The sash, the bouquet of roses, the tiara — and a whole bunch of mean girls who turned away in disgust from Miss USA 2022 in her moment of weepy crowning glory.
Exit stage left and stage right in a mutiny of pulchritude.
That was just the beginning of the drama that has engulfed the formidable beauty pageant in the aftermath of its 70th anniversary: Seven decades of squeals, runway promenades for D-list celebrity judges, do-good avowals, butt glue (to prevent bathing suits from riding up, creating wedgies) and hemorrhoid cream (to reduce puffiness under the eyes).
So many tricks of the trade, so little time to pop for the appraisers.
But tricky treating — as in rigging — is the accusation being hurled at organizers of last month’s cavalcade of beauties in Reno. Leaving very much in a dither — Miss-led? — whether triumphant Miss Texas, R’Bonney Gabriel, will in fact be repping the U-S-of-A at Miss Universe. The pageant was bought just a week ago by a titan Thai transgender businesswoman for $20 million.
(The Miss Universe bylaws were amended in 2012 to allow transgender women to enter. Miss Spain in 2018, Angela Ponce, made history by becoming the first transgender woman to compete.)
Gabriel, a 28-year-old fashion designer from Houston who gives sewing lessons to victims of domestic violence and human trafficking — lest anyone think the contestants are mere bimbos, as the Duchess of Sussex now claims she was made to feel whilst a “briefcase girl” on the game show “Deal or No Deal” — had barely begun to make the morning talk show rounds when the pageant was plunged into chaos over allegations of judging manipulation, preferential treatment and an orchestrated “pre-selection” of the winner.
Perfidy afoot in stiletto heels.
Goodness, is nothing sacred anymore? And didn’t we see this plot in “Miss Congeniality” — favourite rom-com of just about every man I know, when forced to watch rom-coms.
“A lot of the girls felt like it was the organization’s plan from the beginning for R’Bonney to win, no matter who else was competing,” Miss Missouri, Mikala McGhee, told the website Insider.
McGhee was among the many participants who took a bite-me flouncing hike when Miss Texas was announced victor — first ever Filipina Miss USA — a ta-da moment when the other contestants traditionally surround the new champ cooing congratulations and definitely not acting like they want to stab her in the ear. Grins, not grimaces. Instead, Gabriel was stranded on the stage with only the mystified emcee for hugging company.
Nothing personal, Miss Missouri insists. She’s not knocking Gabriel; indeed she believes Miss Texas could have won the pageant fair and square. “It was to send a statement that we all had an idea of what was really going on behind the scenes. We felt disrespected and paraded around for show.”
From Miss District of Columbia, Faith Maria Porter, to the Washington Post: “The girls, including myself, felt disrespected because R’Bonney was very close to the staff members and directors of the pageant, and they were blatant about that. She also had personal ties with a judge who scored the costume competition, and we can see that she was personally communicating with nationals sponsors, which is a violation of the contract.”
On the morning after, Miss Montana, Heather O’Keefe, posted her objection on TikTok, calling the pageant “suspect”, reproaching the Miss USA organization for extending perks to Miss Texas that others didn’t enjoy, include a pre-pageant trip to a spa in Mexico, appearing on sponsors’ social media pages ahead of the big night, and getting away scot-free for staying out past curfew during the competition.
Ashley Ehrhart, Miss Oklahoma, told NBC it was “not a shock” when Gabriel was awarded the diamond and pearl tiara. “It stings because all week I had thought this could go one way due to the favouritism I saw shown. However, I was still hoping and rooting for myself as a competitor … but it was no surprise.”
What is this, figure skating? At least the contestants weren’t sashaying juiced. That we know of. And sparkly headwear isn’t the only goody at stake here — the winner receives a luxury price package that includes a six-figure salary, a condo in L.A., an upscale car and a wardrobe filled with designer garments.
Thus it’s a poodle-eat-poodle world out there.
Upshot of the imbroglio is that Miss Universe — their shimmy scheduled for Jan. 14 in New Orleans — has suspended Miss USA President Crystle Stewart and her ownership company, Miss Brand Corporation, pending an independent investigation into the purported chicanery. “Miss Universe Organization will be taking over the Miss USA program while a comprehensive, third-party investigation is conducted,” as per a statement released.
Stewart, herself a one-time Miss USA, is co-operating with the probe “The allegations against the Miss USA Organization are misleading and against everything I stand for personally and professionally,” she said in her counter statement. “As a former titleholder, I learned firsthand the importance of a fair and unbiased pageant competition and I respect the voices of the Class of 2022 and every woman’s right to have their voice heard.”
Well, it’s not really their voices that are featured heard in a beauty pageant, is it? At least not until the finalists get to the non-skill-testing question portion, after the swimsuit on-the-hoof and evening gown strut rounds. Miss Texas drew a question about the impact of climate change on women in particular. Because the pageant is nothing if not relevant to these times.
“It’s as easy as adding a recycling bin to your house, anybody can do that. Or being creative in ways you can also implement it in your job. I am a fashion designer, I actually made the outfit I’m wearing from upcycled pieces and recycled different clothing.”
At least Miss USA has a Q & A segment, presumably to gauge how quick on her feet — smarts-wise — a contestant can be. There is otherwise no “talent” segment, one way in which Miss USA can be distinguished from the dueling Miss America pageant, an exercise in spot-the-difference that can strain the brain. Talent featured among Miss America contestants has included ventriloquism, cheerleading and rifle twirling.
The Miss America contest ends with that crowning. The winner doesn’t go on to compete in Miss Universe, as does Miss USA etc. including this year’s Miss Canada, Amelia Tu. While beauty pageants have largely fallen out of audience favour in Canada and the U.S., Miss Universe is a TV ratings smash — more than 500 million viewers in 190 countries. Canada has twice brought home the title currently held by Miss India Harnaaz Sandhu.
This isn’t the first time Miss USA has been rocked by scandal. Most notoriously, the beauty pageant — and Miss Universe — had been owned by Donald Trump from 1996 to 2015, when the future (fingers crossed never again) American president was forced to sell the whole kit ‘n’ caboodle over incendiary comments he’d made about Mexicans. His creepy behaviour also included joking about sexually assaulting women and entering the change room while contestants were in various states of undress. “I’m the owner of the pageant and therefore I’m inspecting,” Trump told Howard Stern.
Beauties and the beast.
Rosie DiManno is a Toronto-based columnist covering sports and current affairs for the Star. Follow her on Twitter: @rdimanno
