PARKINSON: Attitudes influence results when making business decisions

Consider for a moment that you have been invited to attend a business related function you really don’t want to go to, but for “politically astute” reasons you must attend. My guess is that has happened to you at least once during your work years. If it hasn’t happened to you yet, you can bet it will!

Here’s the problem you face. Even though you don’t really have a choice to accept or decline the invitation, you must respond — somehow! So what do you do?

My close friend and colleague, Jack Grossman, often referred to the practice of “self-talk,” which encouraged participants to privately talk their way through complicated options when making difficult decisions.

Here’s Jack’s recommendation: Choose the appropriate attitude to use when you select your response. Once you make a decision, choose an appropriate attitude to support that decision. By that he suggested you select the state of mind you will display when you act on your response.

If you were to select a negative attitude, you would resent going to the business function because you would convince yourself you wouldn’t have a very good time. However, if you select a positive attitude you would feel OK about going because you would convince yourself you would have a good time.

You would accept the fact that even though you prefer to skip the experience all together, as long as you were required to attend you might just as well make every effort to enjoy yourself.

In all likelihood, the attitude you choose would result in your selected prediction coming true.

When we have a strong belief about the outcome of a relationship or an impending experience, we do everything in our power to make that belief come true. It wouldn’t be an overstatement to say that our attitudes are responsible for creating and even perpetuating our joys and sorrows, our good and bad, our successes and failures, and even the quality of our relationships.

I recently came across a statement that expanded on this attitude selection process. It stated, “How you see is what you see.”

Every day we are exposed to a wide variety of people, events, opportunities, and possibilities, and we have to make choices about each one. We often aren’t aware that we do this. We constantly judge the people and the “things” we observe. And conversely we also are judged.

We exist in a world of constant judgment. When we are the judges, sometimes our actions and responses might be self-serving and inappropriate. When we are being judged, just the opposite might become evident.

But let’s shift gears and return to making choices. And let’s use this past Wednesday as our focal point. As you probably remember, that was the birthday of Martin Luther King Jr.

Dr. King is an excellent example of the importance of recognizing how attitudes drive behaviors. His life exemplified that.

What he believed determined what he did. There was no question that his attitudes and beliefs drove his actions.

I met Dr. King one evening shortly before he traveled to accept the Nobel Prize. He was late arriving at the meeting site in Connecticut because of a severe thunderstorm, but the audience waited patiently. Finally, he arrived, entering the meeting room to a solid round of applause. It had been worth the wait.

When he took the stage he began by saying, “Thank you for waiting. I’m sorry to be a bit late, but the thunderstorm delayed the flight, and it was nice to finally land.”

When there was a bit of laughter from the assembled audience, he was quick to add this comment, “Now, I don’t want you to get the idea I don’t have confidence in the Lord in the air. It’s just that I’ve had more experience with Him on the ground.”

Now, that was an example of how attitude will drive behavior.

Just as my friend, Jack suggested.

Siesta Key resident J. Robert Parkinson, who has a doctorate in communications from Syracuse University, is an author, executive communication coach and consultant to companies throughout the U.S. and abroad. His books include, “Be as Good as You Think You Are” (Motivational Press), written with his wife, Eileen; “Becoming a Successful Manager” (McGraw-Hill) and “You Can't Push A String” (Black Opal Books). Contact him at joropa@northwestern.edu.