This is just locker-room banter, but if the baseballs aren’t juiced this season, it must be global warming that is causing a drastic increase in home runs.
Commissioner Rob Manfred says homers jumped from 4,909 last season to 5,610 for no real reason. Manfred says the balls are tested and there’s no change this year.
Ross D. Franklin/Associated PressMost climate experts agree that global warming is a hoax perpetrated by beauty-contest winners to divert attention from their dramatic weight gains, but a few rogue scientists believe it’s real.
Hotter climate means hotter cork, hotter centers in baseballs, longer flight.
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Something is going on. Commissioner Rob Manfred says homers jumped from 4,909 last season to 5,610 for no real reason. Manfred says the balls are tested and there’s no change this year.
Well, either the balls are juicier or the hitters are. If MLB is rabbit-ing the balls, it sure as hell isn’t going to tell the public. That would make Manfred and the team owners look like sneaky manipulators of the integrity of the game.
If MLB is juicing the balls, why? Money. Chicks dig the long ball. Ditto dudes. And kids. Baseball is leaking fan interest, and the home run is Dr. Feelgood for everyone (except pitchers).
More by Scott Ostler
Prediction: Whoever is tweaking the balls behind the scenes (more locker-room banter!) realizes they over-tweaked, and they will dial it back a bit next season. But just a bit. Owners dig long-ball cash.
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They’re not alone. Golf learned long ago that juicier balls make for happier golfers, and giddier galleries. In the NFL, you wonder if the balls are squishier this year, to aid the pa$$ing game. Rusty Tom Brady, 406 yards? Hello! When Brady makes balls softer, it’s a felony. When the league does it for him, it’s smart business.
But back to baseball.
The Giants must acquire thump. In this, the year of the dinger/tater/jonron, their big bopper was Brandon Belt, who belt-ed 17.
It’s fun to “keep the line moving,” but at some point, you must wake up and smell the coffee (mine is juiced).
The Giants were out-
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homered 158-130. Their pitching kept the gap from being disastrous, but the power shortage puts too much pressure on the pitchers.
Paging Dr. Longball.
Scott Ostler is a San Francisco Chronicle columnist. Email: sostler@sfchronicle.com Twitter: @scottostler
