I am not going to pretend to be a psychiatrist (although, I’ve taken a couple of psychology classes in college and, therefore, possess all the answers), but I have noticed a large number of people tend to self-sabotage their job searches and are their own worst enemies. Maybe they are afraid of success? Perhaps, fear of the unknown forces them into bad decision making? Could it be the cognitive dissonance emanating from their subconscious minds screaming out that they hate the career paths that they are on and somewhere within the deep, dark internal recesses of the mind, they are crying out for help?
Instead of delving into the psychology of why many people engage in self-destructive behaviors, I’d like to share some warning signs to help you. If you are exhibiting these behaviors, you should take a step back, analyze what you are doing, think of why you are engaging in these destructive behaviors and decide what to do next.
This self-destructive pattern while interviewing is similar to dating. Your online dating picture and profile hasn't been updated in years, which only leads to awkwardness and disappointment when you ultimately meet your date for the first time. You finally get the phone number of a person you worshiped since high school, but won't call until weeks later. If the person miraculously calls back, you are busy and then forget to return the call. You are given another chance, but cancel the date two hours before you are supposed to meet because you lost all track of time playing Fortnite with your friends. You drink way too much, say the all wrong things and make a few bad, inappropriate and offensive jokes at a dinner party in honor of your date’s grandparents’ 65th wedding anniversary. Oh, you also forgot that the dress code is formal attire and you wore a tee shirt and ripped jeans. How many times can you forget an anniversary or birthday? Seriously, did you not notice the brand new outfit and change in hairstyle? Did you really think she likes that you spend Sunday, Monday and Thursday nights out with the boys watching football and drinking beers?
These actions are eerily similar to when you are looking for a new job. The same self-defeating principles are at play. Here are some examples of what I've seen happen all too often.
It could start with the résumé. For some reason, job seekers feel it is fine to share a résumé that has typos, grammatical errors, leaves off important information, offers scant details about the jobs held and contains a ridiculously silly email address. Their LinkedIn profile is equally lackluster. Rather than optimize it to get the attention of recruiters, hiring managers and human resources, the profile is bare bones and devoid of any in-depth descriptions of the jobs they held. In fact, the most recent, relevant position is glaringly absent from the profile and the contact information is an email from their last job that is inactive.
These self-saboteurs ignore recruiters, avoid networking with industry professionals and neglect talking with friends and colleagues to get leads on jobs. When they do get contacted by recruiters, they don't return calls in a timely manner or forget to clear out their voicemails making it impossible to leave a message. When they do call—of course—it is at odd times of the morning or night when the other party in obviously unavailable. The same holds true for interviews. They never offer reasonable times to interview. The times they provide are usually too obnoxiously early in the morning before anyone normal person starts the day or aggressively late in the evening when everyone already left to go home. Also, they are quick to cancel interviews at a moment’s notice, when it is convenient for them and terribly inconvenient for the interviewers. If they finally acquiesce to an interview, their pompous and condescending tone is off-putting. Of course, they are dismissive of the security guards asking for identification to enter the building and then they bark orders at the receptionist. When asked about themselves, the person scowls and says in an irritated and sneering tone, “It's all on the résumé. Didn't you read it?” They act bored and bothered in the interview process, annoyed that the interviewer doesn't immediately recognize how amazing they are.
When it comes time to negotiating a salary, they tend to demand significantly too much money without any reasonable basis for the ultimatum. Instead of conducting rational discussions, they push, fight, argue, cajole and relentlessly debate over every single little point. There is no compromise; only they are in the right.
You may think that this is an exaggeration, but trust me; this is only a very small sampling of what I've seen and heard over the years.
Here is the takeaway that I believe will help you. Think of all the little, incremental actions that you are taking in your approach to interviewing. Are you paying attention to the important details on the résumé and LinkedIn? Are your résumé and LinkedIn profile the best marketing products that you could offer to the world? Are you positively and enthusiastically networking every chance you can? Do you work well and play well with others? Have you offered reasonable times to interview? Are you a pretentious jerk when it comes to negotiations? The solution to success is simple. Do the opposite of what you have been doing and stop self-sabotaging yourself.
