As the coronavirus pandemic freezes activities in Connecticut, many older residents around the state are feeling scared, confused and isolated.
No more dinners with friends or hugs from grandchildren. Bridge games and walk-in medical appointments are canceled. Coffee shops, where stories are told and political arguments formulated, are closed.
Even many full- or part-time jobs, offering much-needed income and interaction, have disappeared or have moved online until the crisis subsides.
“During today’s online staff meeting I found myself near tears,” Martha Banzhaff, 75, of Tariffville, who directs the South Congregational Church choir in Granby, wrote in an email. “I guess the strains of isolation, even though I’m not actually alone, really are getting to me.”
The CDC has reported that COVID-19 fatalities in the United States range between 10% and 27% in people 85 or older, and drops to between 3% to 11% among people aged 65 to 84 years.
Reflecting worldwide trends, Connecticut seniors, particularly those in their 80s, make up the majority of deaths from COVID-19 in the state — a terrifying reality for some who fall in that age group.
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The impact of disruption
More than 575,000 Connecticut residents — roughly 16% of the population — are 65 and older, according to a 2017 Connecticut Office of Legislative Research study.
“There is an increase in the physical isolation across the board for seniors in congregate housing,” said Dr. Neha Jain, a geriatric psychiatrist and assistant professor at UConn Health. In addition to the fear of becoming infected by COVID-19, depression in seniors stems from “being completely physically isolated except for the absolute bare essentials, like somebody dropping food at your door.”
Social distancing similarly affects older people who are out in the community, many of whom rely on the existing social fabric — family, companions, community services — for food and medication deliveries, in-house cooking and cleaning, even basic personal needs like bathing and dressing.
Since the outbreak, some of those services continue to function, but in very different ways, said Dr. Karina Berg, a geriatrician and associate professor of medicine at UConn Health’s Center on Aging.
“They may not always have the same person that they’ve known for a while coming into their house, because people are getting sick or people are being quarantined,” Berg said. “Older adults like structure and schedules. They rely on having bingo Tuesday and Thursday, going shopping on Saturday, seeing their family on Sunday. When things are disrupted, it can have a huge impact, much more so, I think, than for younger people.”
Disruptions to long-established routines have left many seniors, particularly those without spouses or partners, grasping for some sense of normalcy.
Yvonne Morton, a hotel receptionist in her 70s who lives in Hartford, said her adult children check on her frequently, reminding her to stay indoors and to wash her hands constantly. She worries about taking out the trash and bringing in the mail. She misses her co-workers at the hotel.
“It’s quite depressing when you need to take care of a medical issue and you can’t because everything is on hold,” Morton said. “I can’t work, because my daughter wants me to stay inside, which I should anyway. I’m an active person, so it’s very, very hard. I’m really stressed out.”
Kate Smith, 55, cares for her housebound mother, Shirley Yeames, 96, in West Hartford. The two women have remained largely isolated since the start of the outbreak, with only jigsaw puzzles, magazines and television shows to help pass the time.
” ‘I know they are not going to help me, that’s for sure, too old … Can I call 911 and have someone direct me where I should go?’ All sentences from mom,” Smith wrote in an email. “She doesn’t really understand what is going on right now, and I am happy for that fact.”
Smith was “nervous” and “scared for mom,” while struggling to keep her mother occupied, stealing a few minutes for her own self-care, “an hour here or there for lunch [or] dinner with a friend,” she wrote. “Every half-hour thinking that when I go get groceries or for a walk, I could bring the virus back to her. How likely is that? Will my mom get sick?”
Growing up, Yeames shared stories about living through the Great Depression. Now, Smith worries about her own finances.
“I have saved money my whole life, since mom said I would eventually need it for a rainy day,” Smith wrote. “The rainy day is here, and it is here as a tidal wave.”
Staying social online
COVID-19 hasn’t stopped older citizens from staying in touch with others, either online or on the telephone.
Joanne Moran, 82, of West Hartford, remembers growing up in a household with a party-line telephone, which allowed three or more people to participate at the same time. (Her father was a physician, and needed it for work.)
“You were only allowed to use a certain number of minutes,” she said. “I’m not sure how it was enforced.”
When the pandemic arrived in Connecticut, Moran became a connector, reaching out to people she thinks might be experiencing extreme feelings of isolation.
“I’ve been a widow for 31 years,” Moran said. “I think it’s using a past experience that wasn’t so pleasant as an example of what you can do, and not to focus on what you can’t do.”
