Levin Report

Donald Trump Jr.’s Girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Thinks Online Dating Is for Losers

Guilfoyle had some harsh words for the conservative protesters who booed the hell out of her and Trump Jr. on Sunday.
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Kim Guilfoyle poses with Donald Trump Jr. in February 2019.Manny Carabel/Getty Images

Sometimes in life we’re privy to moments that are too beautiful for this world, moments so momentous that they will be talked about by historians for years to come and deserve their own Wikipedia entries at the very least. In the last few days, Donald Trump Jr. has given us two of them.

First was an appearance on The View to publicize his new book, Triggered, which begins with the premise that “a victimhood complex has taken root in the American left,” and then spends hundreds of pages bitching about how mean liberals have been to his family and how unfair his life is. On the daytime talk show, Donald Trump the Younger battled with the five hosts and got booed by the audience. On the topic of his decision to out the alleged whistle-blower, his girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle, told the audience she was in the bathroom when the whole thing went down and then said this: “I left you alone for 10 minutes; what happens when mamacita’s gone?”

Then on Sunday the first boy and his mother-girlfriend stopped by the University of California, Los Angeles, to pimp the tome. There they presumably thought they’d be in friendlier company, as the event was put on by conservative group Turning Point USA and moderated by terrible human Charlie Kirk. They presumably thought the room would be a safe space to drag the traitors who won’t just let the president commit as many impeachable offenses as he wants, and that they’d receive nothing but adulation for owning the libs. Unfortunately for Donfoyle—yes, that’s their couple portmanteau, spread the word—things didn’t pan out that way! And not because, per the thesis of Triggered, liberals hate free speech.

Instead the duo received deafening boos by the president’s own supporters after it was announced that the question-and-answer session had been canceled. Despite the fact that the heckling was reportedly coming from people in Make America Great Again hats and other pro-Trump gear, the first son apparently initially assumed it was from left-leaning protestors, because he’s not very smart. “Name a time when conservatives have disrupted even the furthest leftist on a college campus,” he told the crowd. “It doesn’t happen that way. We’re willing to listen.” After an audience member quite reasonably yelled, “Then open the Q&A!” Junior responded, “See what I mean?” (Answer: No, no one did.) “And that is the problem. And the reason oftentimes it doesn’t make sense to do the Q&A is not because we’re not willing to talk about the questions, ‘cause we do. No. It’s because people hijack it with nonsense looking to go for some sort of sound bite. You have people spreading nonsense, spreading hate, trying to take over the room.”

From there the shouts of “Q&A!” grew louder, at which point Donfoyle had had enough. Standing up to make her point, Guilfoyle told the group, “You’re not making your parents proud by being rude and disruptive and discourteous. We are happy to answer a question. Respect the people around you so that they can hear.” After they continued to demand an opportunity to ask questions, she really brought the heat. “Let me tell you something,” she snapped. “I bet you engage and go on online dating because you’re impressing no one here to get a date in person.”

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It’s not entirely clear what Guilfoyle meant, but we think she was attempting to imply that the people booing her and Trump Jr.—who is apparently in a love triangle with his own father—are trolls who can’t get dates in real life. Shortly thereafter, she and Trump Jr. walked off the stage. The president’s adult son has not yet commented on the humiliating imbroglio, but presumably he’ll mention it in Triggered 2, in a passage similar to the one in which he likens the many “sacrifices” his family has made to those of people who’ve literally been killed in battle.

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Rudy Giuliani is thinking things

Like, incredibly, that he should start a podcast about impeachment, per CNN:

Rudy Giuliani is considering reentering the impeachment fray by launching a podcast to provide impeachment analysis of the public hearings in the House of Representatives scheduled for later this week. Giuliani was overheard discussing the plans with an unidentified woman while at a crowded New York City restaurant, Sant Ambroeus, over lunch on Saturday. The conversation, which lasted more than an hour, touched on details including dates for recording and releasing the podcast, settling on a logo, and the process of uploading the podcast to iTunes and other podcast distributors.

