Recovery: What is it?

May 9—EDITOR'S NOTE — This story is the second of two in a subseries. The first piece appeared in the weekend edition. This subseries is part of a large-scale, ongoing series that will include features related to the opioid crisis.

Cody Williams, a peer recovery support specialist for Pathways, and Brittany Herrington, the coordinator of that group, know the definition of addiction from their own experiences. They know what recovery is, too, and they're aware it's not always successful.

"There are a million fingers in what allows for recovery — if I don't have a shelter, food to eat, basic needs, love, support or hope, why would I quit using? I need to have some of those needs met to help me quit," Herrington said. "What we try to do is check-mark all the boxes to make that recovery as successful as it can be. But even then, we can have most of the boxes check-marked and someone will still relapse."

Continued Herrington: "I was telling a new girl here the other day, I've seen clients where the needs are met and the light is on, then they turn around and get high. Then I see a guy who is living on a Central Park bench who we're feeding with the granola bars we hand out in our baskets and he somehow navigates his way to a year."

One term bantered around recovery circles that's made its way into popular culture is "rock bottom" or "the bottom" for short. The idea is, something happens that is so terrible, so bad the addict or alcoholic wakes up, surveys the damage around them and realizes they have to make a change.

Herrrington said the bottom is essential.

"A bottom is critical, but each person's bottom is different. A bottom gives people desperation and desperation is critical for willingness. I don't think hopelessness is critical, but desperation is. Some people get desperate crashing a car. Other have to lose their kids. Others have suicide attempts."

But in order to reach that bottom, they have to be alive. That's where Narcan comes into play.

"They can't recover if they're dead," she said. "I've known people who have turned their life around who have been Narcanned multiple times. If they hadn't been, the world would've never known them."

Recovery is possible

When Williams sat in that car to cash in those funny money checks in Boyd and Greenup, he didn't realize it but he was heading for a bottom. His associates and he made some money, then he found out he had warrants — so he took off to Nashville, Tennessee.

"There, I figured I'd drink," he said. "I figured I'd drink and I wouldn't be a junkie anymore. It turns out, I got in a lot more trouble with alcohol than I did with dope."

He was an emotional drinker, winding up in the ER with suicide threats. Eventually, law enforcement became involved and they ran a background check on him, flagging him on the warrants. From there, he was whisked away to face his charges in this corner of the Bluegrass State.

He'd do some time — 23 months between the two county clinks. When he was released, something happened that he never had happened before — a person came into the jail and asked him what his next move was.

"I told them I was scared and I didn't know what to do," he said.

They suggested long-term rehab — he agreed. He wound up at the Morehead Inspiration Center, a Recovery Kentucky rehab. The system consists of 14 privately owned rehabs that contract with the state's Department of Corrections for reentry, as well as self-referrals. It's free and taxpayer-funded, but it's hard, Herrington said.

She should know — she graduated one of the women's centers in the state.

"They're structured and they're hard as crap, but they're free," she said. "They're 12-step based and they're difficult."

After spending some time there, Williams left and immediately started hitting 12-step recovery meetings. From there, it's been a wild ride, with multiple ups and downs, but despite everything, he's stayed sober these past five years.

Ask anyone involved in addiction and they'll say one of the key components of recovery is the support found in 12-step fellowships.

Mariann Mota, who the director of addiction services for Pathways, isn't an addict herself. But having worked in the field since Williams and Herrington were babies, she's seen enough of it to know recovery is possible, but there needs to be support.

"Addiction is not just a physical issue, actual recovery means addressing the mental and spiritual issues as well," she said. "It's a lifelong process of renewing and bettering oneself. The 12 steps of recovery help heal relationships with others and makes you accountable for your actions. It's about growing and changing. Being abstinent is essential for recovery, but you also have to look at the underlying mental health conditions, too."

While putting the bottle or the needle down is the first step towards sobriety, Mota said in order for a sustainable recovery to take hold, the addict or alcoholic has to change "people, places and things."

"They can't go back into the same environment in which they used, because they will use," she said. "They need to be around sober people who will support them. What we've seen over the last 15 years is the age of first use is starting earlier and earlier, and they were introduced to it by a family member. Typically there's an abuse component there too, so that make things really messy."

