One Selfish Shellfish Against Earth Day
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o.b.® tampons is proud to be environmentally conscious and applicator free! But not everyone agrees that applicators are wasteful. This grumpy crustacean has a few things he wants to get off his chest.
"I hear these rumors. I hear these nasty rumors going around, like tampon applicators are wasteful? Un-earth friendly? 'Who needs applicators?' Well I'll tell you who, ME! Obviously people who use applicator free o.b. have no idea what I got going on over here."
"Isn't she a beauty? Solid like a 2 ton Manatee."
"My crabfather, he started this development when I was just an egg. And now we've cornered the market. I fish out thousands of these plastic beauties each year, for free! I got big plans. I plan to cover this whole marina in the next 2 years and from there, who knows, maybe Atlantic City!"
"This here is the future; It takes 500-1,000 years for these bad boys to break down. They're built to last. So, enough with these waste rumors. You think you're gonna mess with my empire? It'll be over my empty shell."
"Aye, woh, I'm workin' down here. "
"Can someone get me a cup of coffee? In a Styrofoam cup."