It is almost time for the Oscars and I have one thing to say:
Let Hillary Clinton host!
It makes perfect sense.
The Democrats and mainstream media remind us on an almost daily basis that Clinton won the popular vote. She should have been the President, they tell us ad nauseam.
Even before the elections, former President Barack Obama said, “And that’s why I can say with confidence there has never been a man or a woman — not me, not Bill, nobody — more qualified than Hillary Clinton to serve as president of the United States of America.”
So if the progressives are still convinced that Hillary would have been an astounding leader of the free world, then surely she can handle a hosting gig.
Hosting the Oscars could be the ideal PR opportunity for the two-time presidential loser.
While she might not be running again, that doesn’t mean she isn’t angling for something else.
Recently, while being interviewed by Ellen DeGeneres (a former Oscars host herself), Clinton said she would “never say never” to being vice president on a 2020 ticket.
While I don’t foresee Bernie Sanders pairing up with the former Secretary of State even if she were the last person on earth, she might have a shot with the more desperate Democrats like Joe Biden and Elizabeth Warren.
If patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel, Hillary could be the last refuge of an also-ran.
But the competition for VP is tough and Hillary Clinton has a knack for losing. So my advice to Hillary would be to utilize the Oscars as a chance to showcase her famous charm in front Hollywood’s elite.
The opening monologue could feature some of Clinton’s best material, including her “basket of deplorables” bit. That one is an oldie but goodie.
I know what you’re thinking. Why would she repeat that joke? That comment lost her the election! But let me remind you, Hillary will be hosting this event for her contemporaries. It is about impressing the beautiful people in the room and woke progressives watching at home. They all feel the exact same way about Trump supporters as she does.
Even with Hillary’s often stiff and stale delivery, there is no way she could bomb with such a warm audience. She will be amongst close friends and political supporters like Elton John and Scarlett Johansson. Her pals can echo her sentiments throughout the three-plus hour night. Robert De Niro can be on standby in case Hillary starts coughing. He is always at the ready with a “bleep Trump” tirade.
Bobby would appreciate the stage time as well considering he was snubbed from the Oscar nominations and this might be his only chance to remind us that he hates the President.
Unfortunately for Hillary, her dear friend Harvey Weinstein will likely be unable to attend Sunday’s festivities. But nevertheless she will persist.
While the social justice warriors enjoy their plant-based dinners courtesy of Wolfgang Puck, Hillary could compare private jet sizes with Leo DiCaprio.
Perhaps she’d get some face time with the Netflix head honchos and she could strong-arm them in between her hosting duties. Why should Barack and Michelle make all the streaming money?
Hillary and Bill need to pay the bills too you know. Cattle futures don’t get you as far as they used to.
Oh and don’t forget Clinton’s own masterpiece was released at Sundance in January.
The documentary aptly titled “Hillary” is a riveting and layered look at Mrs. Clinton, according to critics. It is also four hours long but please don’t let that small detail deter you from renting it.
To my dismay, I noticed that this masterpiece was not nominated for an Oscar. That’s right. Hillary is not nominated for Best Picture or Best Documentary.
At the risk of jumping to conclusions I’d just like to say … the entire Oscars is rigged. Hillary should have won. The Russians are interfering with our award shows and we’re letting it happen. All roads lead to Putin.
This injustice has got me thinking … we need to overhaul the Oscars voting system.
The Academy members clearly don’t know what they’re doing. I’m going to invent a voting app for next year’s awards. If anyone has a direct line to Pete Buttigieg, please let him know we are looking for investors.
Anyway, if Hillary’s people are listening: get her to LA!
I should probably mention that an overwhelming majority of viewers prefer that Bernie host the Oscars instead of Hillary. However, after some serious consideration Tom Perez decided he wouldn’t fare as well with audiences. Maybe next year Bernie!
