The 25 Best Sex Toys for Solo and Partner Play, According to Sex and Intimacy Experts
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InStyle / Kevin Liang
The benefits of masturbation are well-documented, however, the female orgasm is often taken for granted. Whether you’re a sex toy novice or a seasoned pleasure product player, single or partnered, sexperienced or brand spanking new to shagging, you deserve to share your bed with the best sex toy ever. Thing is, what qualifies as the best sex toy varies person-to-person so one person’s holy grail vibrator can be another person’s pain in the ass (literally). Not to mention how many different kinds of vibrators, dildos, booty toys and other sex toys there are out there in the first place.
“It can feel overwhelming to face the sheer volume of options available when it comes to buying a sex toy for the first time,” says Dr. Kate Balestrieri, a licensed psychologist, certified sex therapist, and founder of the group therapy practice Modern Intimacy. Heck, it can be overwhelming even if your bedside table is overflowing with your current collection, she says.
To help you out, we consulted with sex and intimacy experts (as well as conducted our own research) to find the best sex toys—whether you’re exploring your own body or trying something new with your partner(s). Our list includes dildos, clitoral stimulators, G-spot toys, vibrators, butt plugs and more, so you’ll be able to find a pleasure product that matches your preferences — no matter what they are.
Best Sex Toy Overall: Lelo Smart Wand 2 - Large
Why We Love It: Clap it up for the sex toy gold medalist: The Lelo Smart Wand 2. Both an external vibrator and muscle massager, this microphone-shaped pleasure product features a bulbous motorized head that transmits 10 different rumbly vibrations deep into your neck or back, bits or bum. The extra-long handle helps you (or your partner) easily reach whatever areas you're trying to stimulate. Plus, because the handle does not vibrate, your hand won’t go numb as it can when you’re holding onto a toy that vibrates everywhere. At $200, this climax-giver will cost you, but considering it has a 10-year warranty and is one of the most versatile sex toys on the market today, it’s well-worth the investment.
Who's It For: A beginner-friendly vibrator, the Lelo Smart Wand 2 is a great option for anyone interested in incorporating any type of external — penile, clitoral, muscle, nipple, etc.— stimulation into their solo, partnered, or multi-partnered play. Given that the toy doubles as a hand-held back and head massager, it also works well for athletes and gym rats.
Type: Vibrator | Speeds: 10 patterns
Best Sex Toy Runner-Up: MEMEDA Dame Products Arc
Why We Love It: Marketed to target the G-spot, the Dame Arc was primarily designed to stimulate the nerve-clusters inside the vaginal canal. With its bulbous head and 5 different vibration intensities, this C-shaped sex toy can help you do that very (very!) effectively. However, the ergonomic shape of this toy makes it incredibly easy to use, so it can absolutely be used by individuals looking to stimulate external erogenous zones like their clit or penis, too. Oh, and this vibe is totally waterproof which means you can use it when you get wet-and-wild alone or with a partner.
Who's It For: A versatile vibrator designed for external or vaginal stimulation, the slightly-curved Dame Arc vibrator is a sound selection for anyone interested in a vibe that does (almost) everything. Because the toy does not have a flared base, it is not safe to use for anal penetration — so, if you’re looking to stimulate your anal canal, opt for an anal sex toy instead.
Type: Vibrator | Speeds: 5 intensities
Best Overall Lubricant: Babeland Babelube Silk
Why We Love It: Without a doubt, motorized and non-motorized sex toys alike can be a great addition to your sex life. But for anyone who feels intimidated by sex toys, or whose budget can’t expand in the way many sex toys require, a lubricant like Babelube Silk is an amazing alternative option. That’s because store-bought lubricant is very similar in look and feel to many of the body fluids that can occur during sex, and thus integrating lube can feel easier than toys for some people! Plus, it genuinely makes all types of sex (hand, mouth, penetrative, etc.) better. Of all lube options, Babelube Silk is tops. It is a hybrid-lubricant that is safe to use with condoms (unlike oil-based lubricants) and silicone-toys (unlike silicone-only) lubes, says sex educator Lisa Finn with sex-toy emporium Babeland. Plus, “it’s really minimal on ingredients and doesn’t have any added flavor or fragrance which makes it great for folks with sensitivities, and it is pH balanced for vaginal play,” they say.
