She didn't know much about her family. A DNA test revealed secrets she never imagined

Shari Keith got the results of her online DNA test and looked at the name listed as her closest relative. It was one she didn’t recognize: Suzanne Kalfus.

The next day, Keith got an email from the woman. Would Keith like to know how they were related? Yes, Keith replied.

They connected by phone. Kalfus' first question: Was Keith born in Hartford, Connecticut? Yes, in 1956, to a homemaker and a businessman.

Was Dr. David Robinson the obstetrician Keith's mother consulted? No, Keith said. But it was Dr. Marvin Grody, who worked in the same medical building.

“Do you want me to go on?” Kalfus asked. “This might be a little difficult.”

Keith had taken the DNA test to learn more about her roots. Her husband, Tom, could trace his family back generations, but she knew little about her small family, her parents and a younger brother. Her mom's sister had adopted children, so she had no biological cousins.

Keith's childhood was not happy. Her mother had been verbally abusive. Her dad was gentle and kind, but he didn’t intervene.

She was cherished by her paternal grandparents who lived so close that she could ride her bike to their house. “The sun rose when I walked in the door,” she said.

Kalfus’ question rattled her.

The disclaimer on the DNA test had warned: “You may discover unanticipated facts about yourself or your family when using our services that you may not have the ability to change.”

'Not what I expected'

Kalfus’ explanation of how they were related was difficult, and complicated.

“I wanted to know where I came from,” Keith said. “This was not what I expected.”

Kalfus and Keith were half-sisters. They were the result of artificial insemination. The sperm donor was a man who had worked in the same medical building as their mothers’ doctors.

Keith was stunned. But it didn't end there.

In the year and a half since a DNA test had revealed she was born as the result of artificial insemination, Keith learned that she had five half-siblings, all sisters.

Now Keith waited at her Ahwatukee Foothills house to meet one of her half-sisters for the first time. She was nervous.

She hadn’t known artificial insemination was a practice in the 1950s. Her research told her it often was done in secret. Her parents took that secret to their graves. The sperm donor also was dead.

This woman who shares half her DNA was her link to learning about her biological father, and herself.

Judy Greenfield was the youngest of Walter Greenfield’s three daughters with his first wife. He also had a daughter with his second wife. Then there is Kalfus and Keith, both the result of sperm donation.

Walter Greenfield’s family had known he had been a sperm donor while attending New York University. They didn't know he had continued to donate while working as a research and development chemist in the same building where Keith's mom's obstetrician practiced.

Keeping a secret for a lifetime

As soon as Greenfield arrived from Denver, Keith said, “I feel like I know you.” Greenfield felt the same.

Keith looks like Greenfield’s father, she said. “Our father,” Greenfield corrected herself.

Keith, 62, is an artist and Greenfield, 60, an object conservator. They both enjoy hiking. They’re both bad with computers. They have the same brown eyes.

Greenfield had brought pictures.

“That’s our father,” she said. The man has a pleasant face, a shock of white hair and big glasses. Keith wasn't sure she saw the resemblance.

Greenfield told Keith about her family, including her paternal grandfather, who was a pickle maker in Manhattan.

Keith had so many questions.

Her discovery doesn’t change how Keith thinks of the man who raised her. He’s her dad.

She wonders if her existence helped pave the way for today's fertility treatments.

Mostly, she wonders if her mother went through so much to have her, why wasn't she more caring? 

“What does keeping a dark secret do over the course of someone’s lifetime?” Keith said. She’ll never know.

“Growing up, I always wished I had a sister," Keith told Greenfield. "I thought maybe she would understand me."

Keith's small family is bigger now. She wonders how much more it will grow.

Reach Bland at karina.bland@arizonarepublic.com. Sign up for her newsletter here. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter @KarinaBland.

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