'Selfless' LI Father Laid To Rest: 'Till We Meet Again, My Love'

AQUEBOGUE, NY — No pandemic could stop the many who loved him from saying a broken-hearted good-bye to Matthew Rolle, a young husband and father from Aquebogue who died at 36 after a battle with cancer.

A funeral service held at Sacred Heart Parish in Cutchogue Tuesday, and although pandemic protocols meant mourners were unable to visit the church, many watched together as the service was broadcast live on YouTube.

At the service, Matt's father Mark, his voice laced with tears, spoke of the young man who touched lives and hearts with his infectious smile, giving heart, and love of family.

"There can be no worse experience than for a parent to lose a child, or a spouse to lose the love of their life and the father of their children," he said.

But for all the tears and heartbreak, there were shining moments of good, as a loving community came together to lift Matt up with so much love during the months of his journey, Mark said.

Mark thanked the many who wrapped their arms around Matt, and his wife Haley and children Clayton and Lylah, as his son faced one-and-a-half years of chemotherapy and more than 100 days of surgeries and procedures at the Cleveland Clinic.

From the bracelets worn by friends and strangers who "went to bat for Matt," the softball game, Kait's Angel's events, and a cornhole competition, all held to raise funds, to a GoFundMe page, a meal train, raffles and bake sales, the generosity of the community meant everything, Mark said.

In the days before he died, the Cutchogue Fire Department where Matt was a longtime devoted member — as well as the Mattituck and Riverhead Fire Departments — drove up in a blaze of lights and sound to the Rolle house, where Matt was able to watch the display of pure love and his kids were able to see Santa, Mrs. Claus and their reindeer, Mark said.

Matt also thanked the Riverhead Central School District, where his son worked, for the outpouring of support, including colleagues who chipped in sick days to help.

As he spoke, the fire alarm went off in the church, sparking laughter and smiles. "This is fitting for Matt, to do this to us," Mark said, laughing. "We'll remember this."

He shared stories of Matt and his brother Mike playing paintball as kids and hunting geese just a few months earlier.

Matt, Mark said, used to sit through many lectures from his dad. "Matt, this is not another lecture. It's a proud father talking about his son, who we all miss a whole lot," he said, tears streaming.

Mark vowed to tell Matt's children about their father, about his athletic finesse, and about his deep belief in the importance of family and friends. He will tell them about their father's fierce patriotism and love of country, about how their father was an avid hunter and fisherman — sports their Uncle Mike will teach them in the years ahead, remembering Matt in every bright morning by the water.

He will tell his grandchildren that their father "loved them more than they will ever know. And that he will be watching over them and their mommy."

During the past three years, Mark said he has tried hard to find any good in his son's struggle. He found that good in the love of community, he said — a hometown has helped their family to go on.

In the days before he died, a stranger from Queens sent Matt a letter, saying that in his 63 years he had never found the love Matt had found in his wife and children, had never touched as many lives.

"What you do in life is more important than how long you live," the man wrote.

Mark added that he will carry his son's memory into the future in every story he tells his grandchildren about their father, whose fierce love is eternal. "What will keep me going is making sure Clayton and Lylah will always know who their father was, and that someday, I will be with him again," he said.

Matt's wife Haley shared words of love with her husband after the funeral. "My best friend, love of my life, and soulmate was laid to rest yesterday. As hard as it will be without you physically here, I have peace knowing that you are finally resting comfortably. I know that you will be with me every single day, raising our children to be the best versions of themselves. I promise to never let them forget their father. I promise to tell stories and show them photos and videos of all of the amazing times we’ve shared," she said.

"You are the most incredible human being I’ve ever been around; always so positive, kind, and genuine," Haley aid. "My life will forever be changed and it still hasn’t hit me that you’re not here. Thank you for sharing your life with me and making beautiful memories. Till we meet again, my love."

"He was a friend to many of us," the Cutchogue Fire Department said, adding that Matt joined. the CFD in 2008 and served as a lieutenant, past chairman of the annual chicken barbecue, and was a member of the drill team and band.

"Matt never complained through the three years of treatments and surgeries," Haley said. "He always had a smile on his face and said he would never give up. He was a true fighter until the end. Such an admirable quality in a person."

Through the three years of Matt’s cancer battle, something he always said was, "One foot in front of the other," Haley said. "Day by day, one step at a time. He always remained so positive and I hope that his positivity can be an inspiration to others, no matter what you’re going through."

To that end, she has ordered bracelets as a reminder of her husband's life and positivity, to convey his message and beautiful spirit to others. The bracelets will be available for adults and children in early February and are free, she said. "This is something I know he’d want me to do.

Haley said she has no words to explain all of the ups and downs and battles she and Matt faced.

"I am thankful for my time with Matt, the beautiful children we’ve created that will carry on his spirit, and to our amazing families that have always been there for us," she said. "We are forever grateful for the entire community for the outpouring of love, support, and prayers."

Her husband, she said, leaves a legacy laced with love. "Everyone that knew Matt knew what a gentle giant he was, how selfless he was, and what a genuinely kind person he was. Why his time on this earth was cut short, I won’t ever understand, but he is now at peace."