Bedford School Board Addresses 'Fine Line' In Parent Involvement

BEDFORD, NH — Parents being involved in their children's learning is important, but there are times when too much help is harmful to growth. This concept was discussed at this month's School Board meeting, as Bedford High School adopts a policy against "snowplow parenting" — dismissing a child from school during a pop-quiz, rewording a child's essay, or calling in a child sick from school if a project isn't done on time. According to Bedford High School Principal Bob Jozokos, this type of parenting can inhibit growth.

At a School Board meeting this month, Jozokos presented a new policy forbidding snowplow parenting, stating, "We all care about our kids, but there is a point where our care can do harm to their development as young adults." While the policy does not list consequences for snowplow parents — those who remove any obstacles to their children's success — Jozokos wants parents to recognize the difference between teaching and doing the work for the student.

"Just remember we're raising young adults. You don't have to fix everything along the way," said Jozokos as he presented the policy to the Bedford School Board July 8. "I am not reaching into your homes. I am not going after someone helping to edit a paper, I'm just holding a mirror to us."

Jozokos said that snowplow parenting has been noticeable at Bedford High School in recent times. Students would be called in sick on a day that a project is due, or when there's a pop-quiz. Other times, a parent would rephrase a child's essay instead of inviting the student to come up with their own words to make the essay more effective.

School Board member Bill Kassler said in the past, he himself has been accused of being too involved in homework help.

"There is a fine line between teaching and coaching," he said.

Jozokos, who also has children of his own, said that in his own parenting, "I need to teach the student, but not do it for them." Rather than crossing out a word and replacing it, it's better to make the child think for themselves and decide on their own phrasing.

And when it comes to excusing a child's absence because they haven't finished an assignment on time, it inhibits their growth as they enter young adulthood, said Jozokos.

"Integrity, responsibility — it's all connected," said Jozokos. "You just got to ease back as a parent and let things happen. They will be OK."

Another policy change coming to the Bedford High School relates to deadlines for long-range assignments submitted through Google Classroom. Even if a student is sick from school, or is otherwise unable to make it to school, those assignments will still be due on the same day. Traditionally, students who can't make it to school on deadline day have been able to turn in their work on the next day that they are back in school, for full credit.

Jozokos said the wording for this policy came from both students and teachers. The reasoning behind it is that there shouldn't be a problem with a student turning in the work on time if he or she can't physically enter the school that day — the work can be submitted online through Google Classroom. And the definition of what makes a particular assignment "long-range" will be up to the teacher assigning the work.

"The kids, it rubs them the wrong way when the kid sitting next to them is not there and they've been working on this project for a long time and they had it due that day, and those folks didn't," said Jozokos. "If it's due it's due. And if you truly can't make it that day ... just tell me. If you can't turn it in through Google, there's probably a darn good reason."

Jozokos also said that he and two other Bedford High School staff will be working on rethinking the school's discipline policy over the summer. In particular, Jozokos would like to see the suspension policy amended. He said that suspensions lasting several days can be harmful academically, and he would like to find an alternative that would focus more on education and prevention.

"We just have a tough school, not in a bad way, but if you miss three days, five days, 10 days, it's just a lot to make up for," said Jozokos. "It's hard to recover from that."