Here's The Story: The Tellers of High Bridge

- [Announcer] Here's the story.

[gentle music] [gentle music continues] [gentle music continues] [gentle music continues] [gentle music continues] [gentle music continues] [gentle music continues] [gentle music continues] [cars faintly whizzing] [upbeat music] [attendees faintly speaking and laughing] - [Gina] Are y'all ready?

- [Will] As we'll ever be.

- All right, I think we're ready, folks.

Hi, everybody.

Welcome to StorySlam, we are your hosts, I'm Gina Sampaio.

- I'm Will Reisen.

- [laughing] "Welcome to the family," if you haven't been here before, and that is the theme for tonight.

And it's a little bit of a family here at StorySlam.

We started in February or March of 2022 and we've.

- March, 9th of March.

- My name is Gina Sampaio, I am the Executive Director for the Red Mill Museum Village, and I am a storyteller here at Scout Story Science.

Welcome to StorySlam.

- My name's Will Reisen.

[audience clapping] [audience cheering] I work for Meals on Wheels as an coordinator, and I am a storyteller, I tell stories.

- [Interviewer] Will, look towards me.

- Yeah, I looked right at the camera, didn't I?

[laughing] [interviewer laughing] I couldn't help it, I didn't think it, I don't know, all right.

- [Interviewer] That's okay, that's okay.

- Should I do it again?

- No.

- Okay, cool.

- It was good.

[upbeat music] What is a StorySlam?

- So, a StorySlam is just an opportunity for the public to come, and we have a theme every month, and people just sign their names up, and then they tell a story that fits in that theme.

Now, sometimes people get nervous 'cause they don't know, they think it has to be very strict in that theme.

But as time has gone on, we've been here almost two years now, and we have our regular followers and they have come to understand that it doesn't have to be very pigeonholed, they can think outside the box.

And I think it helps, too, even if when they're new here, 'cause a lot of times people show up for the first time and they're like, "Well, I don't know if I have a story that fits the theme."

And I always tell them, "Just wait, just listen to some of the stories, and then see if you feel like," or sometimes they're nervous, but they have to just get the vibe and see that it's very welcoming.

And then sometimes they put their name on later.

So we always pass the clipboard around, again, maybe two times to see if somebody's changed their mind, and usually they have.

- [Interviewer] Awesome.

- And what are the rules tonight, Will?

- Well, your story should be five minutes or so.

- Ish.

- Less is more.

- So I mean, they're kinda generalized, the story needs to be true to the best of your memory, five-ish minutes.

Will likes to tell people not to curse too much.

But then at the last Slam, I think I only curse once and Will cursed three or four times.

- What the [bleep]?

What the [bleep]?

What the [bleep]?

I try to keep the cursing to a minimum, just 'cause I think there's better ways to tell a story.

I mean, I curse a lot in my normal life, but I don't know, I think there's something to be said for being able to speak well without resorting to that.

It's kinda like saying, "Um," or, "Like," people just drop F-bombs instead.

- I have one curse word to make.

- I mean, you can curse, but just don't drop F-bombs every other word.

- It's an F-bomb.

[laughing] - I don't care.

[audience laughing] How many?

You get three.

- It's just one, it's just one.

And it's funny because he still always brings that one up, but it was only because one storyteller who's only come once, and it was, I mean, a year and a half ago.

I mean, she was dropping F-bombs like every other word.

[audience laughing] Just it didn't add anything to the story.

So he's got a little chip on his shoulder about that one.

- And I don't like it, but I get made fun of for that.

- [Interviewer] What makes a great story to your mind?

- [sighing] Hmm, what makes a great story?

I like to have a little bit of humor, even when I'm talking about something that's typically not funny.

I can't help it, that's just been a survival mechanism for me in dealing with traumas.

And humor is relatable no matter what the topic is.

So I do think a little bit of humor is good.

I don't know, as long as there's something in there that you can relate to.

[upbeat music] - All right, so, as you guys know, I often think of my story at the last minute, maybe on the way over.

- Okay, this story takes place on a hot-summer Friday in New York City.

