All products featured on Condé Nast Traveler are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.
Phobias are a weird thing. They can lie dormant in your psyche, hidden until you come face to face with that singular thing that triggers a visceral reaction. Or they can be omnipresent, severely impacting your daily life if your phobia relates to something commonplace. A phobia is an “intense, irrational fear of something that poses little or no actualy danger” that can relate to anything from an object, an animal or a place to a situation or a feeling.
When it comes to traveling, however, a fear of flying can be deeply debilitating. “For me, flying was a tortuous experience. I’d spend the weeks before terrified of what was to come, and for the entire flight, I’d be gripping onto my seat or my partner, praying to whoever was listening and making promises to myself if I made it through,” Megan Wilkes, Condé Nast Traveller’s art production manager, tells us. “I was quite literally convinced I was going to die, and this happened every single time I flew anywhere. “
Below, we take a look at exactly what aerophobia is and which are the best tried-and-tested ways to overcome a fear of flying.
What is a fear of flying?
“Fear of flying is an irrational fear that the plane is a dangerous environment that needs to be avoided,” explains chartered psychologist Dr. Mark Rackley. “The person with this phobia generalizes that all planes are dangerous, and so creates an association in their brain between flying and a threat to life.”
“The brain then creates a relationship between flying, planes, distorted thinking around what could happen, worry and anxiety symptoms borne out of fear, and then the behavioral piece, which is avoiding flying at all costs.”
What are the symptoms of aerophobia?
“This phobia is serious, as the person has made an association between flying and risk of death,” Rackley says. “The symptoms are excessive worry, anxiety and panic when it comes to flying. Panic attacks, hyper-vigilance and extreme emotional distress are symptoms, too. The brain is hardwired to help us avoid death and threat, so will react with avoidance when flying becomes a phobia.”
“I become very fearful when I board a plane because my anxiety makes me feel that I won’t see my family and friends again if the plane crashes,” says Amber Port, Condé Nast Traveller’s audience development manager. “I can become incredibly worried beforehand, which makes the entire flying experience less than ideal.”
Why is fear of flying such a common phobia?
According to Cleveland Clinic, aerophobia affects around 25 million people in the US. Part of the reason for this phobia being so common is the rapid growth of the aviation industry. For the Baby Boomer generation, flying was a scary concept, but they didn’t have to experience it very often. Today, many people travel by plane multiple times per year, resulting in more people having to frequently face a fear of flying.
“We are flying and traveling more than ever now,” Mackley tells us. “We also have more information about flying, planes, crashes and technology. People with a fear of flying tend to struggle with worry and anxiety anyway, in some form, in day-to-day life. Therefore, they do not like uncertainty and not being in control of outcomes. Flying requires that they relinquish control over to the pilot and agree to be passive. This is deemed too risky and so best avoided.”
“It actually helped me to find out that I wasn’t alone with my phobia,” Megan admits. “I did my own research, comparing all sorts of stats for flying against other means of everyday transport, and having open conversations about it with the people around me instead of being embarrassed and feeling alone. It was so interesting to find out that almost everyone I spoke to, while they may not have had a phobia, still had their own little habits, home comforts and herbal remedies.”
Can you cure a fear of flying?
Luckily, there are several ways those suffering can manage a fear of flying. Below, we talk to people with aerophobia about the methods that help them cope when flying.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
“CBT is the best way to treat a fear of flying. With a fear of flying, the person uses their emotional brain to inform them. When fear is produced, it turns our rational thoughts into fear-based thoughts, which direct our decisions,” Rackley explains. “With CBT, we move back from fear-based thoughts to rational thoughts—so, instead of reacting to what the feeling is telling is, we focus on what the evidence tells us. The person creates a different association in their brain between flying and how they think and feel. Typically, CBT might also include some exposure work, too, to get them back on the plane and flying again.”
Using CBT helped Megan overcome her fear of flying. “I originally started Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help with a fear of public speaking,” Megan tells us. “Sessions focus on the origin of the fear—the root of my experiences and figuring out where the fear comes from. Through this, my anxieties around other things were eked out and we ended up discussing my fear of flying.”
