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Self-Harm

If I Got Corona-Cut

Tactics for getting a job fast.

Source: Michael Raphael/FEMA, Public Domain
Source: Michael Raphael/FEMA, Public Domain

Amid the millions who’ve lost their job because of the economic shutdown, knowing what I know as a career counselor, this is what I’d do.

Cut expenses. Cutting my burn rate will also cut my sense of desperation. And that’s crucial, not just to avoid poverty but because I won’t be sound so desperate in interviews nor be so desperate that I’d take even a bad job. I’d be granular in my cost-cutting, even down to cutting paper towels in half. The small stuff adds up.

Phone, email, and/or LinkedIn-InMail everyone I know who likes me, past and present. Of course, most of them can’t hire me, but people know people. For example, I'm no dentist but know a great one. I’d give a brief pitch such as, “I was doing fine as a communications person, writing press releases, talking with the media, writing reports, and then, amid COVID, they let a number of us go. I’m wondering if you know someone who might be in a position to hire me.”

I’d call 20, 30, 50 people and do it all in one day, so I got the ball rolling immediately.

Walk in to local businesses. In some states, businesses are reopening. It’s harder to turn down a flesh-and-blood person than a disembodied email. Of course, my hit rate would be low but I’d don my thickest skin and just shrug when they give me a disparaging look or out-and-out reject me.

I might even wear a sandwich board and, as business districts re-opened, walk along my city’s downtown. The sign might say “COVID victim … of job loss. Need a good communications specialist? Talk to me."

Maybe start a pop-up small business, for example, selling seasonal items. This is the start of the COVID-canceled baseball season but many people are still in the baseball-season spirit, so I might sell baseball caps, even out of a cardboard box, near, as transit reopens, at a terminal.

Preserve my sense of self-worth. Even if I had to accept a low-level job, there's a chance that if I was a good and low-maintenance worker, the employer might move me up. If after even the first few days I sense I'd be treated poorly, I'd resume my job search. There are some lousy and some good employers out there. I wouldn't let myself get mistreated.

The takeaway

Amid the corona sadness and fear, it’s easy to become inert and, for example, just wait for the government "CARES" and unemployment checks. But it’s often more lucrative and certainly more empowering to take action. Perhaps one of the aforementioned actions appeals to you.

I read this aloud on YouTube.

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