You can sum up Slipknot's music festival in one word -- and it isn't Knotfest

Moist.

The best way to describe Slipknot’s Knotfest Roadshow 2019 is “moist.” One word sums it up. If you’re curious, though, for more details, read on friends, because there are more than just sweaty metal fans here to discuss.

The crowd was dressed as you would expect. Lots of black shirts, which, if you think about it, is about the dumbest thing you could wear to a concert in Phoenix, Arizona, that started when it was 109 degrees outside. There were also all kinds of Slipknot shirts to be seen before even entering the gates. Too many, to be precise. Didn’t anyone get the memo that it’s really not too cool to wear the band's T-shirt to their show? The only thing worse is when the band wears their own merch, but we’ll get to that later.

The first thing I saw as I got out of my car and started walking towards the gates was three dudes shotgunning beers. Well, two of the guys were shotgunning some Silver Bullets and one was just egging the other two on while calmly drinking a beer of his own. He must’ve been the driver. I don't want to date myself, but it's been a while since I've seen someone shotgun a beer and if I'm being honest, it made me happy. It made me think I might just be in for a good time. 

The lines were long to get into the venue at 5:20 p.m. or so, which was good for Poland’s Behemoth who were set to start at 5:30 p.m. Many of the Slipknot faithful had read the Ak-Chin Pavilion web page which said guests were allowed to bring unopened water into the amphitheater. A lot of us, though, did not bring water. We’re Arizonans. We can handle it, right?

Wrong.

I'm a native Arizonan. Sometimes we fool ourselves and think, “Oh, it's not gonna be that big of a deal. 109 is nothing.”

109 degrees Fahrenheit is not nothing and this was not lost on the dudes in Behemoth, who exited the stage at least five times each during their short set. I certainly hope someone was pouring ice cold water down the back of their black shirts when they disappeared between their heavy, bludgeoning songs. Behemoth are certainly not for the weak at heart, but they were pretty darn good.

At one point, Behemoths lead singer and guitarist Nergal (Adam Darski), who was wearing some pretty hilarious stage makeup, told the crowd the heat was no excuse to just stand there as they played in front of a huge banner featuring  an upside-down cross over an image that looked something like a United States flag. There were lots of shouts of “Hail Satan” being thrown around, too, and devil-horn hand signals from the crowd.

All in all, I think I may have liked Behemoth the best of all the bands. That is either a good or bad sign, depending on how you look at it. They weren’t the most interesting band I’ve ever heard, but they were heavy and sort of had a little Eyehategod thing going on, at times, that put a little hardcore punk into their aggressive yet plodding sound.

Their set was the right length for the heat and it probably would have been much creepier if it hadn’t been so bright outside when they played. The afternoon sun to the west kept things nice and toasty. Behemoth had a pretty cool setup with what looked like black metal cobras connected to their mic stands and some very satanic looking for shapes and symbols underneath the cobras. Think "Game of Thrones" meets the first Conan movie with the Governator and you get my drift.

Up next was Gojira from France, who entered to what sounded like a distorted didgeridoo. They were loud and tight and had a lot of energy. The crowd really ate them up. They had much more stage presence than Behemoth and a different style, so it was a nice change of pace. After the dark imagery of the preceding band, Gojira came off looking positively upbeat.

Gojira had a really strong bass sound, which was lacking for Behemoth, whose bass was a little lost in the mix. You could also see the band’s awesome drummer, Mario Duplantier, quite well and he’s pretty great to watch. While a lot of the songs were pretty similar to each other, “Backbone” from 2005’s "From Mars To Sirius" was epic. It was at this point that I did my first lap around the venue to see if anyone had passed out yet. It was 7 p.m. and all was, apparently, well.

Did I mention that it was hot? Well, if I did, I did not do it justice. By the time Gojira finished, the impact of all the alcohol that was being consumed started to become apparent. There were quite a few slightly disheveled looking folks walking around holding these crazy red or blue drinks that came in what looked like a small fishbowl. At first, the people holding these things looked pretty happy, but as you got up close, they also looked a little overwhelmed.

There is a certain power in the anonymity of walking around 15,000 people by yourself. I started to feel the pulse of the crowd as I weaved my way around, mentally taking notes on what I was seeing. Even though we were hot and sweaty and moist, there was a positive vibe in the air. A camaraderie, if you will, that said, “We will make it. We will survive!”

Prior to entering, I put the over/under on 30 people I would see passed out by the time it was dark and I was wrong. I only counted about 17. Could there have been 13 more in the densely packed crowd on the lawn? Possibly, but I was happy to be wrong.

Maybe it was the fishbowl drinks keeping people awake? After the sun went down, those things had lights in the bottom of the bowl, so they became makeshift lanterns.

Volbeat took the stage next and this might be unpopular, but they suck. I think I was the only one that thought so as I looked around at the, dare I say it, joyful crowd who was eating up what the Danish band had to offer by the spoonful. Volbeat covered Johnny Cash’s “Ring Of Fire” for their third song and it just got worse from there.

Lead singer Michael Poulsen does have a great voice and the band, which sort of looks like an uber-heterosexual version of Turbo Negro, was tight, but they just suck the life right out of rock and roll. Boring, bland, and weak, Volbeat’s songs were the perfect thing to make Slipknot look weird and edgy. They played a song called “Pelvis On Fire” from their new record, "Rewind, Replay, Rebound," that sounded like a combination of Disney metal and bad rockabilly. The crowd ate it up, though, so what do I know?

Poulsen had a Volbeat patch on the back of his vest, so that sealed the deal. Musicians … a word of advice, don’t get high on your own supply until the band is no longer active. I know I won’t ever go see Volbeat again unless I have to. If they were an ice cream parlor, they would be 31 Bad Flavors.

After a long break to set up their elaborate stage, Slipknot came out a little after 9 p.m. If you haven’t seen Slipknot before, they put on quite an impressive show. There is so much to watch that, at first, you don’t know where to put your eyes. There are eight people on stage, simultaneously jumping around, banging on things, wearing crazy masks, and dressed up like evil ice cream men. While they are not exactly scary, they are intimidating to look at with their subtly disturbing masks.

It is a spectacle, for sure, and the crowd loved it. Too bad, after a while, Slipknot’s songs all start to sound the same. "Iowa" is still their best record and they played two scorchers off of it, “People=(Expletive)” and “Disasterpiece” but again, after the fourth or fifth song, they were just too similar.

Turntablist Sid Wilson’s treadmill dancing was laughable, too, but Slipknot’s video and lights made it easy to forget Wilson’s histrionics. At times, it looked as if they were zooming through hyperspace if you allowed yourself to get lost in their background imagery, which was nicely done. They have quite the stage setup with walkways and stairs and even a fire pole that Wilson slid down. Guitarist Jim Root looked like he could have been having more fun getting a root canal (see what I did there?), but those guys had to have been hot as heck under their masks and stage getups.

Singer Corey Taylor said, at one point, “We’re a long way from Celebrity Theater, I’ll tell you that” and he is right. Slipknot and Knotfest Roadshow are a spectacle and on Sunday night, it was, at very least for many concert goers, moist as well and hot as hell.