Who's It For: One of the most accessible pleasure aids on the market, store-bought lubricants like Babelube Silk are a good option for anyone who hasn’t yet made their debut into the world of sex toys, as well as anyone looking for a non-obtrusive add-in for sex. Compatible with latex barriers and silicone sex toys, Babelube Silk is also a good option for anyone on the market for lubricant.
Type: Lubricant | Speeds: N/A
Best Sex Toy for Beginners: We-Vibe Tango X Lipstick Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator
Why We Love It: The We-Vibe Tango X may be just 4-inches long, but this small, external vibrator is certainly mighty. “It pumps out super, super rumbly vibrations that can be used all over the body (externally),” says Rachel Worthington, a sex and relationships writer and sex toy reviewer for Bedbible.com. The bottom portion of the toy is made from silicone, which makes it easy to hold. Meanwhile, the ABS-plastic — which is body-safe, for the record — allows you to offer some variety in how much pressure your hot-spots receive, she says. “The ABS plastic body allows you to choose between firm and light pressure, as well as precise and broad stimulation,” she says. The toy also features an angled tip, which Finn says is perfect for pinpoint stimulation against the head of the clit, nipples, or the frenulum (a hot-spot beneath the head of the penis).
Who's It For: For those who are just venturing into the world of self-pleasure, this is a great place to start — not just because of the vast settings, but also because the compact size (it measures up to your standard lipstick tube) makes it easy to add into play. After all, you can just hold it in your hand and stroke yourself as you normally would!
Type: Vibrator | Speeds: 7 patterns
Best Sex Toy for Advanced Users: Lioness Vibrator 2.0
Why We Love It: If your bedside table is already cluttered with a hearty collection of pleasure products, Rica Cruz, PhD, a Philippines-based sex and relationships therapist, educator, broadcaster, and CEO of Unprude says you should consider the Lioness Vibrator 2.0. “A smart rabbit-type vibrator that can measure your arousal and orgasms,” this tech-forward vibrator has built-in sensors, biofeedback, and an app to analyze and track your orgasms so you can understand them better. Before play, you sync the app to the toy. Afterwards, you can see a visual chart of your orgasms, as well as track how different factors (such as alcohol, caffeine, stress, etc.) affect them. This helps you better understand what works for your body and improves your personal sex through data-backed pleasure.
Who's It For: The high-tech capabilities of the Lioness Vibrator 2.0 will likely be overwhelming to pleasure-seekers who are new(er) to sex toys. But for horny data nerds, toy collectors, and relationships resolutioners who enjoy internal vaginal stimulation, the Lioness Vibrator 2.0 is an A+ pick.
Type: Vibrator | Speeds: 100 patterns
Best Sex Toy for Couples: We Vibe Sync O
Why We Love It: The We-Vibe Sync O is a vibrator designed to be used during partnered penetrative play. Formerly known as the We-Vibe Chorus, this vibrator can be inserted into the vaginal or anal canal during intercourse in such a way that stimulates multiple pleasure zones at once. During vaginal intercourse, for instance, this triple-stimulation toy will target the clit, G-spot, and penis all at the same time. “You can control the vibration settings from either the remote control or We-Vibe app,” says Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D., host of the SexWithDrJess Podcast, expert with Lovehoney, and co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Seduction and Foreplay. Both options allow you to change the intensity hands-free, so that you don’t have to do much fiddling when you’re in the heat of the moment.
Who's It For: Anyone who is on the market for a sex-toy to use during partnered play (think: penis-in-vagina sex, anal intercourse, or strap-on play) should consider the We-Vibe Sync O. A wearable vibrator, this C-shaped toy can be worn during penetration in such a way that stimulates both the wearer (the person receiving penetration) and the person doing the penetrating.
Type: Vibrator | Speeds: 10 preset patterns + create your own
Best Budget Sex Toy: Satisfyer Yummy Sunshine Vibrator
Why We Love It: Don’t let its cheesy name fool you, the Yummy Sunshine Vibrator from Satisfyer can deliver some seriously delicious pleasure. Ringing up at under $55, this high-quality vibrator is just one-fourth the price of most luxury external vibrators but equal in its ability to facilitate fireworks. The shaft of the toy sports a wave-like texture that can help electrify the nerves lining your vaginal canal, while the tip of the toy curves with G-zone stimulation in mind. Safe for use in the shower or bath, this waterproof pick has 12 different vibration options, which you can explore using the very intuitive button display as you play.
