How to bring up baby the VIP way! Having just one nanny is so passé. Now expectant mums like Meghan can call on a small army of helpers

  • Paola Diana is the founder of Nanny & Butler, a high-end domestic staff agency
  • The 43-year-old is not surprised about rumours Meghan Markle hired a doula 
  • Paola helps wealthy families acquire top specialist care for their children 
  • This includes super-tutors, security guards, PAs, chefs and personal trainers

Paola Diana, 43, is the founder of Nanny & Butler, a high-end domestic staff recruitment agency, situated just north of Kensington Palace

Paola Diana, 43, is the founder of Nanny & Butler, a high-end domestic staff recruitment agency, situated just north of Kensington Palace

When it comes to nannies, Paola Diana speaks with the relaxed confidence of someone who knows what she's talk- ing about.

She is not surprised about the rumour that Meghan has hired a doula for the birth this spring. 'She will be a birth attendant, giving Meghan moral support, helping her with her emotions.'

'She will also help with the breathing,' Paola continues.

And Paola should know. For the past ten years she's been the go-to expert for the world's most privileged mothers-to-be.

Paola, 43, is the founder of Nanny & Butler, a high-end domestic staff recruitment agency, situated just north of Kensington Palace. Clients can choose from ten different nationalities of nanny, as well as a plethora of specialist nannies (Norland nannies, triplet nannies, special needs nannies...) as well as Nanny PAs and post-natal trouble-shooting consultants.

But Paola's families — film stars, international bankers, and yes, princesses — also require more esoteric services for their children: super-tutors, security guards (kidnapping is a worry), children's PAs, chefs and personal trainers.

'Business has never been busier,' says Paola, 'Families have fewer children, but they want to give them everything they can, so there's no end to the number of staff women hire to deliver that when they have children.'

According to Paola, after the birth, 'Meghan will probably hire a maternity nurse so she can recover quickly.'

'Doulas are like consultants, coming in for a few hours a day, whereas maternity nurses stay in the house.' And there are night nannies, who spend all night looking after the baby, 'so the mother can sleep. Not sleeping is the most difficult thing when you have a child.'

Maybe Meghan will want to breastfeed? 'That's fine. The maternity or night nurse will bring you the child, you feed it and then you sleep.'

If Meghan has a maternity nurse, she will probably stay for six months to help with weaning.

Meghan may then progress to a bilingual nanny, suggests Paola, 'if she wants to raise her child with another language', and when the child is older, a governess.

The governess is responsible for the education of the children from entrance exam preparation to the correct social etiquette. 'It's a brilliant idea because the governess usually has a teaching background [such as a post-graduate certificate in education (PGCE)] and it's like having a proper teacher in your house, helping your child get the best grades.'

Paola's families ¿ film stars, international bankers, and yes, princesses ¿ require more esoteric services for their children: (left to right: personal trainer, super-tutor, maternity nurse, nanny and private chef)

Paola's families — film stars, international bankers, and yes, princesses — require more esoteric services for their children: (left to right: personal trainer, super-tutor, maternity nurse, nanny and private chef)

Paola started her agency in 2008. She had a high-powered job working for a business school in Rome and needed a nanny for her two small children.

But not just any nanny. She had to be British.

British nannies are popular with rich foreigners owing to their old-style class appeal and ability to teach English.

'To speak English is fundamental for life,' says Paola, who wanted her children to be bilingual. The problem was she couldn't find a suitable nanny.

 Maybe a nanny who is Russian, but also fluent in English and French, someone who can ski, drive, has a degree, and is aged between 30 and 40

She eventually hired one through an agency in London.

Word got out about the family's wonderful nanny, who enforced bedtimes and read Roald Dahl stories in English. Soon her friends began to ask her, 'Can you find one for me, too?' 'Many of our families have really specific requests,' she says.

'Maybe a nanny who is Russian, but also fluent in English and French, someone who can ski, drive, has a degree, and is aged between 30 and 40.'

Perks include a salary of up to £1,500 net a week, foreign travel — skiing in Colorado, private yachts in the Bahamas, safaris in Africa — and meals cooked by a Michelin-starred chef.

Paola suggests Meghan (pictured) may want to have a bilingual nanny - and later a governess

Paola suggests Meghan (pictured) may want to have a bilingual nanny - and later a governess

'Another family is desperate for their child to go to Eton and then Oxford or Cambridge,' she continues. 'The child is only two. So for them, we have provided an educational consultant and have booked the child into the very best nursery and prep school.'

Paola herself had a 'domestic couple', as well as a nanny, when her children were young. Apparently having a 'husband and wife team' is quite common among the well off in Italy.

She cooked, cleaned, did the laundry. He did everything else: the garden, swimming pool, driving, grocery shopping, and also served the food at dinner parties.

