a feature. I think I was intimidated by Anders, which knowing him is such a funny thing because obviously he’s one of the greatest human beings ever, but he’s produced big movies! At the time I just didn’t really have the confidence to say it. When we sent the script to a few women they were like why are you sending this to me you should direct it and Anders was like 'okay, do you want to?' I was like 'yes, yes I do.' From that moment we just hit the ground running, and I felt like I had someone who believed in me. There was no hesitation, he just committed and I’m so lucky to have had that.

3. It’s interesting how you say you still feel new to the industry.

I know. I’m certainly not new to the industry, but when I was in school I thought I’ll graduate and I’ll be an assistant for three years. I never had that mentality of 'I’m going to write a script and they’re going to think I’m a genius.' I never had that. I just thought 'I’m going to tiptoe my way in, earn everyone’s respect.' That’s not who I am anymore but I had that mentality.

4. Over the six years since you started developing the film and then sold it to Netflix, the industry has changed so much and the power of streaming services like Netflix has grown hugely, did you ever have trepidation about selling the film to Netflix in the first place?

I know, it’s really crazy the journey that Netflix has gone on. I was telling someone the other day that after For a Good Time, Call... came out, as an actor, things were different for me. I was sent the script and had an appointment to go audition for Orange Is The New Black. I remember everyone was like 'woah, I don’t know what’s this going to be like?' Then before I could go in they cast Taylor Schilling, so I never went in for it, but literally my team and I were like 'I don’t know about this TV show', but obviously we know how that has gone! 

Once we decided I was going to be the director, we just started sending it around and no-one wanted to take a chance on me. The studios and independent financers wouldn't pick up on something that wasn't a sure thing in this industry. That is why we have sequels and things like that, not that I don’t love those. But it was at the time when Netflix had just started getting into their original programming as far as movies go, and one of our producers Amanda Bowers was like 'I know someone at Netflix do you want me to send it to them?' I sent it to Matt Levin [director of content acquisition at Netflix], and he read it and he liked it. He was like 'we’re in. We want to hear your voice; we want to take chances on new people who have good content.' And they don’t care about the risk. At the time it was like 'okay I guess we’re going to make a movie with Netflix', and here we are.

5. When you start working on a new film project, do you think you're going to have to build up your confidence again to believe in yourself that you can lead that next project?

No, my whole point of view about my career, and where it’s going and where I would like it to go, has fortunately changed. I can own it now. Directing this movie felt good. I’m not saying it’s a perfect movie, there are things I would change; there’s so much that I learnt. I think I would do some things differently next time. However, it worked out fortunately. I’d waited so long because of my insecurities to reach a point where I felt ready to do it. I’m certainly ready to do it again, and I would start tomorrow if the right project was in front of me. 

6. What was it about this story that you immediately connected with?

It was sort of an interesting process realising why I made this movie, and why I was drawn to it when the set up is so not actually related to my everyday life. I didn’t really realise it until I was editing that what I had done was written not my story but written a lot of the emotions of my life into this character. My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 12 years ago and that put me on an emotional path. From that moment on the way I viewed the world emotionally changed, and I’ve gone on quite a journey -  a dark, angry journey for many years - and I spent a lot of time when I was writing this movie in that dark, angry place. I felt such extraordinary pain about losing my mum in a way and was just so existential about life and the point of it. Why are we here? I think I ended up putting so much of that anger at circumstances that are out of our control into the script and into Rachel’s character. I ended up creating this woman who thought she had it all figured out, she has her job that she loves like I do, she has her perfect guy, and it’s like that’s not life, shit happens. Sometimes it goes off the rails. The plan you thought you had, which I thought I had a plan with my parents and my mum, and that’s not my reality. I had to learn to balance the highs and lows in life, which was real hard for me. It became these really funny moments and these really sad moments. My own life is somewhat a dramedy, and I made this dramedy that is highs and lows that are life.

7. How did you stay strong when met with the word no from executives and industry-types throughout the process of getting this made?

I’ve always been the person who doesn’t take no for an answer very easily. Throughout my whole life, I’ve never taken the easy route; it’s part of why I chose this as a profession because it’s not easy. As a writer I’ve faced no - after no - after no. It’s just a part of this industry, and it doesn’t feel good. It sucks.

There was an amazing essay written recently by an actress from Glow [Betty Gilpin], and I was just like yes this! With For a Good Time, Call, it was such a big deal to get that movie made at the time. I remember walking one time from my trailer, it was like a little closet, to the set and one of the PAs was like 'Lauren walking.' and I was like 'don’t say that you make me feel like the president.' This is why you push through to get to that high of being around actors and trained crew people who are so good at their job and the energy and that excitement. I love being on set so much that I don’t know how to give up. In my freshman year of high school, I auditioned for the cheerleading squad because I was a gymnast, and I didn’t make it. I was devastated, so I tried out the next year and I made it. That’s always just been my thing, because if I give up I’m never going to get to do the thing that I really want to do. 

