Photo vy Keith Allison
Minnesota Vikings
I’ve been nervous all week about this game on Sunday and I’ve read everything there is to read about it already. So I thought maybe I would reassure myself with a crazy religious Danish philosopher. Have you ever read Soren Kierkegaard’s Fear and Trembling? It’s Kierkegaard’s famous exegesis of the Abraham and Isaac story, and he develops this proto-existentialist parable about the knight of faith vs. the knight of infinite resignation as an analogy for believing in God.
Basically, think of a 19th century version of The Bachelor, where the knight of faith believes that he’s going to get the princess whereas the knight of infinite resignation is full of angsty self-doubt, and he doesn’t ever really believe that he’s going to get the princess, which, you know, sometimes works on princesses. But Kierkegaard’s point is that if you steadfastly believe it’s going to happen, when it actually does happen that’s the only way to truly experience total divine ecstasy.
So that made me feel better for a while. Then I realized my worried brain still needed more internet data points, so I texted a bunch of people and asked them for their #sprots prediction.
Doomtree’s Lazerbeak: Trying to stay positive. VIKES win in OT after Drew Brees loses right leg.
Doomtree’s Dessa: No, do you?
National Geographic’s Dan Buettner: I would say the Vikings. Because I don’t even know what the Saints are.
My Mom: I hate the Saints. Vikings all the way. I think the Saints play dirty.
Doomtree’s Sims: I’m hurting. 2009 is in my heart. I’m trying to be optimistic. I think we CAN win.
Mpls.St.Paul Magazine food editor Stephanie March: I say SKOL! It’s a win.
Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon: I have a weird feeling Minnesota goes all the way to the Super Bowl.
Fog’s Andrew Broder: Haven’t watched a second of football this year but my gut tells me we make an epic playoff run to the get to the Super Bowl and blow it on a missed field goal, blown call or fumble. Epic Vikings style tragedy.
Uproxx’s Steven Hyden: Hope it’s the Saints.
JoLynn Garnes: I think we can get ‘er done as long as we don’t fuck ourselves. But it’ll be close, 24-21.
Lola Red PR’s Alexis Walsko: Drew Brees is a force but I love and support our team! Vikings all the way.
Distilled’s Rob Perez: Vikes at home should be theirs to lose.
New Orleans Times-Picayune’s Brett Anderson: Vikes down by two with seconds left. They have the ball and a chip shot field goal to win. Kicker’s foot falls off as he bends knee to meet the ball.
Mark Mallman: My prediction is Vikings.
First Avenue’s Sonia Grover: I don’t want to jinx it.
Midnite Express’ Joe Rainey: Seeing how our defense ended the season and everyone is healthy defensively, I see us shutting them down. Carolina bottled up their running game, but couldn’t slow the pass down. We can do the both. I think they had an offensive lineman go down last game so that’s a huge advantage for us. It’s all right there for us to grab. We have the defense to make a run. 27-10 Vikes.
Sarah Brumble: Serious question: is Blair Walsh still on the team?
StoLyette’s Ben Clark: I’m gonna say 27-17 Vikes.
My upstairs neighbor Jessica: I think V.
Solid Gold’s Zach Coulter: Shoot. If Xavier Rhodes is full health I say Vikes 24-17.
Kent Hrbek: ?????? No clue who this is.
Tapes ‘n’ Tapes manager Keri Wiese: I can barely say this out loud, but I honestly think they are going to win the Super Bowl. This year is different. And the NFL is 100% rigged. The story is too good.
Chuck Klosterman: I think the Pikes win convincingly. HOWEVER, if they go to the fourth quarter and the game is still real tight, Pikes lose.
Sports Illustrated’s Steve Rushin: I think the Vikings will beat them. I think they’ll go to the Super Bowl. I know there is a banana peel to slip on, I just don’t see it coming yet.
Mpls.St.Paul Magazine Editor-in-Chief Jayne Haugen Olson: I’m only going by gut. We’re gonna win.
Fimoculous’ Rex Sorgatz: 20-9. We hold Brees to three field goals. Also, I lose my mind.
Barb Brockley: Well after reading your article I am leaning towards the Saints. J What’s the spread?
Nick Swardson: Ugh.
Har Mar Superstar: Hoping Vikes! But Brees is a playoff monster, but who knows? Keenum could be too.
Marijuana Deathsquads’ Ryan Olson: Vikings by 14.
