CLEVELAND, Ohio -- It ain't art. Hey, it ain't even cinema. Actually, it would barely pass for low-rent.
But ad agencies would kill to have a spot like this. Of course, they'd spend millions trying to make it look this cheapjack, er, I mean, authentic.
"We just wanted to do something cheesy and campy and have some fun," says Liz Haynes.
You might know her as Leeeeeeeez -- as Cleveland Cavalier center Timofey Mozgov calls her in the commercial they do together for Brew Garden, in Middleburg Heights.
The ad has become a viral smash on YouTube, where it has generated hundreds of thousands of plays.
In it, Mozgov proclaims that Haynes is his "favorite daytime bartender" and then proceeds to rave about her in his thick Russian accent: "You really raise the ceiling."
"It's a joke on both of us being really tall," says Haynes, who has worked at Brew Garden for 13 years.
Mozgov, you see, is seven-foot-one. But Haynes is NOT seven-foot-five, as some have speculated.
"I'm only six-foot-one!" she exclaims. "I was standing on a chair - we were being funny."
But the Vermilion High School grad was a basketball player, no joke.
"I played a little center, but mostly power forward in high school because we had a girl that was six-foot-four," she says. "I'm not self-conscious of my height; I love to wear high heels."
The ad, one of two so far for Brew Garden, has inspired cackles, chortles and guffaws, but also awe because they are so surreal and run so counter to the typical jock ad. They've been raved about by USA Today, Washington Post, Deadspin, ESPN and Yahoo! Sports.
Bleacher Report predicted a movie career for the duo, noting that Timo and Liz's on-screen chemistry could make them the next Bonnie and Clyde:
"He's a tall outlaw on the run, she's a daytime bartender tired of serving the afternoon drunks," the site predicted. "Together they paint the perfect picture of crime: Mozgovalisa."
Bleacher Report mistakenly calls Haynes Lisa, not Liz. I thought the same thing when trying to decipher Mozgov's lines.
"People ask why we had someone who can't speak English well," says Haynes. "I thought it was cool, it makes them more memorable than the same old slick ad you always see."
There was a downside, however.
"Well, the ad took 10 takes ... maybe more," says Haynes. "He was very nice and apologetic, but then he got all his lines all right and I messed up my lines ... Oh well."
Haynes, 32, seems to have an oh-well, carefree spirit to everything, including making her own signature pink-lemonade margarita -- which she turns into a sort of campy performance art.
In between, she discussed aesthetic sensibilities.
"I like funny, cheesy things," adds Haynes, a John Carroll grad who also does marketing work for Chevy dealers. "I'm not ashamed to tell people that I got my start working at Hooters."
The boisterous body language, blonde mane and spirited panache she displays while making margaritas is a bit reminiscent of a Hooters girl crossed with Brigitte Bardot.
"I've heard people say Anna Nicole Smith," she says. "Of course, I prefer Brigitte."
For the record, there is nothing about the ads reminiscent of Jean-Luc Godard, who directed Bardot in "Contempt." The first ad released by Brew Garden features Mozgov swiping a plate away from a table and quoting Austin Carr, "Get that weak stuff outta here."
Mozgov, known for being soft-spoken, was bashful at first. He was even apologetic for eating a big pile of chips that was sitting on the catering table during the shoot.
Gentle Ben was not the role he was cast for, however. Brew Garden owner Pat Potapsky wanted a tough guy - the one Cavs fans have seen on the floor blocking shot and making dunks.
"I was imagining something like Ivan Drago in the 'Rocky' movie," says Potopsky, who directed the ads. "We wanted plates to go flying and have them make a loud noise and then have him speaking broken English to make it quirky."
Quirky is one way of putting it. The ad rolls out enough awkwardness and tension to fill a hostage video, with Mozgov's eyes bouncing from side to side.
"He was reading cue cards," says Haynes. "I thought it added a campy quality to it."
There's also that backward jersey thing. For the record, he didn't turn his head 180 degrees like Linda Blair in "The Exorcist." He IS wearing his jersey backwards; the idea was to underscore that, yes, this is MOZGOV.
The 28-year-old from Saint Petersburg has become a fan favorite since being traded to the Cavaliers on January 7. Part of it is the team's success: The Cavs are 36-12 since his arrival.
But there's also the fish-out-of-water vibe that has made him endearing, like so many foreign players before him. With Mozgov, there is also the ability to laugh at himself - as he did when he accidentally answered a question posed by a Cavs announcer in Russian.
Potopsky imagined that people would find Mozgov charming, locally. He never imagined the national response.
"Deadspin told us they had more hits than when they posted the LeBron James Nike commercial," he says. "People really love him."
The Brew Garden plans to open a second location in July, in Strongsville. It also has more Mozgov spots planned.
While mixing a margarita, Haynes - a big Quentin Tarantino fan - stopped to dream about a 'Kill Bill'-style story.
"Wow, that would be cool," she says. "But I'm not sure if it's in the budget to do Tarantino. Maybe more like one of those Norton Furniture ads. I love those, too."