‘Halo’ and ‘Candy’ Prove That Pablo Schreiber Is Hot AF

Once upon a time, Pablo Schreiber was best known for Pornstache, the perpetually creepy guard in Orange Is the New Black. Those days are long gone. Halo and Candy have officially completed the argument that American Gods started. Pablo Schreiber is an insanely sexy man, and we need to start adding him to more thirst trap roundups.

Schreiber has always been praised for his dramatic chops, and it’s not hard to understand why. Even as far back as The Wire, he’s been able to infuse his characters with a mix of conflicted masculinity and vulnerability. Schreiber’s characters are often duty-bound tough guys who could also benefit from a hug and a soft-spoken “It’s OK, bud.” In most of his roles, Schreiber has absolutely been typecast. But when you’re one of the best people in Hollywood to channel a very specific type of law-adjacent man, that comes with the territory of being very good at your job. But it wasn’t until American Gods that a project really capitalized on his sex appeal.

As unhinged as it sounds, Mad Sweeney the leprechaun was just hot. He had a devilish hair and beard combo and loved to wear tank tops that were just a smidge too tight. He spoke in a gruff Irish accent and seemed to savor his endless arguments and brawls. American Gods elevated the average Schreiber guy beyond the warriors and authority figures we’ve seen in the past and confirmed the voice that’s been whispering in the back of all of our heads: This great actor is fine as hell.

That’s the sort of horny energy Schreiber’s latest roles have gleefully embraced. Early in Halo, the typically armored Master Chief stripped all the way down. It was a scene about John-117’s newfound sense of vulnerability and his slow appreciation and acceptance of his humanity. But it was also a moment that lingered on every scar, muscle, and butt cheek. Master Chief sexual side emerged again in Halo‘s second to last episode thanks to a sex scene between John and Makee (Charlie Murphy). Considering Master Chief’s child soldier roots, it may be the most sensual scene ever filmed of a grown man losing his virginity.

Then there was Candy, a show that didn’t imply that Schreiber’s character was a sex symbol. It flat out said it. After a volleyball game that’s more sweat than sports, Candy (Jessica Biel) got into the married Allan’s (Schreiber) car. That’s when she laid out her offer: “I find you attractive. And, well, I’d like to have an affair.” Considering the fact that Candy is based on a real case that ended with a woman dying, the series made the wise choice not to show anything too graphic. But every time Candy brags about her new lover and how much fun they’re having in the bedroom, it’s Schreiber’s face that comes to mind. It also doesn’t hurt that he’s one of maybe 20 men in the world who can pull off a ’70s style mustache. In Candy, the pornstache works.

Sometimes people come out as surprise hot. That’s never been the case with Schreiber. He’s been hot all along, but we were too blinded by his great performances to notice. Let him into the super sexy celebrities club.