- And so this was the starting of the gel of this family that I got to be with.

- So 1945, my dad comes home from World War II.

- My story is about Christmas, becoming a member of a family, and whiskey.

[audience laughing] - My mother had this very old suitcase.

[audience laughing] - So my sister and I went to high school in Brooklyn.

You could tell by our accent, right?

- My story goes back to senior year of high school, the time in our lives where we're asked, as 18-year-olds, to make decisions that will affect us for the rest of our lives.

- This was a really tough one, guys, 'cause there's a lot of good stories, "Welcome to the family," but I'm gonna go with one about Mom.

It's a little at Mom's expense, but it's really at my father's expense.

So listen carefully.

[everybody laughing] - My dad was able to touch his tongue to his nose.

His sister, his parents could all touch their tongues to their nose.

And they're having this huge wedding.

And my dad was the youngest one in his family and my mom was the youngest one in hers.

So there are many cousins, many brothers, many sisters.

It is a huge wedding.

- And this was where, let's see, I first found out Samantha was a Trekkie, found out Fred was gay, I found out that both Woody and Andrew, even though one, at least to my little Midwestern head, was Black and one was white, were both, in fact, Puerto Rican.

- And my mother proceeded to spend weeks, I mean, weeks, probably six weeks baking cookies.

- On that Saturday morning, I get up on the stool, I brush my teeth, I spit out the toothpaste, I look in the mirror, and this happens.

[audience laughing] - And my mother-in-law was so excited to have her first Christmas in this big house.

She had it all decorated.

The table was set, the dinner was in the oven.

She had her little Christmas apron on.

- I'm looking inside, and sure enough, there's all kinds of memorabilia.

There's menus and newspaper clippings and photographs, and there's letters.

- And the cookies are all on platters, right?

There's platters of cookies, and they're everywhere.

- And I run into my brother's bedroom where he's studying his Haftarah, and I look at him and I go.

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah ♪ "I'm gonna be in the tongue-touching-nose picture and you're not."

[grunting] Just then, he takes his fist, hits me on the bottom of my chin.

[audience laughing] And the pain is incredible.

I'm talking about, I mean, there's saliva, there is blood, there is urine, there is sweat.

[audience laughing] And my tongue is blown up with pain.

And of course, now, I can no longer touch my tongue to my nose.

[audience laughing] - I stand up, and my head is in smoke, and I'm like, "Does anybody else notice there's smoke?"

And then my father-in-law stands up, he says, "Yes, there's something wrong."

And he runs upstairs and he sees that the wall behind the chimney of the fireplace is bursting out in flames.

[audience gasping] - I said, "Well, should I lock the dog up in the bedroom or will you keep an eye on the dog?"

And she denies any of this ever happened.

[audience laughing] - In Brooklyn, at the time, you would take a set amount of courses in arithmetic or English.

At the end of two or three semesters, you would have to take a big exam called a Regents.

And we had to take trigonometry Regent, and I loved it.

My sister was beside herself.

[sister laughing] So what we did was we switched.

[audience laughing] - [Interviewer] What makes a great story, too?

- Well, as I've learned, and from doing this specifically, the ending.

You gotta stick the landing.

It's like a joke, you have to have a punchline, has to go somewhere.

Everything else is just build up.

And it's all kind of about the climax.

And not every story has one, and I guess not every story needs one, but.

And especially after doing it for so long and kinda watching so many other people do it and having a little perspective, you kinda can tell when other people should end their stories.

And sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's hard.

I sometimes will think, "Aw, I should've ended it here, this was the point."

But I have so much else to say, and that's where you kinda get into a little prep, a little composition.

If these are the things you wanna make sure are said, but this is where you wanna end it, you gotta find a way to get all that in where it belongs.

- So finally, the swelling goes down.

- I open the door, and everyone is crying.

[audience laughing] - So as I'm reading these letters, I'm thinking of my parents in a different manner altogether.

I'm saying, "They had hopes, they had dreams, they were thinking of the future.

They had their whole lives ahead of 'em."

And life never turns out the way you plan and you dream.

