There are more unmarried people in Seattle than ever before, but that doesn’t mean they’re all single. Many are in relationships, and increasingly, couples in the city are choosing to live together without tying the knot.
Census data shows a big spike in cohabiting couples in Seattle in recent years, and their number is increasing much faster than that of married couples.
In 2022, the most recent data available, there were a record 42,000 cohabiting-couple households in Seattle, up from about 23,000 in 2010. That pencils out to an 83% increase, far outpacing the overall growth rate of households in this period, which was 33%. And to be clear, these are people in relationships. This data doesn’t count platonic roommates.
The number of married-couple households also rose but lagged behind. They increased from about 96,000 to 122,000, a growth rate of just 27%.
This rise in cohabitation is a national trend. In 2010, there were 6.8 million unmarried couples living together in the U.S. That number rose to 9.5 million in 2022.
As with many broader demographic trends, this one is more pronounced in Seattle.
The city’s 42,000 cohabiting couples made up just over 11% of total households in 2022 — that’s roughly 1 out of 9 households. In the nation as a whole, cohabiting couples represent a little more than 7%.
Among the 50 largest U.S. cities, there is only one with a higher concentration of cohabiting couples. And this must be another one of those Pacific Northwest things because that city is — you guessed it — Portland. Thirteen percent of the Rose City’s households were unmarried partners.
Religion, or lack of it, could play a role. Data shows people who are not religious are less likely to marry and more likely to live with an unmarried partner. In a recent column, I wrote about survey data showing Seattle to be the least religious major U.S. metro area.
Austin, Texas, ranked third at 11%.
Most large cities have a higher share of cohabiting couples than the national average, but there were a few exceptions. El Paso, Texas, had the lowest percentage of unmarried-partner households, at 6%, followed by Detroit and San Jose.
In case you’re wondering, the Census Bureau does not attempt to count less conventional domestic-partner arrangements, such as polyamory. If it did, I have a feeling Seattle and Portland would again stand out from the pack.
Of Seattle’s nearly 42,000 cohabiting couples, only about 2,400, or less than 6%, had children under 18 in the household. That’s much lower than the 42% of married couples who have kids.
The 2020 census showed 88% of Seattle’s cohabiting couples were a man and a woman and 12% were same-sex couples.
The rise in cohabitation doesn’t necessarily reflect a rejection of marriage. For some, it’s just a delay, as people are typically marrying later than decades ago. Census data shows the median age at first marriage has increased significantly. In Washington, it was around 30 for men and 28 for women in 2022.
But it’s also true that our attitudes toward both marriage and cohabitation have changed. While it was once generally frowned upon for couples to live together outside of marriage, that is not so much the case anymore. A Pew Research Center survey from 2019 found nearly half of adults felt couples were just as well off if they decide to stay together long term and not marry.
The Pew survey also found one thing that’s pushing many unmarried couples to live together is the significant cost savings of sharing a home. About 40% of cohabiting adults cited finances as a major reason for moving in together. Only 13% of married adults cited finances as a reason for marrying.
But even if some folks have fallen out of love with the idea of marriage, that doesn’t mean romance is dead. The top reason for living with a partner, cited by 73%, was love.
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