Who's It For: This cheery, budget-friendly G-spot vibrator is a great option for anyone who enjoys internal vaginal stimulation, as well as those interested in exploring textured, external sensation. It shouldn't be used for anal penetration, so anal sex enthusiasts would be wise to keep scrolling.
Type: Vibrator | Speeds: 12 vibrations
Best Sex Toy Splurge: Babeland The Cowgirl
Why We Love It: Visually the love-child of an ottoman and vibrator, The Cowgirl is a very powerful ridable vibrator. The top of the toy can be outfitted with a range of penetrative or non-penetrative stimulators, so that you can straddle the toy and experience all sorts of sensations. At $1750, this toy isn’t for the faint of heart or wallet, but for anyone who loves rider-on-top position more than a Cowgirl loves riding Horse, this is a sound purchase. The nature of the toy makes it extremely visual for anyone witnessing you saddle up, which can come in handy for content creators and long-distance lovers.
Who's It For: Anyone who craves vibrational intensity internally or externally may enjoy taking a ride li(or 10) on The Cowgirl. Given that the toy is well-suited to performance, it’s a particularly sound option for voyeurs, exhibitionists, and sex party hosts.
Type: Vibrator | Speeds: 6 vibration patterns
Best Rabbit Vibrator Sex Toy: LOVENSE Nora Rabbit Vibrator with APP Control
Why We Love It: Rabbit vibrators are a category of dual-stimulation toys that stimulate the user's vulva (external bits) and vagina (internal spots) at the exact same time. Of all the rabbit vibrators on the market, Dr. Balestrieri recommends Lovense Nora Rabbit Vibrator, which features a rotating head for easy G-spot stimulation, as well as a vibrating arm that ranges from low to “earthquake”-level patterns.The toy also connects to mobile devices using Bluetooth, so the vibrator can be controlled via app, which is great for partner play—even if they’re in another city. A single charge of this silicone toy will last up to four hours of continuous use, which is significantly more than some of the other vibrators on this list.
Who's It For: Designed to target the G-zone and clit simultaneously, this rabbit vibrator is great for people who enjoy sensation overload, as well as those interested in experiencing a blended vibrator. Because the toy can be controlled-via-app, this toy is also a fun pick for long-distance couples.
Type: Vibrator | Speeds: 3 rotation speeds (more via app) and 7 vibrating patterns
Best Bullet Vibrator: Lelo Mia 2
Why We Love It: If you’re looking for a vibe that provides clitoral stimulation, the Lelo Mia 2 is a great choice. No bigger than a tampon and outfitted with a travel-lock, this bullet vibrator is fantastic whether you’re traveling across the world or just to a partner’s bedroom, says certified sex therapist Casey Tanner, LCPC, CST, founder and CEO at The Expansive Group, a queer sex therapy practice, and sex expert at pleasure-product company LELO. “Despite its subtle size, it still packs a range of intensities perfect for those exploring what feels best for their bodies without introducing the more advanced bells and whistles,” she says. Indeed, it has six speeds and five different vibrational patterns to choose from.
Who's It For: Small but rumbly, this travel-friendly vibrator can provide clitoral stimulation nearly anytime, anywhere making it an optimal option for anyone who often travels to get laid, such as one-night-stand lovers, and people in long-distance relationships.
Type: Vibrator | Speeds: 6 speeds, 5 pulse patterns
Best Air Suction: Womanizer Premium 2
Why We Love It: For cunnilingus lovers, this Womanizer toy is top dog. An air suction toy that uses Womanizer’s Patented pleasure Air Technology to encase your clit in feel-good pleasure. Many people say the sensation is similar to that of oral sex — but even more intense, so you’re more likely to orgasm! With more than 10 intensity levels (that are still quiet compared to other vibrators), you’ll be able to experiment with soft or powerful speeds until you find the one for you. It’s also waterproof, available in a variety of colors, and comes with two different sizes of stimulator heads.