But I saw my parents in a totally different light, I saw them not as my parents, but as, come on, kids basically.

- And there I am in the front row when my Aunt Rose and Uncle Charlie and my dad all organize the picture.

And there I am as the youngest one, I'm nine years old, I'm in my little blue tuxedo, and I'm there very proudly with all the older relatives.

[audience laughing] - And my mother is in the kitchen screaming.

[audience laughing] "How dare she?

How dare she?"

And I walk into the kitchen and she lunges at me.

[audience laughing] And says, "She ate 1/3 of all the cookies."

- And she was so heartbroken that right after the seventh inning stretch, she gave me a wet willy.

[audience laughing] And I was officially part of the family.

[audience clapping] - There was water all over the kitchen [laughing] from the hoses.

[audience laughing] We were drunk, I don't know what happened with dinner.

[audience laughing] But it was fixed for the next year, and we had the perfect Christmas the next year.

And my mother-in-law, rest in peace, knew her a lot of years, but whiskey always helped.

[audience laughing and clapping] - Make a long story short, we graduate at 16 years old.

[sister and audience laughing] My parents think we're geniuses.

[audience laughing] - For years, to this day, when I get together with my brother and his wife, my sister-in-law always finds a moment to go, "How dare she?"

[audience laughing] [audience clapping] - Give your parents, give your grandparents a break.

They made mistakes when they were younger, but I don't know if I'm one of those mistakes, [laughing] I could be.

[audience laughing] I think I may have been, [laughing] but there's my story.

[audience clapping] Thank you.

- So in saying all that, I consider all these people to be a big part of who I am.

They're as integral to my story as any lame first date, nickname, or any other obscure pop cultural reference that I always make.

And I'm grateful for the influence that they've had on me.

And with that, I also have to say thank you to all of you for letting me chew your ears off for six minutes at a time.

[audience laughing] So with that, happy holidays, and make sure you tip your elves.

I don't think Santa does minimum wage.

[audience laughing and clapping] - So at the risk of being the person that always tells stories about my kids, I'm gonna tell a story about my kids tonight.

[audience laughing] And since most of you here already know about our family, you know that my husband and I have five children and that we adopted three of them.

So I was naive enough to think that taking a class, the Bradley method of childbirth, and reading a book and talking to women who had been through it before was enough to prepare me for what to expect when I went into labor.

And of course, that was inadequate.

[laughing] But the only thing that really clued me in as to what I could expect was when my midwife told me that she was glad that I'd shared with her that I was a rape survivor, because said, "For some of us, the complete loss of bodily autonomy during childbirth can be triggering."

So I was glad that she told me that, but for me, it wasn't triggering, but I soon learned what she meant because my body began doing things without my consent.

[audience laughing] And then when it came time to push during that two hours of pushing, I thought to myself several times, "I cannot believe women do this twice."

[audience laughing] But about half an hour after childbirth, when I had this tiny, perfect, amazing, beautiful human being in my hands, I may have been overheard as to say, "It wasn't that bad."

[audience laughing] And then I was actually back [laughing] at the birthing center so soon that the labor and delivery nurses remembered me and asked how our daughter was.

[audience laughing] So going into it the second time, this time, I knew what to expect.

I did not make a playlist.

And even though my husband was terrific the first time, there was one area I thought he could be a little stronger at, and I asked him to please support me more during the transition period.

So if you're unfamiliar, that is right before a woman enters the pushing phase and she can really start to experience crushing feelings of self-doubt.

So I asked him if he could support me more, and of course, he said yes, but that backfired completely, because when I started to think to myself, "I can't do this," I had this angry dialogue in my head where I was like, "I have to push now and I can't do it because I'm too tired and I'm not gonna tell him that I can't do it 'cause he's gonna tell me that I can do it because I told him to tell me that I can, so I'm not gonna tell him that I can't."

So I didn't.

[laughing] But my baby's head felt like it was literally between my knees, and I didn't know why nobody was helping me.

So then I shouted at them all, "Pull it out already."

