Midwife who suffered from PTSD after a traumatic birth reveals how a ‘gentle Caesarean’ with her second child helped her recover
After losing 2L of blood giving birth to her first son, Hannah Harvey, 29, discovered a much less stressful type of delivery that involves the baby pushing itself out
"SITTING on the bus, I peered down at my sleeping baby son Theo.
But as I looked back up, I was on a bed in an operating theatre, blood pouring from a large cut across my stomach.
As I screamed for help, a concerned passenger tapped me on the shoulder, startling me back to reality.
While this flashback in June 2012 was the first, I suffered from them for 18 months following Theo’s birth in April that year.
It had involved a difficult 56-hour labour and ended with an emergency C-section, during which he was dragged out of my stomach with forceps.
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I lost 2L of blood and it took two months to get over the pain of the op.
But worst of all, I felt like I’d failed – as I didn’t have a ‘normal’ birth – which affected how I bonded with Theo.
We couldn’t connect and I didn’t feel that rush of love that I should have felt.
I was lonely and out of my depth.
Joe tried his best to help, even though he was drained and distraught after seeing me go through so much distress, but I needed weekly counselling for 10 months and was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.
Although I was terrified of giving birth again, Joe and I were desperate to give Theo a sibling.
When I found out I was pregnant in October 2014, I opted for a home water birth so I’d feel more relaxed.
But I stated in my birth plan that if I had to have surgery, I wanted a gentle Caesarean.
I’d read up about this type of delivery in medical journals, and it involves the baby pushing itself out with the help of contractions through a C-section incision rather than the vagina.
This type of birthing also focuses on creating a calming atmosphere, so theatre lights are dimmed and relaxing music is played.
Some mums have said it helped them bond with their baby after previous traumatic births.
When my waters broke in June 2015, I stayed at home as long as I could.
But when nothing had progressed after 72 hours, I was told to go to hospital.
There, doctors discovered I was only 2cm dilated.
But the baby’s heart rate was rising and it had also pooed in the womb, which could be a sign of distress.
We decided I needed to have a C-section.
But rather than the panic and fear I felt last time, I was prepared.
Plus, I had Joe and my mum Susan, 52, by my side.
In the serene operating theatre, I had a spinal block to numb me from under the arms downwards, and the doctor made an incision across my stomach and gently pulled my baby’s head out.
With each contraction my son slowly delivered himself, the doctor only helping by wiggling his shoulders free when they got stuck.
Everyone watched in awe as my baby brought himself into the world, and after about five minutes he was out. I was consumed with love for our 9lb 10oz little boy, who we called Albie.
Joe was so happy as he saw how much better the experience was for me.
Looking back at photos of myself when Theo was born, I barely recognise my sad face.
But with Albie it was a wonderful experience, especially as I was back on my feet within nine hours.
It also helped my relationship with Theo heal, as it showed me that I could feel instant love.
I’m not sure if we’ll have any more children, as life is full-on with two active sons.
But if I do get pregnant again, I won’t be scared – I’ll be over the moon."
BTW
- It’s still possible to have a gentle Caesarean without contractions (eg, in elective C-sections). Here, the surgeon will help guide the baby out as gently as possible.
- NHS figures show C-sections now account for around 25% of births compared to 9% in 1980
Hannah's story is included in The Positive Birth Book by Mill Hill (£14.99, Pinter & Martin)