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A Life-Changing Journey Took Lauri de Brito From Television Producer To Baby Producer

This article is more than 4 years old.

Photo courtesy of Lauri de Brito

Lauri de Brito is Co-Director and Vice President of Agency for Surrogacy Egg Donations Solutions, Inc. a business she runs with her business partner, Kathryn Kaycoff, based in California. She once ran the productions for multi-million dollar TV shows, but for the past 15 years she has been doing something a lot more fulfilling. She also is the mother of four children who she calls “the lights of her life”. But it took a long and winding road to get there. I had a chance to speak with Lauri about her path toward success— and a family.

EE: You are running an egg donation and surrogacy business today, but that’s your second career, after being a television producer. What made you make that huge change? 

LD: I went to college to be a television producer because that was my initial dream. I worked for Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous—and ended up as a Director. I worked for HBO, and HBO bought E-Entertainment TV, and my two bosses, who were my mentors came to CA to run E-Entertainment TV, where I took an executive position in my late twenties. But I didn’t like being behind a desk, and so in my early 30s, I left with a development deal.”

EE: Were kids on your radar at that point?

LD: Kids were never a part of my game plan because I was so career-oriented. I worked for Extra, in its early days, before it became too extreme. Still, I didn’t feel great about chasing after John Kennedy Jr., down the streets of New York, despite making a lot of money and traveling. By then, I was 35, and had met my former husband. I got married when I was 37, and he was an only child and wanted children. I agreed. While he was doing his residency (after he completed medical school), we started trying. I got pregnant with my daughter during our first intra uterine insemination (IUI).  I was 38 when I gave birth to her."

EE: Did you continue to work?

LD: Yes. I worked throughout the entire pregnancy. Three months after my daughter's birth, we did another IUI.  I got pregnant but had a miscarriage at 12 weeks.  After that we did a lot of medical interventions. I went from IUI to medicated IUI, to in vitro fertilization (IVF), to IVF with heparin, to IVF  with a donor egg.  We traveled around the country with these infertility treatments in search of support. But each time, doctors everywhere said “if you already carried a child, don’t worry, it’s not you. You will carry again". I continued to get pregnant– only to miscarry each time—8 times. With each infertility procedure, each test, each pregnancy and miscarriage I got more and more depressed.

My friend Kathryn also was a writer/producer/director for reality  in Los Angeles. After she got married at 40, her OB/GYN told her to try "the natural way" for a year. When I heard that, I recommended to her that she should drop her OB/GYN and work with a fertility clinic.  She got pregnant, but then she miscarried. The clinic recommended she use a surrogate. What she learned is that there were only a few agencies around that had surrogates, but they were too expensive. She also felt that most agencies were focused on the money with no regard for the Intended Parent's emotional state. Because Kathryn was trained as a producer, she produced her own surrogacy. Her surrogate gave birth to her identical twin boys at 28 weeks, and she decided not to go back to work producing.

My husband at the time also suggested that we try with a surrogate as well. I used an egg donor and a surrogate, and Kathryn helped me through the process. At the same time, we both weren’t thrilled with our jobs in TV production: the truth is: when you get older, working in TV sucks for a woman. You go from job to job, and if you change your priority from your work to your kids, the salaries go down, and the job offers begin to dissipate.

As type A people, we had both become entrenched in the world of surrogacy and egg donation. Because we understood both sides of the process, and how surrogacy and pregnancy are very emotionally turbulent situations, we decided to help others based on our own journey by starting a company."

Photo courtesy of Lauri de Brito

EE: What is the rate for a surrogate?

LD: The surrogate gets a monthly allowance—generally $200 a month for incidentals. In addition to this and her base fee (between $35K to $80K), she will get very standard things like a one time maternity clothes payment, lost wages when necessary, childcare when necessary, etc. All of her medical expenses will be paid for by the "Intended Parents". Overall, including everything from medical costs, agency fee, surrogate fees, legal costs, egg donor costs (if needed), health insurance, lost wages, maternity clothes, medications, it will range from $145K-$180K.

It is incredibly expensive and the prices takes it out of the realm of normal people, but you would be surprised. Parents and in-laws often help with it (my mother and my mother-in-law helped pay for my surrogate). Some people create funds, others take out loans. A lot of people save their whole life for it: cancer survivors, same sex couples, women born without uteruses. If someone has a dream of having a baby, they will plan for it and find support for it no matter what."

EE: But there are no guarantees, right?

LD: You can’t promise that once your surrogate gets pregnant, everything will be fine. However, you can do genetic screening on the embryos to rule out most of the chromosomal abnormalities and the potential for miscarriages. You can also pick the gender.

We’re experts at this not only because we’ve helped hundreds of people with their surrogacy journeys, but also because we’ve gone through it ourselves. 

A lot of what we do is education. For instance, nobody talks about egg donation, especially 47-year-olds who have twins. I think it’s because women feel like their eggs have failed them, which means they aren’t good enough. Also, when women struggle to get pregnant, people often say “why don’t you just adopt?” I find that very flippant. Why shouldn’t I be able to have a genetic child? Of course there are children out there who need to be adopted. However, there are caveats: You don’t always get healthy babies if you adopt, and the parents can also take the baby back."

EE: Tell me about your family, and how you feel about what you are doing.

LD: I'm divorced now. My kids from the same egg donor and surrogate are turning 13 and 14. I also have a 6-year-old (from a different egg donor and surrogate), and a 20-year-old who is genetically mine, and they are 100% siblings, and I’ve been transparent with all of them about how they were conceived. In fact, my 14 year old daughter wants to take over the business one day.  

Photo courtesy of Lauri de Brito

We used to be television producers and now we produce babies and that’s a much better end result. There is nothing more rewarding or important as bringing a child who is wanted into the world.”

Estelle Erasmus is a journalist and writing coach, and a guest editor for Narratively.com.

For more news follow her on Twitter (@EstelleSErasmus), Instagram (@EstelleSErasmus), Facebook, and on her website.

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