Who's It For: The Womanizer Premium 2 is a fantastic choice for anyone who enjoys receiving head, or thinks they might. The toy is also whisper-quiet, which is great if you have roommates or just hate noisy vibes.
Type: Vibrator | Speeds: 14 intensity levels
Best Wand Vibrator: FemmeFunn Bougie Wand
Why We Love It: Petite but powerful, the FemmeFunn Wand is here to rock your world one clitoral or penis massage at a time. At just 5.5 inches long, the Bougie Wand wand is half the size of standard wand vibrators, but it delivers vibration just as effectively. Actually, because it is made from a super-firm body-safe metal the vibrations may feel more intense than those from silicone sex toys, as you can press it into your body more firmly. The metal is also conducive to both heat and cold, which means dunking it in warm or icy water can allow you to experiment with temperature play. Trust, it’s hot!
Who's It For: Anyone who is interested in exploring the intensity of wand vibrators, but doesn’t find their usual mega-size accessible, would be well-suited to the FemmeFunn Bougie Wand. The toy can also be used for temperature play, and thus a suitable selection for shaggers into sensation play.
Type: Vibrator | Speeds: 10 vibration modes
Best Panty Sex Toy: LOVENSE Dolce Couples Vibrator, Bluetooth Clitoris & G-spot Bullet Vibrator for Women
Why We Love It: If you and your partner are interested in exploring, wearing, or controlling a sex toy in public, Dr. Balestrieri suggests this pretty pink pick. A C-shaped vibrator, the Lovense Dolce Couples Vibrator has a smaller arm that is designed to vibrate against your clitoris or taint, while the larger arm is curved to press pleasurably against your G-spot or prostate. This smart vibe can be connected to any Bluetooth-enabled device so you can program up to 10 custom settings. Plus, it’s completely waterproof, so you can experiment in the shower or bath without worry.
Who's It For: Anyone looking for a hands-free way to stimulate two hot spots at once may enjoy the Lovense Dolce Couples Vibrator. It can also be a nice way for couples to explore double-penetration, without the addition of a third.
Type: Vibrator | Speeds: 5 speeds, 4 built-in patterns, unlimited patterns via app
Best Wearable Vibrator: Memeda Dame Products Eva II Personal Couples Massager
Why We Love It: It may look like a motorized ladybug, but the Dame Eva II is an amazing wearable vibrator for vulva-owners. The two arms that extend out from the toy’s body actually hook around your outer labia, which lock the toy in place against your clit. From here, you can either buzz your way to bliss just like that. Or, adding a toy may enhance your sexual compatibility. Pro-tip: If you enjoy vaginal intercourse, wear this cutie during missionary sex for some seriously good dual-stimulation.
Who's It For: Anyone looking for a way to add a little hands-free clitoral stimulation to their solo or partnered play should add the Dame Eva II to their shopping carts, ASAP.
Type: Vibrator | Speeds: 3 speeds
Best Non-Realistic Dildo: Lovehoney 6” Curved Silicone Suction Cup Dildo
Why We Love It: For less than $25, you get a lot of bang for your buck with this curved silicone dildo from Lovehoney. Made from sleek, non-textured silicone and just six-inches long, this pink phallus is a great size and shape for beginners, according to Worthington. The design is simple, and not too realistic to be off-putting,” she says. “It also has a nicely curved shaft and a bulbous tip that makes it easier to hit your G-spot on the front wall of your vagina.” It comes with a lot of versatility too: The base is a suction cup, which means you can stick it to the bath ledge or shower wall during solo play. It can be used with a bullet vibe (not included) to transform it into a vibrating dildo. Or, you use it with a harness for strap-on or pegging so your partner can get in on the fun, too.
Who's It For: This beginner-friendly dildo is a great option for anyone looking to explore solo penetrative play with a non-realistic dildo. The base enables the dildo to fit seamlessly into most strap-on harnesses, making it a good pick for people exploring strap-on sex, too.