At present, Giuliani is under criminal investigation for his business relationship with Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman, the two businessmen arrested as they tried to leave the country, who reportedly helped the former mayor of New York with his campaign to pressure Ukraine to investigate Joe Biden. So, truly, this would be a spectacular time, for us as listeners, for him to get into the podcasting business. “Many Americans want to hear directly from Rudy Giuliani,” Christianné Allen, a spokeswoman for Giuliani, told CNN. “He is considering several options, in consultation with Jay Sekulow and the legal team, regarding the best way to move forward. As of now, they have not decided on the strategy but are getting very close.” It’s not clear if Giuliani, who is known for butt-dialing reporters and accidentally leaving voicemails in which he discusses his need for cash, will handle the technical aspects of the podcast, but here’s hoping.

Trump loses another tax return battle

For those of you keeping up at home, this is the third time within a month a court has told the president to sit down and shut up re: his not-at-all persuasive arguments that his tax returns should be kept private:

A federal judge on Monday dismissed President Donald Trump’s lawsuit to prevent the House Ways and Means Committee from utilizing a recently passed New York law providing the panel an avenue to pursue his state tax returns. Judge Carl Nichols of the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia ruled that his court was not the proper jurisdiction to sue the New York officials named in the lawsuit, leaving open the option that Trump do so in New York.

In his lawsuit, Trump sued to preemptively block the House Ways and Means Committee from requesting the returns, New York Attorney General Letitia James from enforcing the law, and to stop the New York Department of Taxation from furnishing the documents. Trump argued his lawsuit was necessary to prevent his state returns from being disclosed to Congress before a court could hear his opposition.

The House Ways and Means Committee, chaired by Rep. Richard Neal, D-Mass., has not requested Trump’s state returns through the new New York law.

Trump had also attempted to argue that the Ways and Means Committee is in cahoots with the State of New York, which the judge was not buying. “Nowhere in his Amended Complaint does Mr. Trump allege the existence of a conspiracy; in fact, the word ‘conspiracy’ does not even appear in his pleadings,” Nichols wrote. Last week, a federal appeals court ruled in a separate case that Trump’s returns must be turned over to the Manhattan District Attorney, who subpoenaed them from the president’s longtime accounting firm, after Trump’s lawyers attempted to argue that he cannot be prosecuted or even investigated for any crimes he may have committed while in office.

WeWork is looking for a new CEO

And for some reason reportedly thinks this guy is the one to right the ship:

WeWork is in discussions with T-Mobile US Inc. Chief Executive John Legere to take over leadership of the troubled office-sharing start-up, according to people familiar with the matter…. Like Mr. Neumann, Mr. Legere is known as an unconventional executive. The 61-year-old has spent the past six years running T-Mobile with a pugnacious style, trashing his rivals on Twitter as “Dumb and Dumber,” using foul language and dressing in the company’s signature magenta. He has turned around T-Mobile’s operations, luring millions of cellphone customers from larger players and initiating the pending takeover of Sprint.

Obviously, from a comedy comedy perspective, this would be a great hire, though it’s unclear how shareholders feel about it.

Elsewhere!

Deval Patrick, Ex-Governor of Massachusetts, Is Considering White House Bid (NYT)

Pentagon official says OMB offered no explanation for withholding aid to Ukraine in mid-July despite questions (WSJ)

CBS Chief Will Get $100 Million Severance and Still Keep His Job (Bloomberg)

Selloff in Complex Investments Flashes Warning for Junk Bonds (WSJ)

Apple Cofounder Says Goldman’s Apple Card Algorithm Discriminates (Bloomberg)

Surprise: Trump’s trade wars are hurting farmers (Washington Post)

Court denies Iowa inmate’s claim that life-sentence should end because he briefly died (WTHR)

Chocolate Berlin Wall destroyed (AP)

Bricks of “very pure” cocaine keep washing up on French beaches (NYP)

More Great Stories From Vanity Fair

— The strangely familiar nightmare of impeaching Trump
Clues to the identity of Anonymous, who wrote the explosive White House op-ed
— Former Fox News staffers demand to be released from their NDAs
— Why crypto-crooks have their sights set on Iceland
— A sustained booing reveals Trump’s true face
— From the archive: A portrait of Kim Jong Un, part man, part myth

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