Being around those sober people can literally save a life, according to Williams. He found out couldn't "play slot machines like a gentleman" and found himself making the drive to Cross Lanes in order to try his luck on the one-armed bandits.

"I talked it over with my support group and they told me it probably wasn't a good situation to be in," Williams said. "I need to have people around me who are honest with me and hold me accountable, because even though I have five years' sobriety, I can act 20 days or even 20 minutes sober real quick."

Herrington's position was created to essentially be peer support for the peer support specialist, among other duties. The idea of peer support is a recovering drug addict or alcoholic who has a stretch of sobriety will help someone who is new navigate the twists and turns of recovery.

"A therapist comes into the office and she can leave her skeletons in the closet at home," Herrington said. "As a peer support specialist, you're constantly sharing your story, things you are ashamed about to people all the time. That can wear on you after awhile. It can either enhance your recovery or it can take a toll on it."

The peer supports aren't exempt from doing the daily grind of recovery — and even they need support, out and away from work, found in 12-step fellowships.

There is no cure from alcoholism or drug addiction — it must be treated throughout one's life. Going back to the diabetes analogy, Mota said recovery from addition requires changes in behavior and lifestyle — but the stakes are even higher.

"We see it happen, where someone who is seemingly doing good slips back into their old ways and they wind up dead because they don't have the tolerance," Mota said. "Or the fentanyl in the heroin kills them. You don't see that type of instant death with other conditions like diabetes."

And for many in recovery, learning how to deal with life's everyday tasks is paramount. Finding a job, holding it down, paying bills — things that average people do on the day-to-day can be a struggle for people who have never done it before due to drugs and booze, Mota said.

"The most exciting thing for us is to see people get out on their own and become responsible members of society," she said. "They get the cable bill in their name, they pay it on time. They're working for money, not scamming or borrowing .... for people who have never paid their bills due to their addiction, that's a huge win."

The Scarlet Letter

Even if sober for a while, the alcoholic or the drug addict still has some odds to face. Despite some sober time, they still have a brain that if given the opportunity will kill them in a sea of Seagram's Gin and a deluge of dope.

One of the biggest gaps Herrington identified in supporting those in recovery is the lack of employers who will give them a shot. A lot of these guys and gals have spotty employment records. An even bigger issue is many have felonies on their records — and a lot of employers have zero tolerance policies.

"We need second-chance employers so bad," she said. "Sure, they might get burned here and there, but they can also be a part of something positive too. The thing with a lot of recovering addicts, especially felons, have a lot to prove. They'll work hard."

Even in the medical field, Mota said stigma is still something that has to be broken. It's understandable — the doctors and the nurses in the ER's see the addicted come in all the time, whether it be on an overdose or due to an abscess as a result of shooting up. They get treated for their immediate needs, but then leave, do no follow ups and wind up back there again in short order.

"They're (ER staff) are burnt out," she said. "We started introducing peer supports into area hospitals and at first there was some resistance. Then they saw them show up everyday to work, then they see them connecting with these people in addiction. Next thing you know, they transitioned from resisting it to embracing it."

Williams said he has run up into the old adage, "well, why don't you quit?"

"I'd hear that and say sarcastically, 'Oh, I'm why didn't I think of that?' I didn't know why I couldn't quit, I didn't know what was wrong with me," he said. "That's how powerful this is. I think that outlook is due to people being uneducated around the issue."

Just wider support from the community for recovery and for seeing the sick and suffering addict as a sick person, not a bad person, Herrington said.

"What people fail to remember is that under the symptoms we see, under the lies, the theft, the manipulation, the deceit, the dishonesty, there's a good human. That's my son at 13, that's that genuine interest for life. It's just foggy. And we see the sores on their face, the pin holes in their arms, the eyes that are decrepit and empty, the good person is still in there. It's just lost, it's under a blanket, it's still in there," Herrington said.

The biggest advocate for people in recovery and even drug addicts still in active use are the people themselves, Herrington said.

"I truly think the more people who become sober and talk about their recovery, the more it becomes acceptable. They're not as shameful about it, families are talking about their children, their brothers and themselves. Because other people are doing it, they're not feeling as ashamed or criticized or condemned. I think the biggest part of shattering this stigma is people in recovery. It takes courage. Every time we advocate for ourselves, we put ourselves at risk," Herrington said.