Type: Dildo | Speeds: N/A
Best Realistic Dildo: Babeland New York Sex Toy Collection Shilo Dildo
Why We Love It: Hands-down, the New York Sex Toy Collective Shilo Dildo is the best realistic dildo on the market. Crafted from dual-density silicone, this dildo has a skin-like texture. It also has a posable inner core, which means that it can either be tucked down to be worn under clothing as a packer (to create a bulge in your pants) or positioned upwards to be erect for penetrative play, explains Finn. “The ability to pose Shilo at any angle bend is also great for exploring new positions or contouring to your body shape and reach as you play either hand-held or in a strap-on harness,” they explain.
Who's It For: Given that it resembles a biological penis in color and shape, the Shilo is a great option for anyone specifically interested in using a sex toy that looks like a bio-cock. This could include people who have had pleasurable experiences with penises historically and those who experience gender euphoria wearing or receiving a penis.
Type: Dildo | Speeds: N/A
Best Strap-On Harness: Babeland SpareParts Joque Harness
Why We Love It: Uber-adjustable, machine-washable, and sturdy, the SpareParts Joque Harness is perfect for any kind of strap-on sex — whether it entails fellatio on a dildo, anal intercourse (pegging) or vaginal sex. A jock-style harness, this harness may make you feel like you’re going rock climbing at first. But because the two leg straps and waist portion can be tightened for a customized fit, you can get it snugger than a bug against your body. Given that the tighter a harness is to the wearer, the greater control they’ll have over a dildo, this feature is essential. The harness also has two separate pockets which you can outfit with a bullet vibrator for additional stimulation.
Who's It For: If you're a vulva-owner who is strapping-on a dildo for sex, you really can’t do better than this comfortable, customizable option from SpareParts. If you’re a penis-owner, opt for the SpareParts Deuce instead, which has a little extra space for your penis in the gooch.
Type: Harness | Speeds: N/A
Best Stainless Steel: Njoy Pure G Spot Metal Wand
Why We Love It: If you’re looking for a non-vibrating sex toy, “you can’t do any better than the Njoy Pure Wand, which is both gorgeous and functional,” says Finn. At 7.5 inches long, it provides plenty of reach and its lustrous curve is perfect for G-zone or prostate stimulation. The stainless steel this double-ended dildo is made of is farrr heftier than other sex toy materials, which enables it to provide pressure that internal hot-spots generally respond well to, they say. “Steel is also conducive of hot and or cold, so you run under warm or cool water to add in the sensation of temperature play to your experience.”
Who's It For: Given that G-spot stimulation is thought to be one of the key components of squirting, this wand is a great option for those interested in exploring ejaculation or squirting. It’s also a good fit for people interested in experiencing the joy of a blended or prostate orgasm.
Type: Dildo | Speeds: N/A
Best Glass Sex Toy: Playboy Jewels Double
Why We Love It: This super cute iridescent glass toy is great for exploring texture and sensation. Made out of shatter-resistant borosilicate glass — which is the same kind of glass used for kitchenware — the Playboy Jewels Double is a double-ended glass dildos designed with internal stimulation in mind. “The curve section is designed to help you where the variety of sensations from the pronounced head, smooth glass, and textured nubs will provide a seriously unique stimulation,” says Finn. Plus, you can flip it to use the “handle” as the insertable toy as well for some bubbly popping sensations as the toy enters and exits the body, they say. (The toy is anal safe, but at 1.25 inches thick it may be too gritty for anal sex beginners).
Who's It For: This double-ended glass dildo, with textured details running up and down its entire shaft, is a great option for anyone looking for a non-vibrating internal stimulation toy.
Type: Double-ended dildo | Speeds: N/A
Best Sex Toy for Clitoral Stimulation: Je Joue Mimi Soft Luxury Rechargeable Clitoral Vibrator
Why We Love It: A palm vibrator that fits easily in your hand while you get handsy, the Je Joue Mimi Clitoral Vibrator is a solid selection for buzzing your rosebud. You can either press the broad side of the silicone toy against your vulva to stimulate a lot of surface area at once. Or, you can angle the rounded tip towards yourself so that it stimulates a smaller surface area, more intensely. “The soft tip provides a bit of squish, allowing you to experiment with pressure and intensity,” says Worthington. “It’s also very simple to use, so your partner can easily get the hang of it,” she adds, which makes it great for couples who are using a sex toy together for the first time.
Who's It For: The palm-sized design of this clitoral vibe makes it great for couples looking for a vibe to use together, as well as anyone who is gung-ho about external stimulation.