[audience laughing] And my midwife took my hand and she said, "Gina, I want you to feel where your baby is."

And she did not put my hand down here, that baby was still very far inside of me.

So that's when I started to cry and whine and carry on about, "I can't do this, I've been laboring all night already.

I'm exhausted and I can't do it.

I do not have the energy to push for two hours now."

And the midwife and the nurses all said, they were like, "Oh, Gina, no, no, no, honey, this is your second baby, this is not gonna be two hours."

And I didn't believe them, but they were right because, this time, I only pushed for an hour and 45 minutes.

[audience laughing] Fast-forward five years, and it's time to put our daughter on the bus to go to kindergarten for the first time.

And I didn't really think I was gonna cry, but I cried.

It got subsequently easier with each child.

And I'm pretty sure by the fifth kid, I did cry again, tears of joy.

[audience laughing] Fast-forward again, and it was time to take our daughter to college somehow.

And driving her out to Pittsburgh, that wasn't hard.

Meeting her roommate and helping her set up her freshman dorm, not hard at all.

It was exciting to see her get started on this new chapter.

But getting back in the car to drive five hours to New Jersey without her was exponentially harder than watching the kindergarten bus pull away.

Now, our son is only a year behind his sister, so he was starting to look at colleges at the time, and he said, "Oh, Pittsburgh seems kind of cool."

And I was like, "Just go there then.

Selfishly, to have you in the same city and the same schedule, it would just be easier for us."

And I thought to myself, too, "God forbid there's ever any kind of emergency, at least they would be in the same city."

So he applied there and he did get in.

My daughter had spring break and she came home, and then the pandemic started and the university said, "Don't come back."

So she finished her freshman year at home virtually on the computer.

And then when her brother joined her, he was in his own bedroom on the computer.

In January, they got to go back to campus, except that my son was put up in a hotel room and our daughter was in a dorm suite by herself.

And even though the younger kids were starting to have hybrid classes, the college kids were still just completely virtual.

And for all the different populations that I felt bad for during that isolation, I felt especially bad for the college students.

I felt like they were supposed to be learning who they were without their parents, living in a city, meeting people, experiencing new things, and instead, they were cooped up in their rooms on their computers.

They came home for the summer, and then when they went back for their sophomore and junior years, they got to go live with friends and have classes in person.

And I was so grateful, and I just knew that I was never gonna take that for granted again, what a privilege that is that they were getting to experience.

And I was so happy for them that I didn't cry at all on the way back home.

Now, I don't think the two of them planned to get together much right away after spending so many months cooped up together during the pandemic.

But then they ran into each other at a protest.

[audience laughing] And I thought, "My work here is done."

[audience laughing] And you're welcome, world.

[audience laughing and clapping] [upbeat music] [cars faintly whizzing] - [Interviewer] Why are events like this important to small towns like this one?

- Right, right.

Well, but the other thing is, because where we live there are [sighing] little towns and they're spaced out, but then there's also, like where I live up the hills, Lebanon Township, we don't have a main street.

So in a way, this is my town 'cause it's the closest thing to a town, but I'm not a High Bridge resident.

So in a way, when we do have these little main street sections, this is where the people from all [laughing] the surrounding areas can come and go to.

I think it's tied to the larger story of what's happening in High Bridge.

When I was growing up, because I grew up around here, I mean, you didn't really wanna go to High Bridge, it was the kinda a place that had its heyday, and then it kinda didn't.

And then there's been a few attempts at reviving it.

And I think because there's so little to do around here, [sighing] you get to a certain age, you're not kids anymore and you're not like just going out to bars like, "What are you going to do?"

And now we have the great coffee shop during the day, she has a lot of awesome events on the weekends at night, we have the vintage shop.

There's so many things that are starting to happen here.

I think people are just thirsty for something else to do.

[car engine rumbling] let's see what's happening inside here.

[door squeaking] - Hey.

- What are you doing here?

- Welcome, welcome.

- How's it going?

- [Nicole] Oh, you know, it's going.

What's happening?

- I've got my entourage.

[Gina laughing] - Yeah, I mean, like you should, as you should.

