Ask a Stoner: How Do I Tell My Friend That His Weed Sucks?

Westword

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Dear Stoner: A new friend was excited to give me homegrown weed after months of sending me pictures. I was excited for him, too, but what I received was a shriveled piece of grass with little THC. How do I tell him this? Should I?
Dilbert

Dear Dilbert: You're acting as if you have to tell a best friend that his wife is having an affair. Growing weed is a hobby for most of us, and we're realistic enough to know that the first go-around won't win any cannabis cups. As someone whose work is critiqued by editors and the public, I can tell you that there are plenty of ways to constructively criticize and pump up your friend at the same time.

click to enlarge

Smoking a friend's homegrown can be a dangerous game if it's their first time growing.

Jacqueline Collins

Start with a compliment (make one up if you have to), and then talk about what he did wrong — but only if you have constructive tips, because who wants to hear from critics who don't have solutions? You could also help him in the grow; give him growing guides from the likes of Jorge Cervantes, Jeff Lowenfels or Ed Rosenthal; or secure better genetics for his next crop. Most of us are our own harshest critics, but we're too proud to ask for help.

Have a question for our Stoner? E-mail [email protected].