8. Talk to me about defying expectations to make such a nuanced film?

The film was never meant to be a comedy. It wasn’t written as a comedy; we didn’t shoot it as a comedy. Our goal was to take this idea of getting left at the altar, which is somewhat elevated, but to tell a really grounded story around that, and it’s been positioned as a comedy, and I think that therefore people have this expectation.

Take Stephen Spielberg as an example, who is arguably the greatest storyteller of our time, who made tremendous movies from the beginning, but who didn’t get an Oscar until he made Schindler’s List. Were the other movies not great? Those movies are special, wildly creative, fun stories with intricate narratives and characters that have lived on for generations. Until he did something completely dramatic he wasn’t fully respected. Now when we watch his movies we don’t even have to watch a trailer to know what we’re going to get because we’ve decided what kind of filmmaker Stephen Spielberg is.

I am blessed with the expectations that what I do will be funny or cute or sweet because I’m cute or sweet. But I hope that in time maybe people will realise that I have more to tell than stories that are just cute and sweet and have a balance between the funny and the dramatic because that’s what I want to do. If we could go into every movie without these expectations I bet our experiences would be that much richer. This movie is a nuanced story of two people who have made choices in their lives that haven’t worked out so well and have had to confront their status in the world if they are going to move forward and grow as human beings.

Linda Kallerus

9. On set did you have to prove yourself as a female director to win the respect of your team?

I always try to be very positive because I live a very fortunate life. I’ll say that being the plus one to my husband to all the many wonderful things is fantastic, but I recognise the judgment that comes automatically before anyone meets me, before they know anything about me, from being someone’s wife. There is a stigma to that. A lot of times people say I’m Seth Rogen’s wife. Am I proud of it? Yes, I’m so proud of my husband I couldn’t love him more; I’d literally shout it from the rooftops if I was on one about how much I love him. But I am much more than that and, I think that we as a society want to define everyone, especially women, in these roles.

Even people like Kristen Bell, people want her to be happy and funny and in a good mood, and god forbid she be sad because she’s just been left at the altar, and her dad has shown up, and she shows real anger and emotion because we have this expectation that she’s princess Anna, and she’s funny and happy and cute when she’s so much more than that. She’s three dimensional across the board with feelings and emotions and intelligence - everything that makes up an extraordinary woman you know? I think that we have a desire to put people in these boxes and these categories. So I’m married to a comedian, I must be funny. A cute girl, so therefore I make a romantic comedy. I don’t necessarily fit into those boxes, and this is not a romantic comedy. It’s not even a comedy, but maybe because of the people attached to it, the expectation is that it’s one thing.

Have I felt it? Yes. Do I then just sort of work against it? Yes, I do that too. Honestly, we had a very male crew, but they were amazing. I feel like right away I proved to everyone that I knew what I was talking about and what I wanted. I wasn’t insecure and had done the work to be where I was. Any of that judgement, for the most part as far as our cast and crew went, went away immediately, which was amazing.

10. You've since founded Hilarity for Charity - a resource for the millennial generation to raise awareness about and support those dealing with Alzheimer's - what do you have planned in the coming months?

We are doing so much all the time. Last year we established ourselves as our own 501 (c) (3), which has now allowed us to build our own staff, which is really exciting. A lot of our programmes that have paused for a little bit are starting back up. We have an online support group for people so it’s kind of like an online hangout for caregivers that’s starting soon. Our college programme HSBU will be happening again this fall. Our grant programme, which is a partnership with Home Instead Senior Care, which is an international caregiving agency; we are partnering with them to give away free healthcare to people who wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford it.

So today we’ve given away over 250,000 hours, which is crazy when you think about it but the need for care in this country is extreme; it’s an epidemic. A lot of the money we raise is for that programme, and then hopefully we’ve just started researching into brain health and prevention and creating some videos, which will be out soon to teach people how to care for their brains and to live a brain-healthy lifestyle, which I think is amazing and I’m really proud of. From my own experience you can feel hopeless with Alzheimer’s disease because at this point there are no treatments or cures; however, I personally feel a lot of hope these days just knowing about prevention and so many of the things that are in the pipeline. We are just trying to support some of that education and cutting-edge research.

It’s a crazy disease, and it’s becoming more relevant and people are talking about it, which is why I included a storyline about it in the movie because I really believe that the more we talk about these things they become more normalised. Once things are more normalised then we take action against them, so that’s why I included it in there.

11. You’ve spoken before about your frustration over people misrepresenting Alzheimer’s?

Yes, it’s one of those things where it’s just sort of misunderstood in general. And it’s a disease that affects every person who gets it differently. I was speaking to someone recently who didn’t know that you died from Alzheimer’s. It’s so misunderstood. I think the concept of losing your memory is really hard to grasp, hard to understand what memory is. It is not just forgetting that you’re a mum, if you forget how to chew and swallow then you know what you’re not doing, you’re not eating. It’s not like it pops back in sometimes, it’s gone. We’re all forgetful people; we all forget where we parked, but when we forget that we drove to the mall in the first place then we have a problem. I think that it’s a really scary thing to lose one’s memory. We in general as a society are scared of death, which is why we’ve created religion I think. There’s a lot of stigma around it but it’s only going to get better if we push through that stigma, and talk about it and normalise it.