HEAT WAVE, California – (Satire News) – The largest taco chain franchises in the nation, and in fact in the entire solar system, has just made a stock-raising announcement. Taco Bell spokesperson, Paco Vistalarga-Waywater, 51, told the assembled food media that Taco Bell has signed an agreement with Chinese leader Xi Jinping, which will allow the taco chain to open up 400 Taco Bells in the Republic.