The two of them converged on the same seat at the same time. He was much older, and she was much younger, in the greater scheme of things, but both of them had cut in front of another. And that didn’t seem to matter to either one of them.
They both looked genuinely surprised at the other, as each had one hand on the barstool.
“I was here first,” he said to the woman, tugging on the barstool with one hand.
“No, I was here first, said the younger woman, tugging on the stool’s other side.
They both stared at each other.
“I thought you’d be a gentleman,” said the woman.
“And I thought you’d be a lady,” said the man.
Meanwhile another man stood slightly back, unsure of what exactly was happening. Often in civic circumstances the civil are relegated to the outside. As was the case with that man, and with me. Unfortunately, I was just about to get involved, job to do and all that.
“I’m handicapped,” said the man.
“I’m pregnant,” said the woman.
And with that I took a step back. There was no way I was going to intervene in something like that. And then it only got worse.
The woman looked the man up and down distastefully. And he did the same to her. When people are used to gaining an advantage because of a disadvantage they often don’t know what to do when confronted with another’s disadvantage. Sometimes they bond over it. And sometimes they don’t.
“How do I know you are handicapped?” she said to the older man, asking a question specifically forbidden to restaurant employees, in particular, when confronted with service animals.
California has recently specifically separated the idea of a “service animal” from an “emotional support animal.” Service animals are specifically excluded from laws forbidding animals in food service establishments, whereas emotional support animals are not. Furthermore, it is a misdemeanor to misrepresent an emotional support animal as a service animal (punishable by up to 6 months in jail and/or a $1,000 fine). Straight forward enough, right? Except for one thing, nobody (but presumably a peace officer) can ask for verification distinguishing between the two. Strange, that in order to park in a disabled (handicapped) parking space you need a clearly visible placard identifying that fact, but in order to bring an animal into a food service facility (which is specifically forbidden by law) you need nothing, save for the animal.
The great irony is that rules are no good if the following of those rules is left up to the individual. My recent trip to Japan showed me how different cultures look at this concept. In Japan 80 people will stand at a stoplight that is red, even when there is no traffic visible in any direction. Nobody even considers crossing until the light changes green. There is nobody is telling them not to, and there is nobody making sure that they don’t, they just don’t.
Just stand at any street crossing in San Francisco, or Mill Valley, or Novato and tell me what you see? What you will see is nobody waiting. As soon as one person crosses, so will all the rest. And one person will cross almost immediately, regardless of the color of the light, and sometimes in spite of it.
In 1926, President Calvin Coolidge gave a speech on the 150th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence, saying, “It is not the enactment, but the observance of laws, that creates the character of a nation.” And I believe he was right.
“How do I know you are pregnant?” the older man retorted.
We had now come full circle. I looked at the two of them and at the man standing patiently behind them. He walked away first, and then so did I.
Leaving me with these thoughts:
• Fighting for a defenseless person is one thing, fighting for a defensive person is quite another.
• “He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight,” wrote Sun Tzu in “The Art of War.”
• “True victory is victory over self,” wrote Morehei Ueshiba, in “The Art of Peace.”
• Calvin Coolidge had a special connection to Independence Day; he was the only U.S. president born on the Fourth of July.
• California Penal Code Section 365.7, if you are looking.
• In the Declaration of Independence, the very first example in the case against King George reads: “He has refused his assent to laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.”
• A fight can begin, and end, with two losers.
Jeff Burkhart is the author of “Twenty Years Behind Bars: The Spirited Adventures of a Real Bartender” and an award-winning bartender at a local restaurant. Follow him at jeffburkhart.net and contact him at jeff@thebarflyonline.com.
