Alesha Dixon: My first trip on a plane was to perform for the son of the Sultan of Brunei

When I was five years old, I told my family I wanted to be an accountant or a stockbroker. I was just regurgitating what my dad had told me to say, but I was a sensible girl. Although I loved performing, I never set my sights on doing it for a living. 

For someone coming from Welwyn Garden City and knowing nothing about the music industry, it seemed like a whimsical dream, something other-worldly, and I knew that to say I wanted to be a singer would have sounded ridiculous. From the age of about 12, I really wanted to be a sports teacher, and I could visualise going to Loughborough University.

But I kept going to dance classes, and out of that came Mis-Teeq. I’d just wanted to do something that made me feel alive, made me feel happy, and gave me a reason to be creative, and I was very fortunate that I genuinely had a passion for performing and wasn’t particularly invested in being famous.

I was never under any illusions that it would all be plain sailing. It’s a tough industry: people say mean things about you, and it’s very hard work. But no matter what job you take in life, it comes with good and with bad, and you just have to make peace with that. As an adult, I’ve always been quite good at that, but I was more of a worrier as a child. If my childhood self could see me today, maybe she’d realise that it’s the moments you don’t see coming that make life so interesting.

I wish I could tell her that failure isn’t something to be terrified of and that obstacles make you stronger. From the outside, parts of my life might look challenging: I didn’t grow up in what I call a 2.4-children family [Dixon’s parents separated when she was four, and she witnessed her mother suffer domestic violence at the hands of her new partner] and my first relationship [a short-lived marriage to MC Harvey] was an unhealthy one. But I’m a better person for the things I’ve been through, even though it would make my younger self sad to see them. Setbacks are the landscape of life, and they’re how you become the best version of yourself.

I’m now in a stable, loving relationship [with the dancer and model Azuka Ononye], and we have two amazing daughters. Not a day goes by without me being grateful for my happy family life, which is something I always hoped I’d have.

After Mis-Teeq, I moved into presenting. Among other things, I presented Strictly Come Dancing, and more recently I’ve been a judge on America’s Got Talent. That’s real pinch-me, dream-come-true stuff, and I know my younger self would feel that way too. I’d love to show her how exciting your 40s can be. I’m not done yet; I’m just getting started.

I also write children’s books: my newest is about a girl who swaps lives with a pop star. When I was growing up, there weren’t many books that included people like me, the only mixed-race girl in school. My protagonist is mixed-race, and I know I would have benefited as a girl from knowing that people like me could appear in fiction, and that everyone should feel important, included and beautiful. I want to make sure my daughters grow up knowing that too.

There’s so much of my career that would amaze my younger self. We never travelled when I was a kid, so the first time I flew in a plane was when Mis-Teeq went to perform at the 18th birthday of the son of the Sultan of Brunei. Working in America would also have been very exciting to my younger self, and she’d probably get on well with Simon Cowell, too – he’s great with kids.

But I remember how I thought and felt as a girl, and I still believe in the values I had then. Working hard, being a good person, focusing on the best side of things. If you behave like that, it will serve you well in life, and I live by that every day.

Interview by Tom Ough

Star Switch, by Alesha Dixon (Scholastic, £6.99) is out now in paperback