'MIND WAS TAKING OVER'
SASHA BANKS has opened up about her struggle with depression which led to her absence from WWE in 2019.
The Boss, 29, spent four months away from the company after losing the Women’s Tag-Team Titles at WrestleMania 35.
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Rumours swirled that she asked for her release from WWE during that period due to becoming frustrated with her booking.
However Banks, real name Mercedes Kaestner-Varnado, has now revealed her mental health was the biggest factor in her wanting to step away.
Speaking on the Broken Skull Sessions, she said: "Depression was taking over. My mind was taking over. My thoughts were taking over.
"This place was being bigger than me. And I really, really lost myself because for a good seven years, I didn't even hear my real name.
"I didn't hear Mercedes anymore. All I heard was Sasha Banks, and traveling on the road, we only get one to two days off.
That was probably one of the hardest things I had to do was to ask to leave the WWE. He said no. He said I'm gonna give you 30 days to think about it
Sasha Banks on Vince McMahon
"So, I'm home, not even seeing what my real hair looks like. All I see is purple hair every single day. There were just so many things that were just—I let it control me.
"I let it take it in and be like, 'This is too much,' instead of being like, 'You know what? Everything's good. Breathe. Everything's fine.'"
She continued: "I couldn't even look at myself. I didn't even know who the hell I was. How I was going into work, how angry I was going in, how sad I was. I was not the person that I dreamt to be."
Banks admitted she went into Vince McMahon's office to request to leave WWE, but the billionaire chairman would not let her out of her contract.
She added: "It hit the fan and I wanted to make sure that I didn't lose myself. So I said, 'You know what? I got to take a step away and find myself again and I gotta be brave about that.'
YOU'RE NOT ALONE
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.
It doesn't discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society - from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It's the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it's rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You're Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let's all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others... You're Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
- CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858
- Heads Together,www.headstogether.org.uk
- Mind, www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393
- Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41
- Samaritans,www.samaritans.org, 116 123
- Movember,www.uk.movember.com
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"And that was probably one of the hardest things I had to do was to ask to leave the WWE. I asked to leave and Vince was like, 'no'.
"He said no. He said I'm gonna give you 30 days to think about it. And I took more than 30 days."
Banks has been one of WWE's top stars since her return, with her current run as SmackDown Women's champ her longest title reign to date.
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