10 Things to Know If You Aren't Hiring a Wedding Planner

Establish your expectations.

If you're not a professional wedding planner, don't expect to know the ins and outs of the industry. Wedding planners have deep networks of vendors they can reach out to for a last-minute event or to get a great deal on an events package. Compile a list of a few favorite vendors and go from there, but be prepared that not everyone may get back to you in your time limit before moving onto someone else. Don't expect every aspect of planning to go off without a hitch, but prep for the hiccups along the way.

Start and stay organized.

"You’ll be getting a lot of emails with or without a planner either way, but they will multiply exponentially when you’re planning a wedding on your own," says Chang. "Being organized in your email will really help you when you’re in the thick of things." Organization is key to making sure nothing falls through the cracks. Keep a master list of tasks to get done throughout the design and planning process, contact information, and add dates and deadlines to your calendar. Many couples find that creating a separate email address for all wedding-related communications helps them keep the planning emails separate from work and personal emails, which can pile up quickly.

Book vendors early.

If you’re not hiring a wedding planner for your big day, you’re better off getting on your vendor’s schedule well ahead of your wedding day. Booking early will help ensure you get the vendors you want and reduce stress in the months and weeks leading up to your wedding once you know your vendors are locked in.

Dedicate a few hours every week to planning.

Wedding planning is a job, and if you’re not going to pay for it in money, you’ll most certainly be paying in time. "You don’t want wedding planning to take over your life, but simultaneously you need to get stuff done," says Chang. "Dedicate an hour or two a day and/or a chunk of time on the weekend to wedding stuff. That way, you’re still moving forward, but it won’t consume your life."

Designate someone as your day-of manager.

It’s expected that you’ll experience at least a little pre-wedding stress. There are a million decisions you have to make, contracts to sign, and emails to respond to. However, wedding day stress is completely avoidable if you designate someone to handle all of those last-minute decisions on the actual day of the wedding. 

"They don’t need to do everything for you, but you need someone as the point person who can make decisions on your behalf that isn’t you because you want to be able to enjoy your wedding day," explains Chang. 

Seek out advice from professionals.

"You don’t want to be getting your planning information from other [couples]," warns Chang. "That’s just the blind leading the blind."

Couples are only the experts in planning their own weddings, while wedding planners often have tens and hundreds of different types of weddings under their belt. Chang suggests following wedding planner blogs, other vendor’s blogs, or planning apps to get the tips and advice you need.

Lean on your vendors for their advice and referrals.

The wedding industry is a small world no matter where you’re getting married, and many of your vendors have worked with each other and many other vendors on previous weddings. If you need a recommendation for a cellist, a live wedding painter, or another specialized vendor, chances are your photographer or another vendor can point you in the right direction. 

"You definitely don’t want to abuse them or ask them for something that doesn’t fall in their scope of work, but utilizing their help as much as you can will make the process easier and faster for you," adds Chang. 

Review contracts closely.

Weddings are a big investment. Most of your vendors require a contract and oftentimes at least a partial deposit in order to secure the goods or service. Make sure to read all contracts carefully before signing so you know exactly what you’re getting into when it comes to non-refundable deposits, cancellations, overtime and travel fees, etc. 

Trust your vendors.

Chances are your vendors often work hundreds of weddings per year and know exactly how to execute a flawless event. That’s why you hired them, after all! Ask questions ahead of time if you need reassurance, but at the same time trust that they know what they’re doing. 

Go with the flow and know when to let things go.

There’s always going to be something that happens on your wedding day that you didn’t plan for or expect. The best thing you can do when that happens is to take a breath, accept it, and just make the best of it. If you let these little details get you down, you might be too stressed out to enjoy one of the best days of your life.

One hour before the ceremony, give your phone to someone else. Anyone who is trying to contact you an hour before you walk down the aisle should either know exactly where you are, or it can wait. Keep calm, relax, and enjoy this incredibly special day.