Almost two years ago, I was the director of investments for a $2 billion real estate portfolio on the 16th floor of a sexy Santa Monica office building overlooking the ocean. Even though I was grateful for the work and team that I had, every night I’d crash on the couch after a long workday feeling drained. Wondering how I would transition from a safe 9-5 job to a life I loved, I knew that I had to create a life that I’d wake up excited for.
I think a lot of people feel stuck where they are in life -- maybe you’re there right now.
It’s true that a less fulfilling day job can take both your energy and time, but what’s holding you back might not just be the long hours you’re putting in at the office.
Today I want to dive a little bit deeper. I’ve learned from my own personal experience and also from many people I’ve worked with internationally, that there’s one very common -- yet not often discussed -- struggle that may be holding you back more than anything else.
A $5 Car
Imagine this: You just bought your favorite luxury car at a dealership in Santa Monica -- say, a Porsche 911 in black or a Rolls Royce Phantom in white.
I walk up to you, slap a five dollar bill in your hand and say, “Here’s $5 for your car.”
Obviously, you’d laugh in my face because you know full well that your leather seated, Bose-speakered piece of heaven is worth way more. You would never settle for anything less than it’s worth.
But, what about you? I’ve seen countless times that the biggest obstacle to a person’s success is not that they don’t have the resources (time, money, energy, etc.) but that they don’t have a clear understanding of their own value. And as a result, people settle for less. They settle for $5 lives, $5 careers and $5 relationships -- even a $5 bank account.
Your Self-Worth
You don’t have to settle for a $5 dollar anything. In fact, I’ve seen people’s lives change in an instant once they recognize the truth of who they really are and the value they truly have to offer.
The truth is, you carry your own gifts, strengths, talents and experiences. There’s no one else like you who can give the world exactly what you have to offer. You’re rare. Like the Mona Lisa or a Jackson Pollack, you’re literally irreplaceable: one of a kind.
Yet, you may be walking through life thinking you’re common, that you have to fit in a box and be like someone else who the world or the media tells you that you should be. But the real truth is, the more you try to be like everyone else, the more you actually diminish your own self-worth and the more common or replaceable you become.
The Secret To Self-Worth
The secret to self-worth lies in a few simple decisions you can make at any time.
1. The first decision is to take back ownership of your self-worth. It’s called self-worth for a reason.
There’s a simple truth I use and speak daily: “Confidence isn’t what other people think about you -- it’s what you think about you.” Once you accept yourself as the true decider of your self-worth and stop allowing what other people think to validate you, you’re instantly in control of your self-worth and ready for the next decision.
2. The second decision is to recognize, celebrate and love the parts of you that make you special, unique and different.
Take a few minutes to take a true inventory of your gifts, talents and unique life experiences. Embrace and be grateful for them. You’ve already overcome so much that has brought you to where you are right now in your life. Fully recognize the wins and achievements you’ve already experienced. The more you become self-aware in these, the more you can lean in and maximize them.
3. As you become more self-aware, the third decision is to make sure you look at your strengths and weaknesses from the right perspective.
Everyone has both strengths and weaknesses. As you see yourself clearly, the secret is to lean into and maximize your strengths and not allow your weaknesses to define you. You can honor and benefit from both.
Many people do the opposite of what is most productive. They are quick to diminish their strengths and emphasize their weaknesses, making themselves feel as though they are never enough. You cannot allow your weaknesses to determine your value. Instead, you can know that you are unique with something truly valuable to give the world right now, leaning into your strengths and learning to use your weaknesses as opportunities to grow.
Remember this: There’s no limit to where you can go because there’s no limit to where you can grow.
Key Takeaways
Self-worth is already available within you now; it’s just a matter of you recognizing it. Your life is already worth more than you can imagine. These three decisions will help you more clearly recognize your value so you no longer accept or settle for $5 lives, $5 careers, $5 fulfillment, $5 health, $5 relationships and $5 bank accounts. It’s time to see yourself as you truly are. Not through the distorted lens of what others think and say about you, but through a self-aware and empowered lens that shows you truth and real perspective. And, as you fully embrace yourself as you are, you will step into a higher level of self-worth as the greatest leader of your own life, your family, your business and in the world.
Remember, this is your life. You live life once, so don’t live it playing small or looking at it through a lens of diminished value. The truth is that you are valuable and have something incredible to give the world. So go out there, live life awake, and live life fully.
