Some mysterious foreign investor with zero ties to the fourth-largest city in America?
Seattle?
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Get ready for a show. And if Monday's absolutely unexpected bombshell wasn't shocking enough - Leslie Alexander suddenly putting the Rockets up for sale - the realization of what follows was almost as eerie and odd.
We're still figuring out Jim Crane and getting used to the idea of praising the Astros' winning owner.
We get frustrated at Bob McNair. But we ultimately know he's the man who brought the NFL back to Houston, his Texans are the biggest thing in this sports-obsessed city and the community benefits from his 9-7 team.
Alexander? Alexander was cement solid. An annual certainty dating to 1993. The proof that Houston could actually win championships - back-to-back years, in fact - and capture international superstars during the era of super teams.
James Harden. Chris Paul. Dwight Howard. Charles Barkley. Scottie Pippen. Carmelo Anthony (?). None of those names is wrapped in Rockets red or even linked to this city's NBA franchise without Alexander leading the charge.
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And … now what?
Seriously: Now what?
Fertitta is the easy, simple answer on paper. The public checkbook for the University of Houston's greatly improved athletics program told the Chronicle he's interested in the thought of taking over Alexander's courtside seat at Toyota Center.
If the numbers check out, the rows align and there's no secret plan to rename the Rockets the Fried Jumbo Shrimp and relocate the team to Lake Charles, La., Fertitta could become an ideal local answer to the new void.
But these things rarely go smoothly and are often much more complicated than they should be.
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And let's be completely honest while we're reminiscing about 1994 and '95, and trying to figure out what in the heck is going on. Monday's bombshell couldn't have come at an odder time.
One surprise after another
The new week began weird for the fire-hot Rockets. An unexpected Monday morning email announcing a news conference with only CEO Tad Brown - no Mike D'Antoni, Daryl Morey or Alexander - and the vague tease of a "major announcement."
The Harden-Paul Rockets suddenly being on the block obviously qualified as that. And where the Rockets go from here becomes the question no one was even considering three days after CP3 Day.
Alexander sat in the front row - quiet, calm, observing - for Paul's celebratory news conference Friday. Harden had his own event Saturday, flanked by Morey and D'Antoni.
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Now this? And in the same summer when the Rockets were rivaling the American League-best Astros as the biggest hit in town.
Rockets: FOR SALE.
What???!
Firing Kevin McHale just 11 games into the 2015-16 season was a stunner. Alexander placing the Rockets on the open market days after Paul said, "I cannot wait, Houston. I cannot wait," before a roaring and adoring crowd falls into the realm of the unexplainable.
Brown spoke for more than 20 minutes Monday, but there was no clear explanation. Alexander had become worn down by the "grind," Brown said, and was ready to move on. That's all we got.
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Alexander was the driving force behind the Rockets hiring D'Antoni last summer and the antithesis of a hands-off owner. Mark Cuban is annoying. Paul Allen is spacey. Alexander nailed the part - and he never phoned it in.
Always present at home games. Barking at the media after D'Antoni became the new answer. Shocking TV cameras by leaving his courtside seat during a playoff game so he could whisper in the ear of a ref.
Worn down from caring too much and trying too hard? That does make sense.
Alexander obviously has every right to walk away when he wants - it's his life and his team. But the timing couldn't be odder and there won't be any real certainty with the 2017-18 Rockets until a new owner is announced.
Alexander has been a mainstay for two-plus decades in this city. He collected superstars, pushed hard for a third ring and refused to settle for second best. He was a terrific owner and a tremendous asset to the community.
More questions than answers
Alexander also was a proud, fiery fighter and the two championship trophies that were so often displayed pregame in his suite were a reminder of how much he cared about his basketball team.
Which is why the way this went down - sudden, shocking, absolutely unexpected - already feels so weird.
You pair CP3 with Harden and target Melo, and then you walk away?
That doesn't sound like the Alexander we thought we were seeing - an owner who was getting closer and closer to his third ring.
Does Morey, the architect of the NBA's hottest team, stay through the future change?
What if the strongest candidate wants to move the Rockets out of this state?
They've never gotten that third ring. But ever since Alexander took over, his franchise has been defined by one word: stable.
Here's to the hope that the Rockets' new owner lasts half as long as the man ready to give it all up. And gives Alexander his third ring.