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2:39How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You're Having Sex With HimONION

3:36Year In Review: 2012ONION

1:50How To Get Your Son To Remove His Halloween CostumeONION

0:45Pope Francis Resigns3/13/2013ONION

3:10Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be ...1/31/2012ONION

1:55The Onion Introduces: The Book Bjorn10/22/2012ONION

2:22Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking WorkONION

3:05Brad Pitt Decides To Grow Out Forehead HairONION

1:11Mayan Word For 'Apocalypse' Actually Translates More Accurately As ...ONION

2:42Catholic Teen's Life Ends At ConceptionONION

2:30Lifeguard Hoping To Make Up For Last SummerONION

3:06SeaWorld Unveils New 20 Whales Stuffed In Pool Show2/8/2013ONION

2:37Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No KeyboardONION

1:09In Wake Of Tragedy, Americans Demand Reform Of Everything, AnythingONION

1:53Judge Rules White Girl Will Be Tried As Black AdultONION

2:05VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut SpillONION

1:21Couple Making Out At Bus Stop Like It's Fucking ParisONION

2:45Study Exposes Risks Of Conducting Research While DrivingONION

1:44New Ad Urges Hipsters To Go To Applebee's IronicallyONION

2:19Desperate Earth Begins Accelerating Rotation In Effort To Hurl ...ONION

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