Because I am always with the child, and sometimes the child lives in a castle, or villa, I stay there too, in my own apartment, with a garden, swimming pool, everything you could possibly need 

But then she tells me that this level of help is nothing compared to some families. 'They have a housekeeper, butler, house manager, private chef and two nannies.'

'Some nannies work a rota system of one week on; one week off because during the week, the nanny is on call 24 hours a day.

Russian and Arab families like this kind of rota system — any family with very intense social lives who travel a lot. They need to be covered at all times.'

Emma Martin, one of Paola's employees from South London, has worked as a governess for high end families including 'movie stars' and 'princesses', for 15 years.

As a governess, she is high up in the staff hierarchy.

'You are treated a little differently because you are the person looking after the child, teaching, bringing security, because if we travel a lot the child can become insecure.'

'Because I am always with the child, and sometimes the child lives in a castle, or villa, I stay there too, in my own apartment, with a garden, swimming pool, everything you could possibly need.'

Paola says she's not surprised about the rumours Meghan has hired a doula for the birth this spring

Paola says she's not surprised about the rumours Meghan has hired a doula for the birth this spring

'I organise everything for the child, clothes, activities, and take care of them psychologically'.

'When we travel I organise places we can visit. I love to take them to museums, libraries and theatre.

'Of course we read books, and we use the computer, but only to learn something, not to play. I prefer they play in another way. For me, it's always important the child goes outside, so they feel free, they can play, they can feel safe.

 I love to work with families, who find a little time for their children. For some families that can be difficult. I found myself in one family where the mother saw the child for ten minutes in 36 hours

'In winter we go to ski resorts, in summer we go to beautiful hotels with swimming pools.

'The most important thing, though, is social interaction, because sometimes these children are a little alone or isolated. Sometimes it's because of the social position of the parents. Today everyone is very afraid of kidnapping.'

She once worked for a family with six nannies. 'Each child had their own nanny,' she explains.

'I love to work with families, who find a little time for their children. For some families that can be difficult. I found myself in one family where the mother saw the child for ten minutes in 36 hours.'

Jacqueline Fagerholm, 25, is an American nanny on Paola's books, who now looks after two children for a family in London.

'They have a full-time housekeeper so I just focus on the children rather than the dishes and everything else piling up around me.' She earns £40,000 a year. 'They do have a car, but I usually take taxis with the children around London.'

Paola has offices in Rome and Milan, but her headquarters are in London, where Paola, now divorced, lives with her children, aged 19 and 16. She has recently branched out from Nanny & Butler into other companies for the super-rich.

Supreme PA provides administrative staff — executive assistants, secretaries — to high net-worth families. Sigillus is a lifestyle management company helping clients find whatever they want: yachts, 'hard-to-get' cars, unique gifts. For example, a custom-made gold ring with a conch pearl which cost £40,000.

'You take a step back when you see the super yachts and the Lamborghinis and the jets,' says Erren Nathaniel-Gem, 30, one of the company's private chefs from North London.

Paola enjoys the opulent elements of her work. She is tall and glamorous, dressed in Gucci suede loafers and a Gucci jumper: a confection of ruffles, coffee and cream cashmere and embellished pearl necklace.

'I like big statement earrings!' she says. Her Instagram is packed with diamonds and bikinis.

 Discrimination against women is the oldest type of discrimination. It's older than racism

She led a privileged, if difficult, childhood, which inspired her to become a great champion of women. 'My passion in life is being a women's rights advocate,' she says.

She's written a new book about it, Saving The World, which chips away at some of our oppressive received ideas about women.

But much of Paola's business is built on women doing 'women's work' — cleaning, child-rearing.

She has more than 30,000 candidates on her database, the majority women. How does she square that with her feminism?

'It's complex, but we are very careful these workers are well paid and respected.' She goes on; 'It's very important the nanny is happy. I say to the families, raise her salary. Give her a gift, give her a bonus. Value her, don't treat her badly because if she's sad, your children won't be happy.'

Paola says she 'loves Meghan' and thinks she will be 'a wonderful mother' 

Paola says she 'loves Meghan' and thinks she will be 'a wonderful mother' 

Besides, she says, financial independence is important for women. 'It gives you freedom. If your marriage is unhappy, you can leave your husband, take the children, find another flat, hire a lawyer, all these things.'

She says 80 to 90 per cent of her clients are working mothers; 'the rest, even if they don't work have very intense lives. They might do a lot of charity work, events, travelling, so they need help.'

'Discrimination against women is the oldest type of discrimination. It's older than racism.'

She is not afraid to speak her mind. And is interested in becoming active in politics in this country. It's the sort of feminist-friendly humanitarianism that Meghan has shown in the past too.

'I love her, I think she will be a wonderful mother,' says Paola. As for whether the royal mother-to-be has approached her for her services: 'I couldn't possibly say.'

  • Saving The World. Women The 21st Century's Factor For Change, by Paola Diana, is published by Quartet Books, £12.

 

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