A woman went out with a man she had met on a dating website, and, on the way home at 2 a.m., police tried to pull him over for a tag violation. He then led them on a high-speed chase through Palm Coast, Fla. He told the woman – who he had not given his real name – that he didn’t have a valid license, but officers suspected a more extensive rap sheet. The cops stopped his car with spike strips, and the guy ran off into the woods.
OK, KID, LICENSE AND REGISTRATION … A 2 1/2-year-old boy got very excited when he saw the rides being constructed at the Chisago County Fair near his home in Rush City, Minn. When the fair opened, he took his father’s battery-powered John Deere tractor and drove there. The cops caught up to him at the Tilt-a-Whirl.
BUT JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY, HOW MUCH OF A DISCOUNT? … When a woman went to a body shop in Ferguson, Mo., to get an estimate to fix her car, he said he would give her a discount, “If you pull up your shirt and show me your breasts.” She declined. Then she called the cops.
OH, LIBERTY BUSINESS? STEP THIS WAY, SIR … A man with mental problems showed up at the Pentagon to attend to “liberty business.” Police searched his car and found a loaded 12-gauge shotgun, an 18-inch machete and a bottle of Jim Beam Vanilla bourbon.
YEAH, THAT OUGHTA DO IT … A man stole a bottle of ketchup from a restaurant in Lacey, Township, N.J., but, feeling guilty, left two new bottles there, along with a letter saying that someone crashed into his car a few hours after the theft, and that his karma, luck and life have not gone well ever since. He said he hoped that the gesture would turn things around for him.
OK, YOU WIN, SMOOTH TALKER, I’M YOURS … In an apparent effort to get a date, a man sent a woman, who had rarely spoken to him, 10,000 sexually explicit or threatening text messages over 12 days, including one saying he was ready to “start blowing up planes.” Police involvement resulted.
VERY CLEVER, MA’AM … A woman called 911 to report her car stolen as the cops were chasing her to trick them into thinking she wasn’t the one driving the car. The police had pulled her over in Clinton, Iowa, but she sped off and tried to elude them, going through stop signs, and running red lights to no avail.
NO SIR, ALL CHILDREN DON’T LOOK THE SAME … A man went to the wrong day care center in St. Louis to drop off his girlfriend’s two children. Workers told him that they had never seen the kids before, but he insisted they were mistaken and left them there.
HEY BOB, CUSTOMER IN AISLE THREE … A drunken driver lost control of his car after failing to hit the brakes and slammed into a brakes store in Greenville, S.C.
