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Chris Christie Dreaming About 72-Inch Springsteen Sub

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TRENTON, NJ—Slowly licking his lips and salivating as he indulged his imagination, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly spent most of Friday afternoon alone in his office daydreaming about a mouthwatering 72-inch Springsteen sub. “Mayo, lettuce, Bruce Springsteen, a few of those spicy peppers right on top—oh man,” Christie was overheard murmuring to himself alone at his desk, his eyes closed as he tantalized his taste buds with visions of the 6-foot-long toasted sandwich piled high with the Boss and provolone cheese. “Mmmmmmm.” At press time, sources confirmed Christie had decided to sprinkle some Little Steven on top as well.