NSFW: It’s Meltdown Time! Week 9 — Lone Star State edition

Welcome back to the land of heartbreak and butthurt! It’s a glorious Lone Star State studded edition of the meltdown thread this week and boy, howdy, is the anger Texas-sized.

TCU lost to Kansas in football. After nine weeks of the season, TCU and Kansas have the same record in football! What a time to be alive.

Other lone star schools lost but I just want to repeat that Kansas beat TCU in football in the year of our Lord 2018 as many times as possible. Let’s get to the other games this week.

Top Ten Texas proved this week how decisively not-back they currently are. A few years ago Texas lost to Kansas in football and became the butt of every joke in the Big 12. This week TCU lost to Kansas in football and Texas wasn’t even able to properly enjoy it because they dropped a turd in Stillwater during prime time for the whole world to see.

Florida and Georgia faced off as top 10 divisional rivals in a heavyweight fight to determine who would have the inside track to face Bama in the SEC Championship game. This game is known as the “World’s largest outdoor cocktail party” or more accurately, a Jacksonville sloppy-off. UF put up a stout defensive performance but still would go on to lose horrifically: 36-17. It was not as horrific as when TCU lost to Kansas in football in the year 2018.

Those good ol’ fightin’ Texas Aggies continued the Lone Star losses with a complete plopper of a loss. TAMU hosted Mississippi State in a maroon-off that burned the eyes of any who dared gaze upon it. Ranked 16th in the AP poll, the Aggies showed off what a terrible decision that was and lost 28-13 in a game where Nick Fitzgerald looked like a good passer with 242 yards in the air and 88 more on the ground. Fitzgerald scored four total touchdowns, which was more than Kansas scored when they beat TCU in football this week.

I’m not sure if you’d heard this yet but you should sit down for this news. TCU lost to Kansas in football this week. The horny toads butt fumbled and lost to Kansas in the same football game. They lost to Kansas in football by one point. It was a very bad day to be a purple frog with horns, but it’s a great day to read how mad they all were online.

The language below is filled with Texas-sized pottymouthery. Proceed with boots and a lone star state worth of toughness against cussery.

TOM HERMAN THE FIGHTIN’ MAN

Life is pain and death awaits us all

Mike Leach do I see a family trip in the future to Austin?

(Door opens, A&M is sitting on the couch)

”What’s up, Longhorns? Great to see y’all. There’s plenty of beer in the fridge, Texas Tech is out for some more liqour. TCU tried to puke and rally but shit themselves while they were kneeling over the toilet and passed out.

Every year “wait till next year” suckass losers!

Any hope of a playoff kiss it goodbye. Season wasted. What’s the point now tbh

You asked for it, you wanted it, so on December 15th UFC is bringing it to you.

Tom Herman vs Mike Gundy

For the Big 12 fighting belt.

Mark the date, get your beer. The Mullet takes on the Hermit. Only $12,000 on pay per view.

I still have no idea how every single player on the offense all moving in different directions before the snap is not a false start

Every Saturday we get closer to an Oklahoma v Iowa State Big 12 Championship game.

I’d like to give a shout-out to the “senior leadership” of the team. Boyd and Davis did a great job getting themselves suspended for the first quarter, while Hager and Vahe did an excellent job committing backbreaking penalties and generally just being complete shit today. Brilliant stuff for sure

Herman forgot Gundy is a man. He’ll fight you one on one.Herman forgot Gundy is a man. He’ll fight you one on one.

Don’t let this distract you from the fact that Kansas beat Texas ChristianUniversity

Texas 35 OKST 28 REFS 10

This Herman guy is a joke. So pissed.....so very very pissed

Is this Facebook in 2009 because Texas just got POKED.

Its terrible watching 2 straight qb sneaks on 3rd downs from a soup can for legs QB.

