Floyd Blackmon Jr. doesn’t have to woo his fiance this Valentine’s Day with a bouquet of fresh flowers, a box of mixed chocolates, or a romantic dinner at a swanky restaurant. He already gave her a gift that transcends other gestures of “love.”
He cared for her while she was hospitalized for a serious surgery earlier this month.
“This man slept by my side for four days,” Destiny Mathis told me when I visited the couple at their Merrillville home. “He rubbed my back. He told me how strong I am. He helped me breathe. He cared for my kids when I couldn’t do it myself. Not a peep of a complaint.”
Blackmon modestly looked down as Mathis praised him at their kitchen counter. He didn’t say a word. He just smiled to himself.
Mathis continued to gush about the man she plans to marry.
“I’ve been through my share of bad relationships, so I know the difference between saying things and doing things,” she said.
Not through extravagant overtures of love, but with quiet gestures of thoughtfulness.
“Floyd is thoughtful like no other man in my life. He’s amazing to me,” Mathis said.
While listening to Mathis’ words and her heartfelt passion behind them, I thought about all the flowery words, obligatory gifts and mushy gestures that will be shared by couples on Valentine’s Day. You know the kind I’m talking about. Long-stem roses. Hallmark cards. Sexy overtones. Mushy poems. Anything shaped like a heart.
I’m as guilty as any hopeless romantic when it comes to such gifts and gestures on this holiday. Handmade cards. Delivered bouquets. Dining reservations. Sentimental gifts. I’ve done them all. Heck, for the past several Valentines Days, I’ve sent a ladies’ singing group, the Great Lake Sound Chorus, to surprise my lady at her workplace. (She’s no longer surprised.)
Those gifts may be lovely but they don’t express love in the same way that Blackmon showed it to Mathis at the hospital. When she looked her worst. When she felt anything but sexy or romantic. When she was in serious pain, chewing on a washcloth, cursing at him, and screaming at nurses.
“Nurses make the worst patients,” explained Mathis, who’s a licensed practical nurse at Residences at Deer Creek in Schererville, and a substitute nurse for Highland schools.
In 2012, the same year the couple first met, Mathis underwent a hysterectomy. Complications from the surgery resurfaced a couple of months ago.
“I wasn’t feeling too well and figured I probably had a ton of scar tissue,” Mathis said. “When they went in, they noticed I had an inguinal hernia that was pretty bad, and a hiatal hernia. I was coughing nonstop.”
After hours of surgery, she was placed on a liquid diet for two weeks.
“When I got discharged, Floyd had our fridge stocked with all the liquid-diet items he could find,” Mathis said. “And he switched to a liquid diet as well so I wouldn’t feel alone.”
Blackmon didn’t waver. He didn’t leave. He didn’t make excuses to get out of caring for her.
“I know God sent me the man who can deal with me through my awful times,” Mathis posted on her Facebook page after her condition improved. “He was doing the whole dad thing from the hospital when I couldn’t keep my eyes open long enough to be a mom.”
Mathis has three children, ages 15, 10 and 7. Blackmon isn’t their biological father. Still, her kids treat him as if he’s their dad. The 29-year-old Gary native works in the blast furnace at ArcelorMittal’s Burns Harbor plant.
“They always get to him first when he gets home from work,” Mathis told me as one of her young daughters playfully draped herself on Blackmon.
If Mathis’ name or face rings a bell, she is the single mother who once received a handwritten letter reply from former President Barack Obama. She ended up selling it to pay her backload of bills, becoming a national media darling for doing it. To this day, she regrets her decision.
“I didn’t know my life would turn out like this,” she said, glancing toward Blackmon.
The couple first locked eyes when he walked into a BMV in Merrillville where she then worked. She noticed the music blasting from his car in the parking lot. He noticed her coy smile, returning later to that same BMV to bring in needed paperwork.
“He claims that I was flirting with him through his receipt,” Mathis said.
Blackmon just smiled without saying a word. Smart man, I say.
He believes she drew a heart on his receipt. She recalls drawing only a smiley face. Regardless, a friendship was sparked. He was with someone else. She was with someone else. Life crawls along while Cupid works his magic. The couple is still not sure who said what to ignite a relationship.
In 2016, it erupted into a full-blown love affair. On June 22, 2017, the two officially became a couple. On July 15, 2018, Blackmon asked Mathis to marry him. She calls him “King.” She’s his queen. The couple will be celebrating their engagement like royalty later this month at a banquet hall in Schererville.
“The happy Mr. & Mrs.-to-be are raising 3 amazing children and are looking forward to spending the rest of their lives together,” their invitation states.
They’ve been living together for just over a year in a new construction home just off U.S. 30. A big house, three kids, two dogs and a love affair they didn’t expect.
“I have the best fiance in the world. I am so blessed,” said Mathis, who is still recuperating from her surgery. “He’s so much more than just my Valentine.”