“I learned that information seems to be key in CBT; the more you know about and understand the fear, the less power it has. I don’t believe there is a cure-all for any kind of fear, but I think taking steps towards managing and understanding it better can help those feeling powerless regain some control.”
Hypnotherapy
Hypnotherapy is a proven form of therapy to address a fear of flying. “I tried hypnotherapy years ago and it definitely helped with my fear of flying and claustrophobia,” Gerry Bryson, who has suffered from aerophobia her whole life, tells us. “I was skeptical at first—the expert I went to trained with hypnotherapist Paul McKenna, and I expected it to be someone swinging a pocket watch in front of my face—but it was nothing like that.”
“The hypnotherapist spoke to me about what my deepest fears were, and we talked through lots of different scenarios and practiced touching pressure points when I felt particularly nervous,” she explains. “After several sessions, I took my first flight and felt so much better, and I still use the methods I learned when I fly now.”
There are several different ways and techniques of using hypnotherapy to help with aerophobia. “Hypnotherapy can help because the brain can’t tell the difference between imagination and reality,” explains Penny Ling, member of the Hypnotherapy Directory. “When working with a client who suffers from a fear of flying, it is key to get the person in a relaxed state and to scramble any negative experiences. Then, you can get them to rehearse in their minds the best flight they could want and repeat it until the thought of flying isn’t as intense.”
“There is also the ‘rewind technique,’ which changes the fearful into the funny,” she continues. “By using our sense of humor, we can change the way we feel. One client I saw used a visualization of Morecambe and Wise as air hostesses to make her roar with laughter. When she arrived back from holiday, she reported back that every time she saw one of the flight attendants she burst out laughing.”
Rituals
Creating rituals is another tried-and-tested method of reducing stress or anxiety when flying. It’s a form of control – allowing passengers to feel as though they are in a familiar place or situation, and therefore reducing the fear associated with traveling by plane.
“I listen to the same song whenever I take off. It helps me keep calm,” Amber tells us. “There’s something about having a ritual that makes me feel like I’m more in control. I also like to watch the flight attendants as they move around the cabin—they are so at ease, just getting on with their job, so clearly unfazed by the fact that we are flying. It puts my mind to rest knowing how comfortable they feel.”
“Creating rituals can be a helpful strategy for managing and potentially overcoming a phobia like aerophobia. Rituals can provide a sense of control, comfort, and predictability in situations that provoke anxiety,” says Hypnotherapy Directory member Soraya Mansour.
“Visualization and relaxation techniques like practicing deep breathing; pre-flight preparation with tasks you find comforting and grounding; education and exposure about the mechanics of flying to demystify the experience, or affirmations to reinforce positive beliefs about flying and your ability to cope with any anxiety that arises are all recommended rituals,” she advises.
“By incorporating these rituals and tips into your preparation for flying, you can empower yourself to manage anxiety more effectively and gradually overcome your fear of flying. Remember to be patient and compassionate with yourself throughout the process, and celebrate your progress, no matter how small.”
Exposure
For some people, having conversations with those who help make sure flights are as safe and secure as possible can help reduce anxieties around flying. Several airlines offer courses that allow nervous flyers to understand the mechanics of aviation and what really happens when a plane takes off. Chantel Tattoli wrote about her experience with Air France's two-part in-person atelier in December, which you can read about here.
The British Airways Flying with Confidence Course is a one-day course run by pilots and cabin crew, with a 98 percent success rate in helping nervous flyers overcome their fears. The course is split into three sections, including a presentation by BA pilots, psychologist talks, and a short flight with a running commentary from a pilot explaining exactly what is happening at each stage of the journey.
easyJet offer a similar Fearless Flyer course, “suitable for anyone who is a nervous flyer, whether they experience slight anxiety or whether they have never flown before and with a success rate of more than 95%” for phobia flyers, says Captain Chris Foster, Fearless Flyer Lead Pilot at easyJet. The session includes a virtual ground course with top phobia expert Lawrence Leyton and a senior easyJet captain to run through the unfamiliar sounds and sensations on aircrafts, and teach different techniques to cope with nervousness, plus a one-hour long flight with a live commentary.
A version of this story originally appeared in Condé Nast Traveller.