Newsflash. Their QB runs the ball. It’s a zone read...the same offense you run, Tom

Should be investigated on refs....idiots....Vince Young fumble years ago vs USC, bs non safety call vs USC.”..fy and now THIS, fans of UT

You know, those of us that have been begging for the team to show up in the second half, did not mean show up fashionably late after missing the first half.

Anyone else want to see Gundy vs Herman in a cage match?? Wrestling Speedos banned of course

Me irl

Taking a timeout to go yell at the refs is a bold move

Between stepping on their dick the whole first quarter, then taking their sweet-ass time on that last drive to get within 3, this was a poorly coached game all around. Maybe one day this team can play a full 4 quarters.

Poor preparation usually leads to losses IYAM

Bring back Mack Brown! He was a consistent winner.

I’m disgusted, I feel nauseous right now. FU TODD AND TOM!! Pathetic effort!! 2 weeks to prepare for a 4-3 team and this is how you come out???? PATHETIC

Looking at the upcoming schedule, it is safe to say that this team loses all remaining games. 100% guaranteed!
After waking up Christmas morning year after year only to find a lump of coal under the tree, you give up hope for anything else. Longhorn football has left a lump a lump of coal under the proverbial tree year after year and reality is I”ve given hope for anything from them. I”ve given up on Longhorn football.
There is no such thing as Santa Claus. There is no such thing as the Easter Bunny. There is no such thing as the Tooth Fairy.
AND THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LONGHORN FOOTBALL BEING BACK

If that is not a false start, the rules need to be changed

Our coach appears to be a product of the time out generation.

Things had gone downhill since the first quarter IMO

Bad bad coaching pretty much all season! Keep getting stupid penalties. Thank God that we won’t be trashed in a playoff

Aaaaand Texas is back. Just when we regained hope that our beloved team was back....they were. This IS Texas football.

Tom Herman is a grade A fuckhead.

not a poor sportsman reaction... But WHY IS IT THAT ALLLWASSSSSSSSSSSSSS GET FKD with officiating in the OSU gamessssl?? I’m not being a bad sport. But seriously.. this was a ability reffed game.... again

It could be worse, you could be a Razorback fan.

Note to Todd Orlando. The game starts at kick-off! Out of 8 games, Texas defense has allowed the other team to score 5 times in the first 5 minutes of the game. 4 times it was a TD. Inexcusable

That last play was cheating. OSU had there foot out of bounce before he fell. They have it to them. TEXAS did the same play right after OSU and they called it out of bounce....

“Come on my field again and I’ll show you who’s a man, boy.” - Gundy

If you move the entire backfield how is it not a false start

What is the penalty going to be for Hager having a steroid meltdown at the end of the game?

Holy shit my grandma could have got more bounce tripping in the shower.

Texas is back whack, folks.

Onside kick with 3 timeouts??? Are you nuts Herman???

As usual the Longhorns underwhelm. I stayed before don’t claim “they’re back” until they win a National Championship. What a Bush league coach.

I’ve maintained Herman is an idiot since day 1

I just wanted to see Mike beat Tom’s ass.

FLORIDA GEORGIA LINE IN THE SAND

Florida just got unfriended by god

At least we don’t have to play bama now

Florida out here tryna playing RISK while UGA playing UNO

Florida would be so good if they had a QB: the story of the decade

UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>

LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA

UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>

UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>

LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA

UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>

UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>

LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA

UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU>UGA>UF>LSU

Fucking skycam wire UGA homer

I blame it on the knee pad penalty.

Franks is absolute ass trash.

I’ve never seen such a great and shitty defense at the same time

As soon as Franks overthrew the sure touchdown on the first play of the game I knew it was over.

Need more cocktails

Never thought I’d see the east champion come down to a head to head between Georgia and Kentucky in football but here we are. How do I talk to my kids about this?

”What are your dislikes?”

”People’s knees.” -SEC refs

Florida doesn’t count the 1904 game because they weren’t officially a football team? I wonder if FSU can use the same defense for today’s game

Welcome to the World’s Smallest Indoor Cocktail Party!

