Roy Exum
I can never remember having to water outdoor plants in May so here’s hoping we’ll get some rain later this week. But listen to me talk! My rhododendron blossoms have never been as pretty as I take my monthly stroll through the garden and the magnolia trees are beginning to pop their beautiful white blooms so it’s the grass that you can tell really needs water. Then again, the soil lab down in Camilla, Georgia told me to add sulfur to the spring fertilizer so, just maybe, I “kilt” the grass.
Then again, the potash last fall was a big help.
It dawned on me some time ago to test my soil in the front yards like we did for years at the farm and, if you want a gorgeous yard, ignore Dooley down as the gas station on get a soil kit from the folks in Foley, Ala. The website, www.soilkit.com will get you going. Lord knows I’ve killed more grass on the advice of those whose yards aren’t very pretty. (You can also write to them for information at Soil Kit, 110 East Azalea Ave., Foley, AL 36535-2540)
A lack of rain didn’t stop a great spring crop of our monthly helping of orchids and onions:
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AN ORCHID for the life of ‘service to others’ that the late state Rep. Mike Carter offered as an example.
AN ONION to the fact every city in the United State that fell for that “Defund The Police” garbage has had a record number of shootings. Thus far in 2021, Chicago has had 250 killed and 1,440 wounded.
AN ORCHID for these graduation-advice words from ‘Harry Potter’ creator J.K. Rowling: “It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you may as well not lived at all --- which is failure by default.”
AN ONION to the streets genius that has allowed upper Ochs Highway on Lookout Mountain to become the most decayed piece of highway in Tennessee, bar none. Soon you’ll need four-wheel drive … it’s that bad.
AN ORCHID to Baylor School’s softball and baseball dynasties, to McCallie’s track team, and all of the individual state champs in our tristate communities.
AN ONION to those who think if they pass up the COVID-19 vaccine it won’t possibly hurt anyone else, most especially those they love.
AN ORCHID to Phil Mickelson, who just won the PGA tournament at age 50. “It’s very possible that this is the last tournament I ever win, like if I’m being realistic,” Mickelson said. “But it’s also very possible that I may have had a little bit of a breakthrough in some of my focus and maybe I go on a little bit of a run. I don’t know … But the point is that there’s no reason why I or anybody else can’t do it at a later age. It just takes a little bit more work.”
AN ONION to those who scoffed a week earlier when “Lefty” accepted an exemption to play in the U.S. Open (because of being ranked at No. 115 in the world and winless the last two years, he no longer was exempt from qualifying.) The U.S. Open is June 17-20 at Torrey Pines (South) in San Diego.
AN ORCHID to the wisdom: “Never measure God’s unlimited power by your limited expectations.”
AN ONION to the legal notice in the newspaper from Tarrant County, Texas, that begins – “Greetings: You have been sued …” Wonder what the Christmas cards like?
AN ORCHID to the county Health Department’s Becky Barnes and County Mayor Jim Coppinger for being there “when all hell broke loose” and for every person, paid or volunteer, who now knows the human spirit is bigger than any pandemic.
AN ONION to the news that of 40 million used cars that are sold in the United States each year, federal estimates are 450,000 of them have illegally altered odometers. What worse is that I know some people like that.
AN ORCHID to my favorite friend in junior high school – Bill McMahan -- who just closes a book of 50 years spent at Baylor School. It’d be hard to say he might epitomize the best coach I’ve ever seen but he’s tied for first.
AN ONION to Anthony Bouchard, a candidate for Congress running against Liz Cheney in Wyoming, who admitted he impregnated a 14-year-old girl when he was 18. Knowing some Wyoming people, he’s lucky to be alive, but I don’t believe I’d have told that one, brother.
AN ORCHID for Charles Barkley, who grew up in Leeds, Ala. (Pop. 11,773) and made a visit to the city’s Department of Education not long ago. The NBA great wanted to know how many employees worked for the school system where he graduated back in 1981. “Janitors, maintenance, librarians … everybody…” Told it was about 226, Barkley got a piece of paper out of his pocket and wrote the correct number. It was a check. He then made three circles behind the number, signed the check with a flourish and instructed, “Make sure every one gets $1,000 from a grateful pupil … What they’ve gone through with COVID has been brutal … and let me know if we’ve forgotten anybody.”
AN ONION to St. Louis Mayor Tishaura Jones who is keen on her “defund the police” pledge and plans to close the city jail, this when St. Louis has the worst-in-the-country murder rate (per capita), and the department has nearly 100 unfilled jobs. The new mayor says those positions will be vacated.
AN ORCHID for not having to wear facemasks. To God be the glory!
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royexum@aol.com