Type: Vibrator | Speeds: 5 speeds, 6 patterns
Best Sex Toy for Anal Stimulation: We-Vibe Ditto+
Why We Love It: Interested in tip-toeing your tushy into the wonderful world of butt plugs? There’s no better option than the We-Vibe Ditto+ butt plug. The beauty in this beginner-friendly plug comes from its unique shape. “Rather than being diamond-shaped like most butt plugs, it has a bulbous contour on just one side that makes for easier insertion,” says Dr. O’Reilly. While symmetrical plugs put pressure on both the upper and lower walls of the anal canal, the We-Vibe Ditto+ can be angled to stimulate just the side that feels best for you. This ultimately makes the sensation less intense in a way that is optimal for people new to anal. Best, the toy can be controlled from an app once it's in you, so you don’t have to reach awkwardly towards your anus.
Who's It For: If you’re just venturing into anal play territory, the We-Vibe Ditto+ is a great companion. Shaped and sized with newbies in mind, this app-controlled butt plug will help you access all the pleasure potential of the peach without pain.
Type: Vibrator | Speeds: 10 vibration modes
Best Anal Beads: Lelo Soraya Anal Beads
Why We Love It: The Lelo Soraya anal beads may look like a sorcerer's wand, but you won’t have to play pretend with this silicone string. “With four vibrating beads that get bigger as you go deeper, these beads can facilitate anal exploration at whatever pace you want,” says Tanner. Unlike butt plugs which go in your butt and stay there, anal beads are designed to be inserted and exerted over and over and over. The bead-shape massages your anal entry, while also allowing your anal opening to continuously open and close, which can create a pleasurable sensation of pressure followed by release, she explains. The unique shape and design of these beads makes them extra-easy to manipulate in a feel-good way.
Who's It For: The Lelo Soraya Anal Beads are sized to provide a non-intimidating intro to anal penetration, and are suitable for beginner and intermediate anal sex havers.
Type: Anal beads | Speeds: 8 vibration modes
Best Sex Toy for Prostate Stimulation: Aneros Helix Trident Prostate Tool
Why We Love It: If you have a prostate, it’s Doctor’s orders that you get the Aneros Helix Trident… really! “All the Aneros brand toys were developed with the medical purpose of prostate stimulation in mind,” explains Finn. This means that every contour of this uniquely-shaped toy is expertly crafted to massage the prostate gland and the perineum, they explain. It is made out of a lightweight and smooth medical-grade ABS plastic that slides in easily, and the base doubles as a handle so you can manually rock the toy to provide greater pressure on your P-spot. At 1.25 inches thick, this sex toy for prostate stimulation is suitable for people of all experience levels.
Who's It For: Bluntly, if you have a prostate you probably want to get your hands (er, hinny) on this doctor-designed stimulator. While it doesn’t vibrate, it effectively stimulates your prostate without stretching the anal opening in a way beginners may not like or be able to tolerate.
Type: Prostate stimulator | Speeds: N/A
Best C-Ring: Maude Band Vibrating Cock Ring
Why We Love It: Essentially bracelets for your boner, cock rings slide to the base of your shaft where they provide extra squeeze. There, they constrict blood flow, which keeps your penis harder for longer and also feels dang good. The Maude Band Vibrating Cock Ring is made from super-stretchy silicone, which allows it to fit comfortably around penises of all thicknesses. Encased in the ring is a motor with five different vibration speeds that can provide hands-free stimulation to the wearer. You can either place the vibrating portion on top of or below the penis, depending on whether or not you want it to stimulate your partner’s clitoris or perineum or your own testicles.
Who's It For: This vibrating cock ring from Maude is a great option for people with any size schlong looking to add a little squeeze and buzzy sensation into their play.
Type: Cock ring | Speeds: 5 vibrations
Best Sex Toy Cleaner: La Nua Foam Toy Cleaner
Why We Love It: Certainly, using and buying sex toys is more fun than cleaning them. But given that these toys are going in and around your most sensitive tissues, cleaning them after (and ideally, before) use is non-negotiable. La Nua Foam Toy Cleaner makes this step as easy as can be. Simply pump the alcohol-free foam onto your toy, use your hand to coat the toy, let it sit for fifteen seconds, then wash it off. Easy! The container is discrete and can even be left by your bathroom sink like soap between uses.
