Why Gabrielle Union Is ‘Transparent’ with Her Kids to Give Them a ‘Real Understanding’ of Who She Is (Exclusive)

"I think a lot of times as parents, we never want to admit that we don't know," Union tells PEOPLE

Gabrielle Union and Kaavia James Union Wade
Gabrielle Union and daughter Kaavia. Photo:

Monica Schipper/Getty 

Gabrielle Union strives to be her most authentic self when she's with her kids.

In this week's issue of PEOPLE, the actress and Knix ambassador, 51, explains how she tries to create an environment of transparency with her kids to ensure that they know who she really is.

Union is mom to daughter Kaavia, 5, whom she shares with husband Dwyane Wade, 42. She is also stepmom to Wade's three kids Zaire, 21, Zaya, 16, and Xavier, 10, whom he shares with ex-wife Siovaughn Funches. The basketball player is also the legal guardian of his nephew, Dahveon Morris, 21.

"I think a lot of times as parents, we never want to admit that we don't know. We haven't had a clue sometimes and sometimes we need help or sometimes we have to search out the information. We want to appear to be in control, all-knowing, at all times," Union tells PEOPLE.

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"We don't also really want to be that transparent because we're afraid of being judged and we want to be able to control how other people see us. And all that does is create an illusion of who we are and it closes the door to real intimacy within the family, real information and a real understanding of who your parents are."

The model notes that her mom is turning 77 and is just now telling her stories, and Union says she wishes she knew these stories earlier in life.

"I don't want to learn about you at 77, I could have had a whole different relationship with you had I gotten these stories and this information and your fears, your hopes, your dreams when I was growing up," the actress says. "So I want Kaavia and Zaya to know me, not the illusion of what I want them to think."

In March, Union and Wade accompanied their daughter Zaya on a tour of the University of Washington in Seattle, with the proud dad documenting the visit with a sweet Instagram post.

In Wade's photos, the trio walked around campus, enjoying some of the greenery, architecture and study spaces the college has to offer. Another picture showed the father-daughter duo smiling together.

In the caption of the post, the NBA alum could not contain his excitement, writing, “We’re in the College Visits season!!!”

For more on PEOPLE's interview with Union, pick up the new issue on stands now.

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