Verified by 
I resolve to work harder than ever to make my mental health organization a success. My dream is to make this venture self-sustaining so I can leave my current full-time job and devote 100% of my time to working on BWellBStrongBPD.
Fortunate to be a morning person by nature, I’m usually up by 4 a.m., if not earlier, and work for a couple of hours before it’s time to walk my dog Shelby at 6 a.m. and get ready for my full-time job for which I have to log on to my computer, which is in my living room, at 8 a.m.
I work until 5 p.m., and depending on the evening, I often have something scheduled that night — I might have a Zoom session or right now, I’m taking a master writing class on Wednesday nights, and on Tuesday evenings, I’m observing a family program for borderline personality disorder, so I can co-lead my own class starting next year. I have a standing physical therapy appointment one night a week because my body is so messed up from 25 years of malnutrition, osteoporosis, and time spent sitting hunched over a computer.
On the nights when I don’t have something scheduled and on the weekends, I work on the business. I’m either writing and querying articles or developing new webinars. Right now I’m focusing on writing a book. I also do some coaching on a virtual platform called Hey Peers!
My goal is to fight the stigma of mental illness by speaking (if we are ever allowed to gather in a room together again), writing, and by becoming an influencer in the mental health community. My mission is to spread the word that recovery from borderline personality disorder is possible.
I launched the website on March 5 of this year, right as the pandemic was taking hold. I didn’t even know what the word “pivot” meant. Prior to launching, I was speaking at local libraries. At times, when I get another rejection from a query, I wonder if I’m too old to be doing this. Then I think of my mother who was working at her own computer software development company right up to a month before she passed away from pancreatic cancer at 68. She worked 10-, 12-hour days, six or seven days a week to make the business a success. I know she is guiding me through my entrepreneurial journey and she is extremely proud of me.
When I’m working on tasks for my organization, I’m enjoying what I’m doing immensely and I don’t feel as though I’m working. I’m working towards a larger goal and I always have that in the back of my mind. I’ve written about some of the recent challenges I’m encountering with my current full-time job, but I’m grateful to have a job that pays the bill and gives me health insurance so I can pursue my passion.
Leaving my full-time job isn’t feasible as much as I would like to. I was hospitalized three times this year for medical reasons, plus I've had numerous doctor’s appointments and multiple medications. I need health insurance until I can afford good health insurance on my own and can also afford to pay my bills. I didn’t have any income this year from the business. I don’t know if that is falling short, it being the first year with the pandemic. I have no bar against which to judge as the “product” is me, not a chocolate bar or a clothing line.
When I’m not working at my day job—and even when I am, sometimes—I’m thinking of my business. I’m thinking of ways in which I can raise awareness and I’m jotting down notes to develop further when I get off work. When I'm walking Shelby, I'm thinking. When I'm in the shower, I'm thinking. I'm always thinking.
I can and I will.
Thanks for reading.
Andrea