Who's It For: If you are buying a sex toy, you should also invest in a sex toy cleaner like La Nua Foam Cleaner. Discrete, body-safe, and proven to kill germs, you really can’t go wrong with this option.
Type: Cleaner | Speeds: N/A
What To Keep In Mind When Shopping For The Best Sex Toy
Type: The right sex toy for you will depend on the type of stimulation desired, budget, and your ultimate goal for enhancing your sexual experience, says certified sexologist and international pleasure coach Tyomi Morgan. Beyond intended function, “some great qualities to look for in a sex toy are its simplicity of use, its size, its quality of materials, its travel capability and ease in cleaning/storage,” she says.
Material: “Make sure that your sex toys are body-safe, meaning that they’re made out of quality materials like medical-grade silicone, steel, glass, ABS plastic, or body-safe silicone blends like TPE,” says Finn. Not only will this be better for you and your body, but these toys will last a lot longer, and be much easier to clean and care for,” they say.
Button, app, or remote control: All sex toys that are motorized — vibrators, thrusters, etc. — will have some way for you to turn the motor on, as well as cycle through the different settings. Most sex toys just have buttons on the toy handle. If this is the case with the toy you’re most interested in, make sure the button design is intuitive so you can switch between settings easily even when you’re in the throes of pleasure. Some sex toys can be controlled via app or remote-control, says Morgan. App-controlled toys can be activated from anywhere, which is great for long-distance lovers, whereas remote-controlled sex toys are controlled by a remote that is paired to the device.
Intensity, speed, and patterns: The exact sensation a vibrating toy delivers will vary toy-to-toy. Some toys emit high intensity vibrations, while others are lower intensity. Everyone has different preferences, but Dr. Cruz suggests that people new to sex toys or vibrators opt for a toy with multiple vibration settings or pulse patterns. “[That way] you’re free to adjust it to however you like it,” she says.
Your Questions, Answered
How do you know which sex toy is right for you?
Excuse the ‘duh!’ of this sentiment, but the type of sensation you like will impact the toy you buy. As a general rule, if you’re going to put something in your butt you need to buy a toy that is specifically made for the anus, like anal beads, butt plugs, and prostate plugs or massagers. Meanwhile, if you want an external massager a wand, palm, or bullet vibrator is best. And if internal vaginal stimulation is your jam, you’d be wise to get a G-spot vibrator, says Dr. Balestrieri.
If this is your first ever sex toy, Finn suggests getting a super-versatile option that can be used in multiple ways—and actually, most sex toys can. “An internal vibrator can always be held and used externally, suction toys can be great for nipple play, a wand can be used as a back massager, and a vibrating cock ring can be worn as a hand-held vibe,” they say. Still, which versatile pick you purchase will depend on your preferences.
How do you clean sex toys?
“You should check the care instructions for your specific sex toy — they should tell you what to do and what not to do,” says Worthington. However, as a general rule, toys made from body-safe materials can be cleaned with water and a mild, unscented soap. “Just lather them up, making sure to get into all the corners and crevices, then rinse off and leave to air dry,” she says. Alternatively, you can smother them with a specialized toy cleaner, and leave it on for the specified length of time before rinsing it off, she says.
Why Shop With Us
Gabrielle Kassel (she/her) is a queer sex educator and sex and relationship freelance journalist with nearly a decade of experience writing at the intersection of sexual health, queerness, and pleasure. In addition to Instyle, her work has appeared in publications such as Health, SELF, Women's Health, Men’s Health, Greatist, Bustle, and more.
For this article, she read hundreds and hundreds of online product reviews, looking for honest takes on a toy’s durability and design. She also consulted a team of sex-positive therapists and educators, including sex educator Lisa Finn, Casey Tanner, LCPC, CST a certified sex therapist, founder and CEO; Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D.; Javay Frye-Nekrasova, a Lovehoney sex educator commonly known as The Millennial Sexpert on Instagram; sex and relationship therapist Rica Cruz, PhD; psychologist and sex therapist Dr. Kate Balestrieri, sex toy reviewer Rachel Worthington; and sexologist Tyomi Morgan, for their tips and recommendations.
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