- It's just a regular day for me.

- I moved here from a city, and in cities, you find community in these readily available ways.

You find community when you go to the subway, there's a community within that car.

And you find community in the grocery store when there's like 100 other people shopping at the exact same time.

But I think with that lifestyle that people are living here, people are seeking this connection, to learn who their neighbors are and to find common ground and to make friendships, to meet other moms, or to meet other artists, or whatever it is that's happening.

What I've fallen in love with this town for is the quirks.

We just have these little quirks that can only happen in this small town.

And you can come up with an idea and you can execute it, and by and large, the residents of the town will be behind you, they'll show up, because everybody's just craving the next new exciting thing.

So that's what's great about this town.

[laughing] We're really barely making ends meet at this point because it's like, we just had this kid, we were supporting an entire family on this small business, but we were doing it.

But we were ready for health benefits, we were ready for like financial security and some stability and some some steadiness to our life.

And then we know what happened March 9th, right?

So my husband was just starting to put together his resume.

We were just starting to do this transition, and March 9th, Governor Murphy said that the schools were closed.

And I knew soon after that meant that my business was gonna be impacted.

So I sat outside on this beautiful March day, because I don't know if you guys remember, but March, 2020, happened to be this gorgeous month.

And we all spent time outside, right?

And we all envisioned what life was gonna be like.

And I sat outside and I just thought, "I really think that I need to take two weeks off."

That's what I told myself, "I'm gonna take two weeks off," figure out how I was gonna navigate this moment.

Like, "Do I close the cafe, just call it a day, we did an awesome job here, and I can move on to something else?"

And then all of a sudden, all of these emails and DMs and messages on Facebook and notes in the mail started pouring in from the community.

And they were like, "We need you here.

What can we do to make sure that you feel comfortable?

And what can we do to make sure you stay?"

And then the other amazing thing that started happening was people were buying these gift cards in bulk, thousands of dollars were coming in.

And it moved me.

To me, this is the investment that the community was making on my business with no return, with no guarantee that we would even be open, that they can come back and redeem the cards.

They were giving it to me and my family, so that we could sustain our life, and.

So yeah, that sustained me, both in a mental capacity, just knowing that people believed in what we were doing and that we meant something to them, but it also sustained me in a way that I could pay my bills.

At the very least, I can continue to keep one or two baristas on.

And I was sitting outside, my friend Andrew came by, and I was nearly in tears, I'm like, "I don't know what I'm gonna do, I don't know if this is gonna work, I don't know what's gonna happen."

And he was like, "You know, Nicole, we're not gonna let you close, you know that, right?"

[everybody laughing] He was like, "You're not going anywhere."

And there was something about the conviction in his voice, I knew that he was telling me the truth.

I knew that that was genuinely not only how he felt, but it was how a lot of people felt.

I think that it was the first time that I understood what community love was.

We know friendship love and we know romantic love so well, because we see this portrayed on TV and in movies, but community love isn't portrayed as much, and that's what it looked like.

And sometimes, I was putting this story together and I started crying as I was recalling these moments because it is just so moving what people can do together and that you cared to support me and this dream.

I didn't go to business school, I'm an artist, so I very much view this as this is my art, I'm creating art.

I come in here, and whatever it is that I think of, I do.

I'm not necessarily here thinking about, I mean, I do have to think about my margins, but.

[everybody laughing] But I'm thinking about, "Well, I have this idea I want to work with this flavor," or, "I wanna work with these people," or, "I wanna see this happen," and I do it.

And there's something special about what happens here in High Bridge and what happens in this Northern Hunterdon community that supports that in this really unique special way.

And I just think that StorySlam is also kind of like an extension of that.

So anyway, I just, I say it all the time, but I feel like it's something that could never be overstated, I'm just so grateful for what this community has done for me and my business.

And I'm also so grateful that you responded to my heartbreak, and surviving postpartum depression, followed by just having this courage to move forward through this pandemic was just huge.

So that's my story, so thank you.

[laughing] [audience clapping] [audience cheering] [bright music] [train rattling] [indistinct]