Me drinking whiskey and coke in my apartment

did yuo know?: football person named holyfield is related to punching person named holyfield

THANKS FOR THE FUN FACTS GARY

Play an arousing game of UNO

Who green-lighted that Uno bit

Hello. I represent FFFNPA, Football Fans For No Political Ads. To donate to my cause, groan loudly and drink your beer.

Florida playing in a big top 10 match up with a championship on the line? Yup sounds like I’ll be hurt again

”We got an injured gator on the field,” could mean many, many things in Florida.

Me: *Drinks literal poison to watch some students ram into each other*

My liver: Uh oh buddy, let me just clean these toxins up for you

Me: *Does it again because political ads won’t stop*

Whose idea was that Uno segment and where can I go to punch them in the dick?

Uno is perfect for this florida team because it’s the most mentally stimulating game florida students can play without getting so confused that we quit to smoke bath salts

true story:

jake fromm went to the same college as me. In fact, he sat next to me all semester in intro to chem. No assigned seats btw. We were taking the final and i caught him looking at my test. I didnt really mind, so i didnt say anything. One week later while waiting for my final grade, i get a letter from the dean requesting my presence. In the meeting the dean lets me know that an anonymous student filed a report against me saying that i bullied him into sitting next to me all semester so i could cheat off him. Since other students (the whole football team was in that class) corroborated the story, i was to be promptly expelled. It left a permanent mark on my record, so i couldn’t transfer anywhere else in the state. Out of state tuition was even higher, so there was no way i could afford school elsewhere. My parents disowned me, not even my dog would look at me.

Two years later, im homeless and living on the streets in front of the Everbank Field in Jacksonville, begging for change. I had one of those tin cans next to me, since i was too ashamed and depressed to look people in the eye and ask for money. The can basically spoke for me. Suddenly, i hear the noise of something going into my can. I grabbed it and looked inside, and found a single 50 yard line ticket to tonight’s game, UGA vs. Florida. I look up and i see none other than Jake Fromm. As he continues on his way, he turns around and flashes me a quick wink and smile.

When i tried to use the ticket, the attendant let me know it was counterfeit and the cops arrested me on the spot.

SAGGIES (SAD AGGIES):

I had a joke about the game, but I dropped it.

And Nick Fitzgerald of all people joins TCU baseball and Mike Leach among the ranks of “I hope my team never has to play them ever again” In 3 games: 54 carries for 375 yards and 5 TDs on the ground, 44 of 74 for 591 and 6 TDs through the air. Averages about 320 yards and 4 TDs. Damn.

Don’t you hate when you’re trying to run out the clock and you accidentally do a 75 yard TD

Furk.

I thought with the Dallas Cowboys on bye that I wouldn’t have to watch an inept offense for once this season. I was so wrong. Kill me.

Now THIS is Aggie football I remember!

i say we ban bye weeks forever

last time we didnt have one our qb won the heisman

Most undisciplined football I’ve seen all season from a Jimbo team. Dropped balls, bad penalties, etc. Maybe it was the cow bells.

https://i.imgur.com/RBAJeJq.jpg

How is our redzone offense that bad? Seriously? And our secondary? The fuck coaches?

Who would be the winner if Mond tried to throw against our own secondary?

If Kyler Murray were still here The Ags would be 7-1, steamrolling toward the playoffs and another Heisman would come to Aggieland. The guy is phenomenal.

Instead the Ags are 5-3 with Mond.

Last night is just another example of how the Sumlin effect still lingers. It will not be till the 3rd Jumbo year till most of Sumlin players leave will our team be top 15 better.

Do you think putting Starkel in will magically solve the Oline’s problems with protecting the QB? You think we get more time to throw? Just dumb dumb dumb reasoning.