Jain, the geriatric psychiatrist, encourages seniors to use Facebook and other social media to stay connected. She believes that younger people — from a safe distance — could use this event to teach their grandparents how to make FaceTime calls.
Social distancing, Jain said, is really just physical distancing. “We actually want to keep the social part, especially for our seniors, as much as possible,” she said. “So if you call them, call them more often.”
Other creative responses from the community — drive-by hellos, Girl Scouts sending cards to assisted-living facilities, yard signs posted with positive slogans or hearts, good old-fashioned snail mail — also do wonders for older folks who are cooped up.
“Sometimes I’m surprised by [seniors’] stories, how they managed and how they came through difficult times,” Jain said. “If anybody is equipped to deal with this, our seniors still are. There is a lot of resilience. There’s a lot of wisdom. I think they can do this.”
‘At this point in the game, I’d be happy to see people I don’t even like.’
On Wednesday, Dr. Jaclyn Olsen, an assistant professor of medicine at the UConn Center on Aging, worked the phones at UConn Health’s COVID-19 Call Center, where nurses, internists and infectious disease specialists provide guidance to employees, patients, students and the community.
Two days earlier, the center fielded more than 150 calls.
“Concerns are varied, but most center around if a caller’s set of particular symptoms warrant testing, what to do if people feel they have potential symptoms of or exposure to COVID-19, and how to obtain COVID-19 testing,” Olsen wrote in an email.
Olsen stressed the importance of physical exercise, communicating with friends and family, learning new skills, making art and checking in with health care providers, even if only through an online portal or by phone.
“Older adults are exceptionally creative and constantly impress me with their adaptability and resilience,” Olsen said. “This pandemic is a scary situation for all, regardless of age. Social isolation, and loneliness specifically, is a huge concern for aging adults even outside of a pandemic setting.”
Isolation felt normal to Jill Price, a 76-year-old divorced woman from Newington who lives with her cat, Downton. At first, anyway.
“And then just a week passed by, and I thought: God, this is going to go on for a long time,” Price said. “I’m used to being on my own, but I’m socially active. … At this point in the game, I’d be happy to see people I don’t even like.”
Calvin Vinick, 90, of Manchester, said the spread of the coronavirus has interrupted daily life for he and his wife, Elaine. “I’m able to withstand it,” he said. “I’ve been cheating and going to a grocery store now and then, and I’m very much aware that I should be keeping my distance.”
Vinick, a survivor of the 1944 Hartford Circus Fire, stays busy doing research for a book he’s writing. The couple’s son, who lives a mile away, helps out with shopping and chores.
“He’s been keeping his distance from us, although he was here yesterday,” Vinick said.
Trying to stay positive
Berg, the geriatrician, said seniors should consider limiting the amount of time they spend watching television.
“Many older people keep the TV on all day for company, but this could be a terrible plan right now,” Berg said.
After moving back to West Hartford several years ago, Nancy Foster, 81, started knitting hats and scarves, which she gave to friends to distribute to homeless shelters in Hartford. She also knits hats and blankets for premature babies in NICU units.
These days, Foster is knitting an afghan blanket. “I’m probably watching too much TV while I’m knitting, but I also read,” she said.
A big loss for Foster, whose adult daughter also lives in West Hartford, is not being able to go to church.
“Our churches are all closed down, so the last couple of Sundays I just listened to our minister’s sermon online, but that is a little limiting,” she said. “You can’t interact with anybody anymore. That’s the biggest thing, I think.”
Hospice volunteer David Baldwin, 79, of Old Saybrook, makes bereavement phone calls to relatives of deceased individuals.
Lately, Baldwin said, “it’s been tougher on these phone calls, not so much from the grieving of the loved ones. They’re saying, ‘You know, I was doing pretty good three months ago, but now with all this time spent by myself without my spouse, I’m having a harder time.’ They’re feeling very isolated.”
Baldwin and his wife, Mary, 78, also try to limit their exposure to television news. They focus on staying positive, and try to pass that message along to their three children and seven grandchildren, even if they can’t do it in person.
“It’s so easy with all the bad news today to fall into a lot of depression and isolation,” Baldwin said. “We’re trying to really maintain contact with our family and friends with Facebook and emails and phone calls so that we keep our whole family together.”
Michael Hamad can be reached at mhamad@courant.com.
