Memory Loss with Aging

Note: This article was taken from a larger piece that is published in the 11/21/19 edition of Mystic Times, a division of the New London DAY paper. For further info, go to: theday.com

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As I approach the age of 80 starting to forget little details, I'm reminded of my late mother in the last years of her life. She suffered from Alzheimer's Dementia, which is not Alzheimer's but very similar to it in terms of memory loss. She required the services of a specialized nursing home that focused on providing a safe environment.

It was frustrating for me to watch Mother deteriorate after she had led such an active, athletic life and disorienting to deal with the fact that she did not recognize me as her son most of the time. It took me a while to adjust to her new personality and I felt that nothing had prepared me for these visits.

On October 27, 2019, I attended an excellent program at the Noank Baptist Church led by Patty Borden O'Brian, CDP, a Dementia Specialist from Hartford Healthcare Center for Healthy Aging. Her purpose was to give the audience brief introductory training on effective methods for communicating with a client who suffers from memory loss that is not a normal part of the aging process, and causes shrinkage of the brain over time.

Dementia affects nationally over 5.7 million clients per year and is expected to affect 14 million per year by 2050. It can be frustrating for clients who now find they are unable to drive properly or perform simple tasks or recognize people they used to know, which results in inappropriate behavior. The best way to handle such clients is by direct eye contact, calm voice, short comments and listening to their concerns without expressing criticisms.

It is important to validate the client's feelings and to lead them ("let's go to the dining room this way" as opposed to giving them an order "don't go that way"). By leading them, you reduce the possibility of confusion. Also, when asking a question, give clients a few seconds to respond. Their thinking process and their understanding takes longer.

When arriving for a visit, leave your overcoat out in the hallway so they don't try to go "home" with you when you leave. And never say "goodbye" when leaving. They need to feel that they are already "home."

In conclusion, the many additional points Mrs. O'Brian mentioned are too numerous for this article. I recommend that anyone contemplating treatment of a family member should consult with professionals to help make transitions easier. Every situation is unique and proper communication makes the difference.