2020 is still the target year for the breakthrough.

in part because the upperclassmen will be gone and Clemson & Georgia will be gone from the schedule

We would have destroyed Okie Lite. Their run game is what led them to victory. Just goes to show how fall the BDF has fallen. I’d still rather play better teams in the SEC than play the trash that is the BDF. No looking back.

Still top 25 biatches And clearly the second best 3-loss team in the nation. Just kidding aggies never lose, sometimes they just have less points when the clock runs out.

Is there seriously anyone who doesn’t think we’ll go at least 8-4? Remaining games:

@Miss State

@Auburn (really struggling right now, lost at home to bad Tenn team today)

Ole Miss (losing to Arkansas right now 27-10 close to half)

UAB

LSU

I’ll go ahead and opine that we not going to lose to Ole Miss or UAB. That gets us to 7 wins right there.

Why not offer Saban 100 million and 5 years? Then we would truly know if anybody is capable of resurrecting this program.

If it doesn’t work, shut the program down and use Kyle Field as an intramural field.

Stidham will hang 60 on us next week After watching the tape from last night he must be slobbering all over himself. It’s gonna be fugly

What would be our record if we hired Chad Morris? I’m going to say 2-6. Now shut up you poonz. Jimbo will right the ship and we will be the rage in 2020.

Holy shit. My mom just walked in with some Layne’s Chicken Tendies and I literally screamed at her and slapped the Layne’s Chicken Tendies out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the door on her. I’m so distressed right now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do that to my mom but I’m literally in shock from the results tonight. I feel like I’m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck are the good guys losing? This can’t be happening. I’m having a fucking breakdown. I don’t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want Jimbo to fix this battered team. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I thought Mond was doing well???? This is so fucked.

TCU IS THE SCHOOL WHO LOST TO KANSAS IN FOOTBALL:

Eight games into the season, Kansas and TCU have the exact same record. Just as we all predicted.

Why do the football gods of Lawrence, KS hate the things I love?

KANSAS IS BACK FOLKS

meme me into oblivion fam

Huge win for Texas if we’re being honest.

Reminder: Kansas has not yet been eliminated from bowl contention, just saying

This has to be the worst week for TCU since their campus got burned down

Kansas is now 3-0 against teams that didn’t score more points than them.

And I thought I wanted to die last week

Fuck all the entitled prima donnas on the TCU roster. That’s what I see with this team. Entitled bastards.

Fuck it all. Go back to recruiting 2* players who actually work hard and give an effort and don’t have a sense of entitlement.

Ditch the air raid or whatever stupid ass offense it is we run. It doesn’t fucking work. Go back to a physical ball control offense and get physical guys in here. If we are going to be a defense first team than our offense needs to compliment the defense.

Give me blue collar TCU back. This is fucking embarrassing. I’ve seen way too much quit and give up this year.

Regardless a loss to Kansas is what did in Charlie Strong, and a loss to Kansas is inexcusable. There need to be changes made. I’m not going to blame Patterson and his defense here. I thought he called a fine game, its that our players who were in position to make plays, didn’t make them. Too many missed tackles and arm tackles despite being in position.

We can no longer make jokes about Texas losing to Kansas in football or butt fumbles. Today is the worst day of my goddamn life.

There is not enough tequila in the world.

Is this worse than the original butt fumble? I mean it wasn’t as bad of a fumble on it’s own, but it made them lose to Kansas.

Ohio state… about that quality out of conference win…. Our bad.

Absolutely fucking fade me fam

Press F to pay respec 4 tcu

[G]

No respec

Don’t let the fact that Nebraska has fewer wins than Kansas distract you from the fact that Kansas just beat TCU in football

Basketball school, fine with me

How on this green planet, do you allow Kansas to beat you???

We lost to Kansas on a butt fumble. Gonna go butt chug everclear. Tell my family I died well. I’m not gonna, but pls tell them anyway.

The way TCU is playing this season they should expand the stadium.